Archive for June, 2009
Being a female sucks
Posted by kemibe in Hootworthy on June 10, 2009
Just passing on what I read on a general message board I’ve been wasting too much time on lately. You really need to read it, but I have no idea how long it’ll get, so I’ll extract the salient points here.
The thing starts with a poster discouraged because her being premenstrual has stalled her weight loss. OK, upsetting, but nothing eyebrow-raising about it. The thread evolves into a general, shared complaint about the various woes of menstrual periods, and someone chimes in to mention that she “ruined some sheets last night.” I never thought about it, and have never been privy to such an event, but now that I think about it, such episodes of leakage would seem commonplace. Others chime in to note similar experiences. Something called a “menstrual hut” is mentioned, and the suggestion to purchase red sheets is made.
It gets weirder. Some asks, “I’ve always wondered how rapists react if someone’s using a tampon.” One response:”Well in college my friend had sex and she forgot she had tampon in. You can fit a lot of stuff up there.” (This resulted in a trip to the emergency room.) Then, more gore: “While sleeping in my 13 year old son’s bed last month while he was at his dad’s, my body decided to unexpectedly gush blood all over his sheets, mattress pad and his carpet as I ran to the bathroom. When I returned to the room, I even found some on his pillows.”
Then, someone mentions having managed to insert a tampon and forget about it for weeks. Eventually the stench became overpowering (rampant bacterial vaginosis will do that) and triggered her to go to a clinic, where the doctor was aghast (yet probably impressed). Turns out that this is not especially rare.
I couldn’t help by add my probably unwelcome two cents. All I can say is that I thought “swamp balls” could be rank, but there’s no way men can compete with what goes un with the beleaguered fairer sex when problems occur. Anyone who can ably explain menstruation in the context of intelligent design needs to step up to the damned plate.
Gingi Edmonds is at it again
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 10, 2009
Remember the pro-life sicko who claimed that the owner of an abortion clinic who lost nine family members in a plane crash essentially had it coming for screwing with God? Not surprisingly, her reaction to the murder of George Tiller was similar and perhaps worse. Read her June 1 entry:
Murder is murder, and it is something that we pro-lifers inherently deplore. But I can’t help but note – and my history is rusty so pardon me here – I’m trying to remember, did anyone mourn Lee Harvey Oswald when Jack Ruby gunned him down? Or better yet, did anyone mourn the deaths of Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer, or any other mass murderer for that matter? Even according to the harebrained pro-choice life-at-viability reckoning, Tiller was indisputably a mass murderer who was executed in a fashion far more humane than the tens of thousands of children that he mutilated and left to die in cuddle session bassinets.
I mean, think about it. Someone just shot a Nazi guard manning the gas chamber at Aushwitz. I should feel bad about this? George Tiller the Baby Killer’s acts are every bit as vile as the Nazi war criminals who were hunted down, tried, and sentenced after they participated in the “legal” murder of the Jews that fell into their hands.
There you have it. Welcome to “pro-life” America, where abortion doctors are compared to Nazis, assassins, and cannibalistic serial killers without any hint of exaggeration for effect. This woman had s reached a remarkable level of scumhood for someone her age.
Evidence I’m a shameless public liar
Posted by kemibe in Self-Indulgent Wankery on June 9, 2009
Read this letter to the editor, then look closely at the comments beneath.
Makes me wonder how many others have done this, as registering to comment makes it painfully easy to submit letters.
Amazing women’s 1,500 at the Prefontaine Classic
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 9, 2009
Jenny Barringer ran an improbable 3:59.9 and broke the NCAA record. You know something special is going on when Shalane Flanagan (admittedly not a miler) is one of the laggards.
Event 7 Women 1500 Meter Run
================================================================
World: W 3:50.46 1993 Qu Yunxia, China
American: A 3:57.12 1983 Mary Slaney
Hayward: H 3:59.19 1984 Mary Slaney, USA
Prefontaine: P 4:00.44 2008 Gelete Burka, Ethiopia
All-Comer: @ 3:58.92 7/23/1988 Mary Slaney, USA
Name Year Team Finals
================================================================
Finals
1 Gelete Burka Ethiopia 3:59.89
2 Jenny Barringer USA 3:59.90
3 Anna Alminova Russia 4:01.44 4:01.432
4 Anna Willard USA 4:01.44 4:01.439
5 Christin Wurth-Thomas USA 4:01.72
6 Shannon Rowbury USA 4:03.92
7 Nuria Fernandez Spain 4:04.75
8 Nancy Lagat Kenya 4:05.05
9 Meskerem Assefa Ethiopia 4:05.99
10 Erin Donohue USA 4:06.70
11 Shalane Flanagan USA 4:06.91
12 Treniere Clement USA 4:10.73
13 Shayne Culpepper USA 4:15.18
— Nikeya Green USA DNF .
What makes a fuckhead?
Posted by kemibe in Hootworthy on June 9, 2009
Putting “fuckhead” in a blog post title probably qualifies. Still, this treatise on Internet fuckheads is amusing even if it only relates what everyone already knows.
The Internet fuckhead will come to the table insuperably convinced of his/her own correctness and of his/her immediacy in any debate or discussion. For example, the non-fuckhead will join a discussion cautiously, reading over the prior correspondance and offering an opinion thoughtfully. The fuckhead will come plowing in without regard to the established parameters of the debate and without regard to the existing participants.
The fuckhead, when challenged, will then state some fantastic-sounding credentials to justify and bolster the strong opinion. When challenged further, the fuckhead will usually display anger and refuse to further substantiate the presented credentials, some sort of “I already said so, and that should be good enough for you!”
At this point the Fuckhead has demonstrated an exaggerated sense of his/her own importance: He has presented an overriding opinion which, in the fuckhead’s mind, should be definitive and cease all debate, and the fuckhead will be unable to understand why the other Netizens will not accept his/her opinion on sight.
The Impending Purge
Posted by jim in Health and Society, The Medical Tent, What The Heck Is That Thing? on June 9, 2009
There are allusions to “bonobo scat spattered walls” here at the Refuge. Time to go one better. I am scheduled for a colonoscopy tomorrow. This will be my second such procedure so I have an idea of what to expect. I haven’t found any problem with the procedure itself, but the prep is tad, shall we say, messy. Here’s what it looks like:
Three days prior, no more fresh fruit or vegetables, and no nuts. This kills me because that’s about one third of my diet. OK, so I can live on canned fruit for a while, but morning cereal without my usual blueberries, strawberries, etc. is depressing. Oh, and no dried fruit stuff either due to skin and/or seeds. There goes more snack food.
So now the “fun” stuff. The day before the procedure (today) it’s a clear liquid only diet. And Jell-O. Joy of joys. At 2 PM I am to take 2 Dulcolax tablets to “get things moving”. At 6 PM, I am instructed to mix an entire 238 gram bottle of Miralax in a 64 ounce bottle of sports drink (I chose lemon-lime) and drink 8 ounces every 10-15 minutes until it’s finished. So that’s nearly two liters of laxative-spiked Gatorade in maybe an hour and a half. Here’s the part I love on the instruction sheet: “Expect everything you drink to pass through the rectum”. That’s an understatement. If past experience is any guide that should read “Expect everything you drink to rocket out of your anus at near hypersonic velocity. You may wish to flush mid-rifle to ensure that the bowl doesn’t overflow.”
And just in case that’s not enough, it’s two more Dulcolax tablets at 8 PM.
I think it would be easier if they just had you sit on a firehose. If there’s anything left in there after this procedure, I’d have to guess that it’s welded in place.
Obviously, there’s nothing to eat or drink after midnight. In fact, that’s one of the first things they ask when you check in: “Have you had anything to eat or drink since midnight?” The instructions are quite explicit, so asked if anyone ever answered “yes” to that query. The nurse said that it sometimes happens, and in fact, one fellow answered “Yes, I had a chili-dog for breakfast this morning.”
Needless to say, his procedure was cancelled for that day.
The NORAD phenomenon in Colorado
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 8, 2009
When I was out there in 1996, I was part of the military and in theory on that basis could have toured the place buried inside Cheyenne Mountain. Just outside of the city limits exists the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), built underneath Cheyenne Mountain. I would joke with people about running up the side of it. They would respond, not jokingly, that I would have been shot if I’d tried.
It’s not hard understand why.
Blast valves, installed in reinforced concrete bulkheads, have been placed in the exhaust and air intake supply, as well as water, fuel, and sewer lines. Sensors at the North and South Portal entrances will detect overpressure waves from a nuclear explosion, causing the valves to close and protect the complex. The buildings in the complex are mounted on 1,319 steel springs, each weighing about 1,000 pounds (450 kg). The springs allow the complex to move 12 inches (30 cm) in any one direction. To make the complex self-sufficient, adequate space in the complex is devoted to support functions. A dining facility, medical facility with dental office, pharmacy and a two-bed ward; two physical fitness centers with exercise equipment and sauna; a small base exchange and barber shop are all located within the complex.
In other words, this place could withstand a nuke from an ICBM and merely rock on its springs. It makes me wonder, in the rogue era of every backwater country having nuclear capabilities, whether I had chased a career into the State Department.
Why does our legislature act like assholes?
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 7, 2009
It’s bad enough to listen to shitasses yammer about gun control (and for the record I am not for limiting firearms purchases, except for semiautomatic weapons and such) but this is ridiculous:
The Senate on Tuesday night easily passed an amendment to credit card reform legislation that would allow concealed weapons in national parks. The vote was 67 to 29.
How did a concealed-weapons law ride in on the coattails of a piece of legislation aimed at credit-card debtors? That’s right. That fucking whacknut Tom Coburn.
We are not yet purged of shit-headed congresspeople.
Mickey Mantle’s longest home runs
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 6, 2009
From Topps.com (I only wish I had gotten to see him play):
(1) 734 feet (5/22/63, Yankee Stadium Façade* – Pitcher: Bill Fischer, Kansas City Athletics – Left-handed)
Mickey said that the “hardest ball I ever hit” came in the 11th inning on May 22, 1963 at Yankee Stadium. Leading off in the bottom of the 11th, with the score tied 7-7, A’s pitcher Bill Fischer tried to blow a fastball past Mickey.
Bad idea. Mickey stepped into it and, with perfect timing, met the ball with the sweet spot of his bat, walloping it with everything he had. The sound of the bat colliding with the ball was likened to a cannon shot. The players on both benches jumped to their feet. Yogi Berra shouted, “That’s it!” The ball rose in a majestic laser-like drive, rocketing into the night toward the farthest confines of Yankee Stadium. The question was never whether it was a home run or not. The question was whether this was going to be the first ball to be hit out of Yankee Stadium.
That it had the height and distance was obvious. But would it clear the façade, the decoration on the front side of the roof above the third deck in rightfield? “I usually didn’t care how far the ball went so long as it was a home run. But this time I thought, ‘This ball could go out of Yankee Stadium!’”
Just as the ball was about to leave the park, it struck the façade mere inches from the top with such ferocity that it bounced all the way back to the infield. That it won the game was an afterthought. Mickey just missed making history. It was the closest a ball has ever come to going out of Yankee Stadium in a regular season game.**
The question then became “How far would the ball have gone had the façade not prevented it from leaving the park?” Using geometry, it is possible to calculate the distance with some accuracy. The principle variable is how high the ball would have gone. If we assume the ball was at its apex at the point where it struck the façade, using the Pythagorean Theorem (“In a right triangle, the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides”) we can determine the distance from home plate to the point where the ball struck the façade. Then we can use calculus to calculate that the distance the ball would have traveled would have been 636 feet. However, there are a number of undetermined factors: wind velocity, spin on the ball, the speed of the pitch Mickey hit, and others. (For a more complete explanation of the calculations and complete description of this and other Mantle homers, see Explosion! by Mark Gallagher. This book is the definitive book on Mantle’s homers. Unfortunately, it is out of print. It may be available at your local library.)
So how do we get 734 feet? In the example above, we assumed that the ball was at its apex when it struck the façade. However, observers were unanimous in their opinion that the ball was still rising when it hit the façade. How do we determine how high the ball
would have gone? In fact, we cannot. From this point forward all numbers become guesses, estimates of how high we think the ball might have gone. A conservative estimate would be 20 feet. Those 20 feet make a major difference. They cause our calculation to go up almost 100 feet, to the 734 foot number listed above. Is 20 feet a fair estimate? Those present when the ball was hit feel that it would have gone at least that much higher, and many feel that the 20 foot number is far too low. It is all just a guess.
This is a good example of what can happen with estimates, especially computer estimates that determine the length of home runs now. Most of the home run distance numbers used today are the result of computer estimates of how far the ball would have traveled without obstruction. (One of these programs gave the 734 foot number listed.) Whether or not this is a fair number is a matter of opinion. However, if the distance of this home run is disputed, then the distance of many of the home runs hit by today’s players must be questioned. While the software used for home run distances has greatly improved, there remain questions as to its accuracy. It is important to note that many of Mickey’s home runs were measured to the point they actually landed, leaving no question about the accuracy of the distance reported.
* The façade was the decorative facing along the roof of the old Yankee Stadium. Mickey hit the façade in regular-season games at least three times during his career: May 5, 1956 off Moe Burtschy, May 20, 1956 off Pedro Ramos, and May 22, 1963 off Bill Fischer.
** Legend has it that Mickey hit balls completely out of Yankee Stadium up to three times during batting practices. Supposedly Mickey did it twice left-handed and once right-handed. Witnesses of these incredible feats include fans, stadium vendors, teammates and opposing players.
(2) 656 feet (3/26/51, Bovard Field, USC – Exhibition Game. Pitcher: Unknown – Left-handed)
Mickey was having a fantastic spring training. In 1951 the Yankees trained in Arizona instead of Fort Lauderdale. The dry desert air and higher altitude are conducive to the longball, and Mickey made the most of it. “The first time that I really knew I could play in the big leagues was when I found that I could hit major league pitching that spring.
“I was just happy to be with the club that year. I thought I was going to play Triple A ball with Kansas City. I was in Double A the year before and no one had ever gone directly to the Yankees from Double A.
“I hit a lot of long home runs that spring. After our spring training schedule in Arizona we played some exhibition games on the west coast. At Seals Stadium in San Francisco I hit a ball where they say only DiMaggio had hit one before. And of course there was the home run at USC.”
Bovard Field at the University of Southern California is a small ball diamond with a football field adjacent to right and right-centerfield. A street runs outside and parallel to the leftfield wall, with a number of houses in the neighborhood across from the park. On March 26, 1951 the Yankees played an exhibition game with the USC baseball team.
During the game Mickey belted two spectacular blasts, one from each side of the plate. They were two of the longest home runs ever seen.
The first blast, hit right-handed, was a high drive that easily cleared the leftfield wall. It crossed the street running parallel to the park and landed on the roof of the third house down on the street that runs perpendicular into the street outside Bovard Field. No estimate has ever been given for its length, although it is safe to say it was easily over 500 feet, and may have approached 600 feet. A tremendous blast by any standards.
But Mickey wasn’t finished. His second homer came left-handed. Mickey rocketed the ball over the right-centerfield wall, across the adjacent football field, finally landing on the far sideline and hopping over the fence bordering the field. The distance: 656 feet to the point where it first landed! 19-year-old Mickey Mantle had just hit the longest home run in baseball history! In a single game Mantle hit two homers that were longer than most major league players hit in a career.
The distance of the second homer is well documented. The USC outfielder, Tom Riach, and legendary USC coach Rod Dedeaux both saw the exact spot where the ball landed. Later each separately went out and pointed to the spot. They were two feet apart. Said Dedeaux, “It was a superhuman feat.”
Before Mickey played a single major league game he’d become a legend.
(3) 650 feet (6/11/53, Briggs Stadium, Detroit – Pitcher: Art Houteman, Detroit Tigers – Left-handed
Mickey had a 15-game hitting streak, and the Yankees a 13-game winning streak, going into this game at Briggs Stadium in Detroit. In the seventh inning, the Mick came to the plate with a man on base. Facing right-handed pitcher Art Houteman,
Mickey belted a tremendous drive that ricocheted off the rightfield roof. (Some witnesses say it hit the same light tower as Reggie Jackson’s prodigious drive in the 1971 All-Star game.)
Only Ted Williams had ever hit one over the roof in Detroit. Mickey’s roof clearing blasts would come later in his career. This blast was yet another tape measure shot, continuing what Mickey started in April that year. Using geometric calculations, it would have ended up across Trumbull Avenue, approximately 650 feet from the plate.
(4) 643 feet (9/10/60, Tiger Stadium, Detroit – Pitcher: Paul Foytack, Detroit Tigers – Left-handed)
Detroit’s Tiger Stadium (the name was changed from Briggs Stadium) was a favorite Mantle hunting ground for legendary home run blasts. On September 10, 1960, with two out and two on in the seventh, Mickey worked the count to 2-0. Righty Paul Foytack fired a fastball right into the Mick’s killing zone and he jumped on it. He crushed a spectacular drive that easily cleared the rightfield roof (something Mickey had done several times by this point in his career), crossed Trumbull Avenue and landed at the base of a shed in the Brooks lumberyard across from the ballpark.
For spectators that day it was another of many tape measure homers Mantle hit during his career. But this one turns into quite a story a quarter of a century later. As told by Mark Gallagher in his excellent book, Explosion!, Dr. Paul Susman, a true Mantle fan, was convinced that this home run was special. As part of Dr. Susman’s research for Gallagher’s book, he went to Detroit to see if he could get the necessary information to calculate the exact distance the ball traveled.
It turns out that the story of Mickey’s historic drive was well known at Brooks Lumber. Paul Borders, a Brooks employee, saw exactly where the ball landed. Susman and fellow researcher Robert Schiewe calculated the distance through Schiewe’s use of the Pythagorean Theorem. The result was a prodigious 643 feet. This is the longest home run to have actually been measured from the point it was hit to the point at which it landed. Although it was measured after the fact, the point of impact was well-known and we believe this distance to be completely reliable. This is no computer estimate. This is the distance the ball traveled in the air from home plate to the place where it landed. The Guinness Book of Sports Records notes it as the longest home run in a major league game to be measured “after the fact.” It is the longest home run ever hit in a major league game where it was possible to get the exact measurement. Considered along with the Bovard Field homer, it demonstrates that Mickey’s unheard of home run distances are no flukes.
(5) 630 feet (9/12/53, Yankee Stadium – Pitcher: Billy Hoeft, Detroit Tigers – Right-handed)
Going into the bottom of the seventh inning of this game the Yankees had a slim one-run lead over the Tigers, 4-3. Mickey stepped in to face lefty Billy Hoeft. With two men on and a 3-2 count, Mickey blasted a searing line drive that scorched through the air into the upper deck in leftfield. There it smashed a seat and bounced back down onto the playing field. It was Mickey’s second long homer of the game. The first was a titanic cloud-duster to left-center that measured 420 feet, although it easily traveled half-again that distance if its actual arc were measured. In the accompanying photo the Polo Grounds, home of the NY Giants, can be seen at the top as indicated by the small red arrow.
1953 was the year of the tape measure home run. Beginning April 17th in Washington, Mickey went on a tear of longball hitting the likes of which had never been seen. Long distance homers became a great topic of conversation. Earlier during the game Yankees Hall of Fame catcher Bill Dickey was saying that Babe Ruth and Jimmy Foxx had both hit balls farther than the Mick. After Mantle’s seventh inning blast Dickey said, “Forget what I just said. I’ve never seen a ball hit that hard! “
Mickey’s blast traveled 425 feet to the seat it broke 80 feet above the field. Once again, geometric calculations give us the 630 foot figure for the length of Mickey’s blast if unimpeded. About this homer Casey Stengel said, “See that last exit in the upper deck in left field? Look. Way up there almost over the bullpen. They say that nobody ever hit one outta the Yankee Stadium. But if the stands didn’t get in the way Mantle’s would have gone over the wall because it was still climbin’ when it smacked the seats.”
(6) 620 feet (5/30/56, Yankee Stadium Façade – Pitcher: Pedro Ramos, Washington Senators – Left-handed)
Mickey loved Washington pitching. He hit many long home runs off the Senators’ Pedro Ramos and Camilo Pascual. In the twin bill played on May 30, 1956 Mickey faced both Pascual and Ramos, and he pounded a long shot off each of them.
Mickey was on another longball tear, having bounced a ball off the rightfield façade on May 5th off Kansas City’s Moe Burtschy. (No estimate has been made of the distance of that Mantle homer, which may well end up in the top ten if ever calculated.) It was the year Mickey won baseball’s Triple Crown, challenging Babe Ruth’s home run record in the process. He ended up with 52, one of the few players to hit over 50 homers in a season.
“Pedro and I were friends. He used to challenge me to a foot race before games. In one game one of our pitchers, I don’t remember who, knocked down one of the Washington players – you could tell it was a knockdown – and Ramos had to knock down one of our players to protect his guys.
“I was leading off the next inning and I didn’t even think about the knockdown. Everybody on our bench and everybody on their bench and even some of the fans knew I was gonna get a knockdown, but I didn’t even think about it.
“Sure enough, Pedro hit me with his first pitch. It didn’t make me mad – he didn’t try to hit me in the head or anything, you know, just in the butt – but after the game he came up to me and said, ‘Meekie, I’m sorry I have to do that.’ I said, ‘That’s okay. But the next time you do it I’m gonna drag a bunt toward first base and run right up your back.’ He said, ‘You would really do that?’
“The funny thing about it was that the next time up was the time I almost hit one out of Yankee Stadium. It hit the façade. After the game he came up to me and said, ‘I’d rather have you run up my back than to hit one over the roof!’”
The first game Mickey faced Ramos after Mickey was hit by Pedro’s pitch was the first game of the doubleheader. With the Yankees behind 1-0 Mickey laid into a Ramos fastball and got it all. The ball took off in a high drive toward rightfield that looked like it might have a chance to become the first ball to go completely out of Yankee Stadium. It soared above the stadium roof but a stiff breeze cut at it and brought it down against the rightfield façade, about 18 inches from clearing the roof.
It was an amazing feat, the likes of which had not been seen before. It became a Yankee Stadium legend until eclipsed by Mickey’s later efforts. Spectators and rival players pointed to the spot the ball hit for weeks afterward. Their reaction is summed up by Harvey Kuenn of the Tigers: “Did he really hit it up there? Really?”
In the second game Pascual was pitching. Mickey came to the plate in the fifth with the score tied at 3-3 and a man on base. Mickey launched another left-handed homer, this one into the rightfield bleachers, a 450-foot blast. The Yankees swept the doubleheader, much in thanks to Mickey and his prodigious home runs.
(7) 565 feet (4/17/53, Griffith Stadium, Washington – Pitcher: Chuck Stobbs, Washington Senators – Right-handed)
This ranks as one of if not the most famous home run in history. It’s the home run that coined the term “tape measure home run” and is listed in the Guinness Book of Sports Records as the longest home run to be hit in a regular-season major league game.
The Yankees were playing the Senators at Griffith Stadium in Washington, DC. Griffith Stadium was a little bandbox of a ballpark but, as Mickey said, “It wasn’t that easy to hit a home run there. There was a 90-foot wall in centerfield, and there always seemed to be a breeze blowing in.”
Lefty Chuck Stobbs was on the mound. A light wind was blowing out from home plate for a change. It was two years to the day since Mickey’s first major league game. Mickey stepped up to the plate. Stobbs fired a fastball just below the letters, right where the Mick liked them, and he connected full-on with it. The ball took off toward the 391-foot sign in left-centerfield. It soared past the fence, over the bleachers and was headed out of the park when it ricocheted off a beer sign on the auxiliary football scoreboard. Although slightly impeded, it continued its flight over neighboring Fifth Street and landed in the backyard of 434 Oakdale Street, several houses up the block.
Billy Martin was on third when Mickey connected and, as a joke, he pretended to tag up like it was just a long fly ball. Mickey didn’t notice Billy’s shenanigans (“I used to keep my head down as I rounded the bases after a home run. I didn’t want to show up the pitcher. I figured he felt bad enough already”) and almost ran into Billy! If not for third base coach Frank Crosetti he would have. Had Mickey touched Billy he would have automatically been declared out and would have been credited only with a double.
Meanwhile up in the press box Yankees PR director Red Patterson cried out, “That one’s got to be measured!” He raced out of the park and around to the far side of the park where he found 10-year-old Donald Dunaway with the ball. Dunaway showed Red the ball’s impact in the yard and Red paced off the distance to the outside wall of Griffith Stadium. Contrary to popular myth, he did not use a tape measure, although he and Mickey were photographed together with a giant tape measure shortly after the historic blast. Using the dimensions of the park, its walls and the distance he paced off, Patterson calculated the ball traveled 565 feet. However, sportswriter Joe Trimble, when adding together the distances, failed to account for the three foot width of the wall and came up with the 562-foot figure often cited. However, 565 feet is the correct number.
This was the first ball to ever go over Griffith Stadium’s leftfield bleachers. Most believe the ball would have gone even further had it not hit the scoreboard. At any rate, it became one of the most famous home runs ever. It was headline news in a number of newspapers and a major story across the country. From that date forward long home runs were referred to as “tape measure” home runs. That this home run is ranked as #7 on Mickey’s top ten says an awful lot about Mickey’s incredible power. For most players it would have been a once-in-a-lifetime shot if they were lucky enough to even come close to this distance. (Note: The photo of Mickey batting left-handed with the ball glancing off the scoreboard is for illustration only. Mickey hit the 565-foot Griffith Stadium home run batting right-handed.)
(8) 550 feet (6/5/55, Comiskey Park, Chicago – Pitcher: Billy Pierce, Chicago White Sox – Right-handed)
On June 5, 1955, at Comiskey Park in Chicago, the Yankees battled the White Sox. In the fourth inning of the second game of a doubleheader, Mickey stepped in against lefty Billy Pierce. Pierce tried to slip a fastball past Mickey and the Mick tore into it, sending a scorching high drive to left. The ball cleared the 360-foot mark, crossed the 160-foot roof and descended to smash a car windshield on 34th Street outside. A parking lot attendant recovered the ball.
Some papers reported that Mickey’s drive landed on the roof or hit a light tower but didn’t go out of the park. But the Comiskey Park attendants on the roof went to the Yankees locker room after the game to tell Mickey that his homer had cleared the roof and gone completely out of the park.
Only Jimmy Foxx had ever hit a ball that far. However, Mickey’s homer is the only one to have eyewitnesses to verify that it actually cleared the stadium.
(9) 535 feet (7/6/53, Connie Mack Stadium, Philadelphia – Pitcher: Frank Fanovich, Philadelphia Athletics – Right-handed)
The Yankees were playing a twi-night doubleheader at the re-named Shibe Park in Philadelphia against the Philadelphia Athletics. In the first game when the Yankees came to bat in the top of the sixth the score was 5-4 in their favor. Frank Fanovich, pitching in relief for the A’s, walks Billy Martin, Phil Rizzuto and Yanks pitcher Johnny Sain with one out. Irv Noren, playing centerfield for an ailing Mickey Mantle, was due up. Casey Stengel, famous for playing the percentages, sent the Mick in to pinch-hit right-handed against the lefty. Fanovich, with the bases loaded behind him, fired a thigh-high fastball right down the middle. Mickey clobbered it, sending it high over the roof of the second deck in left-centerfield. The ball cleared the roof by a good 25 feet, went over Somerset Street outside, and was never seen again. It was one of the longest home runs in Philadelphia history.
It was Mickey’s third career grand slam, and a fabulous one at that. It helped turn around a Yankees losing streak (they had lost 11 out of 15 going into the doubleheader) and they went on to win the nightcap. Once again the Mick hit a ball where only Jimmy Foxx had hit one before.
(10) 530 feet (4/28/53, Busch Stadium, St. Louis – Pitcher: Bob Cain, St. Louis Browns – Right-handed)
Eleven days after Mickey’s historic blast at Griffith Stadium he blasted another tape measure home run in St. Louis against the St. Louis Browns at the newly renamed Busch Stadium, formerly Sportsman’s Park. This home run is overlooked because it came so soon after Mickey’s 565-footer at Griffith Stadium in Washington. But those present in St. Louis May 28, 1953 acknowledge it as perhaps the longest ball ever hit at the old St. Louis ballpark.
It was a wild game in which the Yankees lost a 5-0 lead, there was a bench clearing brawl with actual punches thrown, and the game was stopped due to spectators throwing bottles at the Yankees outfielders. With two out and two on in the third, Mickey, batting right-handed, golfed a low pitch that sailed over the leftfield wall. It cleared the street, smashed against a house’s second floor porch and bounced into a yard on Sullivan Avenue.
Red Patterson, the same PR director who measured Mickey’s epic Griffith Stadium shot 11 days earlier, also paced off this homer. However, he measured it only from the base of the house the ball struck. That distance is 494 feet, but the ball hit the porch at least 15 feet above the ground. This drive would easily have gone the 530 feet cited if not impeded by the house porch.
Interesting moral compass Catholic priests have
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 6, 2009
Let’s bugger young boys, or at least aid and abet the practice, but refuse to marry same-sex couples. Nice dichotomy.
I don’t think Catholic priests should be under any obligation to participate in same-sex marriage ceremonies if they don’t want to (although I wonder how many gays looking to marry want to have it happen in a church anyway), and there are various U-U churches that are happy to subserve the same function. But the moral confusion of the RCC is astounding. Sure, let’s oppose condom distribution in HIV-ridden Africa, meanwhile sheltering pederast priests who should be brought up on felony charges but are being sheltered in the Vatican, all the while whimpering about the reality of homosexual romance.
Growing up in New Hampshire, virtually all of the religious types I hung out with–and there weren’t a slew up them–were Catholic. I used to think Catholics were considerably more reasonable than most godders, but I have had to abandon that idea. They’re also hypocrites for the most part.
Fuck those clowns. My dad suffered through Catholic school and my mom was raised a proper Baptist, and thank Zeus they never put me through that shitmill. Other than to the damage done to the sexually abused, I’m glad the RCC’s child rapists are helping to destroy their outdated, bumblefuck operation from the inside.
A thoroughly unpleasant surprise
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 6, 2009
I was perusing the Concord Monitor Web site last night when I was jolted by a name in the obituary section. One of my high-school classmates died this week.
Becky (Ross) Canter and I weren’t especially close, but we traveled in the same general circles and she always struck me as a sweetheart. More recently she was involved with the Concord Rolfe & Rumford home, a place for girls with nowhere else to go except into foster care.
She and I were Facebook friends, and although I admit it seems a touch morbid, her page remains live and people have been leaving all sorts of condolences for the family.
I know of no other people from the CHS class of 1988 who have departed the world, although Im sure I’m wrong and just haven’t kept up. It’s not something I want to get used to.
38 and with a daughter. Sometimes life is a joke, and most of the time the joke isn’t funny at all.
Man on ground prays to Yahweh, gets tasered by cops, runs away
Posted by kemibe in Sheer Procrastination on June 5, 2009
This is just strange. This guy who obviously is a few sharp tools shy of having both full decks in the water is held down on the ground by two cops and babbling, and then things really get strange. At one point he starts serenading them, and when they finally zap him it only galvanizes him into breaking free and running away.
For the last time…
Posted by kemibe in The Medical Tent on June 5, 2009
…the fact that most overweight people regain most or all weight they lose does not imply that it carries no health risks or that weight loss just isn’t possible for some people. If you carry on certain behaviors that promote slimming, than abandon them and return to old ones, of course you’ll get fat again. That’s common sense.
I write this because of a passage in an otherwise excellent posting about quackery and its shoddy label, “evidence-based medicine”:
I am broadly sympathetic to Paul Campos’ claim that medical guidelines on obesity tell you much more about the attitudes towards fat in the upper middle class social stratum that doctors occupy, than about reliable scientific evidence on same.
But policy demands certainty. And so you get obesity guidelines advising everyone to diet and excercise to shed their excess pounds, even though it’s as close to a scientific certainty as anything is that most people simply regain any weight they manage to diet off. And you get absurdly precise economic forecasting, even though in many cases, the better answer would be “who knows?”
Perhaps a lot of doctors and others are biased in favor of alarmism to some extent, and carry around prejudices. However, one can’t just throw out all of the unequivocal evidence that extra weight is a health hazard just because white-coats rub you the wrong way. Paul Campos is a crank and has been for years.
I don’t know if it’s possible to write dumber things than this
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 5, 2009
Check out this comment to an article in the Concord (N.H.) Monitor.
“Armyvet” is a notoriously stupid, paranoid, and illiterate commenter on the site. The amazing thing is that he turns around and complains of being attacked. I do my best to hector him even though it’s as mean as teasing a little kid or a cat for fun.
Who’d have guessed that we would become the object…
Posted by kemibe in Self-Indulgent Wankery, Sheer Procrastination on June 5, 2009
People need to think that there was some huge blow-up behind the scenes, probably because it makes the recent departures more interesting. There has been some recent tumult on the internal forums, sure, but that’s never not the case. Doc Bushwell and I have been mulling over the idea of returning to a more customizable site for months. Spite is not an issue and Seed treated us with class, plain and simple.
We’ve seen a modest decrease in traffic, but that’s to be expected and I don’t think any of us gives a shit. And while my coprolalia was pretty bad at times on SB, now I can be even more reckless and crass, always a plus.
The most pointless blog post/Youtube video in the history of the Web
Posted by kemibe in Sheer Procrastination on June 5, 2009
I’m headed to Boulder a week from Monday and will return on the 29th. The idea is to hook up with as many of the higher-profile runners as I can in order to conduct on-the-run interviews that I will integrate into the chapters of this book I’m allegedly about to get a contract to write.
I also learned today that there’s a good chance I will be covering the Himalayas 100-mile stage race in November. I never reckoned I would make it to New Delhi before seeing Europe, but hey.
45 animals seized in Alabama dog-fighting raid
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 5, 2009
Man, I really fume over this kind of shit. This threatens to change my whole opinion of Alabama as a bastion of progressivism and sophistication.
On Monday, June 1, a dog fighting operation in Randolph County was raided by the state’s 5th Judicial Circuit Drug Task Force. The ASPCA dispatched forensic veterinarian, Dr. Melinda Merck, and our Mobile Animal Crime Scene Investigation Unit to collect evidence in the investigation and aid in the prosecution of the case.
Dr. Merck examined 45 dogs who were discovered tied to heavy chains and living in deplorable conditions on the two properties. She also examined partially buried skeletal remains of a dog found on site. In addition, controlled substances, illicit drugs and other paraphernalia related to dog fighting have been collected into evidence.
“These dogs definitely suffered abuse and inhumane treatment at the hands of dog fighters,” said Dr. Merck, Senior Director of Veterinary Forensics for the ASPCA. “So far, we’ve seen that one is unable to walk, another that is limping, and many that are injured, some severely.”
A theistic evolutionist gets the shaft
Posted by kemibe in We're Doomed on June 5, 2009
I obviously don’t agree with many of this minister’s ideas, but he’s no enemy of science and didn’t deserve the treatment he’s gotten from the Royal Society (U.K.). Decide for yourself whether this was warranted, but it smells like bullshit to me. (thanks, hopper3011)



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