Had you there, didn’t I? I hope not. No, Gribbit, whose blog I hadn’t looked at in many months until today, has not, in fact, become the first-ever victim of terminal right-wing delusional ignorance to make even a partial recovery, much less a complete one.
Buried in the spoiled colostrum of another anti-Obama screed is this wondrously clueless tidbit:
At this point, I’m going to divert from religion to eligibility to be President of the United States. Many who claim Obama is ineligible are attempting to make the case on the ambiguity surrounding the place of his birth. Because the matter of the location of his birth seems to be impossible to prove, I say we should concentrate on making the case based on what we know to be true.
A few things about this wreck of a set-up, leaving out how piss-poor a grasp of language Gribbit possesses despite attempting to use it to the tune of who knows how many hundreds of worthless words a week. First, the “ambiguity” Gribbit notes rests only in the tiny minds of his haters. The issue has been settled by anyone with a direct stake in it. Were there any substance to the rumors about Obama’s birth certificate from Hawaii being fake or insufficient, his political opponents–who possess far more resources to hunt down such things than do shut-in semi-literate bloggers–would have produced it by now. Even Ann Coulter, a longtime idol of Gribbit’s, agrees that “birthers” are out to lunch. Second, when “we” consists of these selfsame small-minded haters, they are in no position to judge what is and is not true. For the singular purpose of taking swings at the political left, they swallow the most outlandish rumors, credit garbage factories like WorldNet Daily with being reliable sources, and engage in furious exercises of hypocrisy so startling in their reach that it is a constant struggle to distinguish this corrupt but sincere nonsense from clever parody. They should say this paryer each morning: Dear God who hath rendered me Brain-Dead, please grant me the Wisdom to Remember Always that an Internet Connection and a Blog doth not giveth an Idiot a Reason to Opine.
Gribbit then lists his reasons for Obama’s alleged ineligibility.
Barack Hussein Obama was registered in public school in Indonesia under the name Barry Soetoro. Obama does not deny this.
Indonesia at the time required Indonesian citizenship to attend public school.
Indonesia at the time did not recognize dual citizenship.
Evidently the fact that whatever Indonesia’s laws were at the time, they have no impact on those of the U.S. How interesting that a Muslim-hater like this corpulent hillbilly is suddenly more interested in applying the laws of a Muslim country to the U.S. political process. What Gribbit evidently does not understand and at a minimum certainly refuses to accept is that Obama is in fact a United States citizen by birth and never ceded it through any of his actions (or more specifically, those of his parents) as a schoolboy. Gribbit needs many, many civics lessons if he plans to ascend from the ranks of stupid, worthless liar to somewhat educated, worthless liar, always a savvy career move in the shitblog world.
It is my contention that these three facts speak to Obama’s ineligibility alone.
Wait, it’s Gribbit’s contention? Well, fuck. I take it all back, then. It’s decided!
To be President of the United States you must be a natural born citizen.
That’s right! Just like the current president!
Even if we were to stipulate to that fact, it can be, and should be, argued that he was voluntarily expatriated by his mother and step-father when they registered him in public school in Indonesia.
Note again the use of the “wingnut We” (similar to the “Royal We” but markedly less majestic). What Gribbit wants to argue is immaterial because he has demonstrated his complete lack of a grasp of the basics of the very issue he’s trying to dissect here. He can rant, but no one needs to listen.
As such, if he never applied for citizenship upon his return to the United States he is in fact an illegal alien. If he had applied for citizenship and it was granted, he is no longer an natural born citizen but rather a naturalized citizen and ineligible to serve as President.
Obama never ceded his U.S. citizenship during his time in Indonesia. In 2008, a lawyer named Philip Berg filed a lawsuit asserting that Obama was a citizen of Kenya or Indonesia, not the U.S. The suit was dismissed posthaste in a Pennsylvania district court and this decision was upheld by the Third Circuit Court of Appeals. In other words, this is a dead issue. Gribbit, get the fuck over it. Your shitty ideas held no weight when they were first introduced and they are only unraveling further with time. Your infantile resentment makes you look like the biggest asshole on Earth no one knows or cares about, and at some level you understand this because you go to great pains to keep even the most reasoned and restrained criticism of your output at bay, staving off comments, trackback pings, and all other evidence that threatens your porous view of the world. You’re like a small child who really is convinced that if he squeezes his eyes shut tightly enough, no one can see him cowering under a table.