Posts Tagged Christopathy

The public cocoon

The world’s full of ignorant and constitutively unintelligent people. As the emergence of the Internet has shown, this shambling and insufferable army of halfwits is just as eager to offer opinions as those who can actually read, think, and process information above what I’d refer to as a simian level if I were fucking drunk and feeling less than charitable. Among these hominid-pundits who technically qualify as human beings are Gribbit and Ikester7579 (Andrew Richardson and Isaac Bourne respectively). If I were indeed plastered and inclined to engage in facile ways to upset these assholes, I’d write this post in a manner that would force Google to index additional evidence of the haplessness of Andrew Richardson of Dayton, Ohio (Gribbit) and Isaac Bourne of Jacksonville (Ikester 7579) and link it to their real names.

That dumbasses want to be heard just as much as others do is not at all surprising; in fact, it’s to be expected, and at some level it’s even acceptable. Before the Web, fuckheads who in a sensible world keep their delusions and misapprehensions to themselves had few options for sharing them beyond the walls of their trailers and group homes. They could disseminate their useless ideas was by writing incoherent letters to newspapers, creating illegible newsletters, and meeting in the basement of Cletus’ Snack Shack in Twat Rot, Alabama to trade insights about how to best deal with Negroes, liberals, the godless and other enemies of the trout-faced and toothless. Beyond that? Not much; functional illiterates have a hard time infiltrating higher-visibility venues such as the mainstream media, colleges, and book publishers (all of which are controlled by vindictive, godless Jew-communists anyway). Read the rest of this entry »

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“It’s not your average creation video”

This is true only to the extent that the video in question is narrated by a young-earth whackjob who looks and sounds disturbingly like Richard Dawkins. Watching the video is thus much like watching George Carlin deliver a speech in an impassive monotone about how bright and charming most people are, or seeing Sarah Palin offer her latest insights about superstring theory. Other than that, though, it’s standard creationist bullshit — allege that something that real scientists have elucidated is actually a quandary for them, then solve a nonexistent problem (or more to the point, something that is a problem only for YECs) by throwing up a Biblical model in its place. Boilerplate drivel.

You may have noticed that the guy who operates this blog, Ikester, himself doesn’t possess an especially deep understanding of that which he purports to debunk: Read the rest of this entry »

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The U.S. military needs to score a real victory now

That way the swamp-crickets of America can run around assuring everyone that Obama didn’t engineer it, the troops did, courtesy of the previous president’s legacy of savvy foreign policy.

This is one aspect of rednecks I hadn’t considered until I thought about getting hammered and writing a post like this. It’s no secret that they’re steeped in Jesus juice, extremely fond of the idea of war, staunch Obama haters, and inordinately proud to be part of the same “greatest nation on Earth” that they routinely complain about, keenly unaware that the kielbasa-choked guts protruding from beneath their Dale Earnhardt Jr. T-shirts are not places in which people with viable opinions localize their most aggressive thought processes. Read the rest of this entry »

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Analogy is going to demand an assault charge after this one

“Tell them Osama’s dead without proof of a body & they celebrate. Tell them Jesus died & rose without proof of a body & they speculate.”

This was the recent Facebook status of someone a friend of mine has been close to since childhood. That this is a logical Hindenburg is self-evident, but I’ll address it anyway.

My friend is conflicted about her relationships with most the people she’s known the longest, and understandably so. One hand, she grew up flitting at all times on the edges of being a ward of the state thanks to one of those chaotic rural Southern upbringings that seems too stereotypical to be real, a life extracted from a Harry Crews novel. She has few surviving close family members, and her chief allies in life besides her husband are cousins and childhood pals who together from an unofficial united front against progressive politics, exercise, sobriety, and godlessness. It’s more a little hard to take for my friend, who graduated second in her class in a prominent law school, is a dedicated runner, despises most Republicans, and has a Facebook feed that looks like the ass end of an all-you-can-eat tent revival sponsored jointly by NASCAR and Pabst Blue Ribbon. These people have been mainstays in a tumultuous life and she would never turn her back on them, but at times she either has to mentally mute their serial cognitive recklessness or check into the Crazy Inn herself. Read the rest of this entry »

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Just when I think I’m wasting far too many words on nonsense…

…someone points me to a blog post that reminds me I’m not even in the Triple-A of inane and verbose. Read the rest of this entry »

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Brilliant article in the Christian Post about Hitchens’ cancer

Actually the article was anything but brilliant; it was the usual spin from God-botherers catering to the lowest common denominator of belief — defensive ignorance. Had it been brilliant or even reasonable, this would have been ironic, and irony is the touchstone of this post. Read the rest of this entry »

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He is risen!

Bullshit. If “he” was ever around in the first place to be fallen, he has stayed that way for almost two thousand years. Those who like to suspend the laws of the natural world an believe in the original resurrection despite the frivolity of this are invited to consider the fact that the Second Coming was supposed to have happened a long-ass time ago. So if Christianity has dropped the ball there, why believe that it has anything accurate to say about undocumented and absurdly unlikely events of yore? Read the rest of this entry »

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Governors who know how to get things done

In this time of economic turmoil and nastier-than-usual political strife, leaders such as Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley, and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer have the right idea. Read the rest of this entry »

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