A Capitol Hill logic problem

The President, Vice President, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority Leader, and a prized lobbyist were gathered together in a secret location for a weekend retreat of raconteuring, fellowship, and shady dealings. The booze flowed freely, and as tongues began to wag, the men discovered that each of them had been involved in a potentially damaging flap on a different day of the previous week (Monday through Friday). Using the clues below, determine which man perpetrated which misdeed and the day on which each malfeasance occurred.
(Feel free to post your solutions as comments. I’ll post a detailed solution with solving steps separately in a couple days. Successful solvers will receive a smiley emoticon; the first person to post the correct solution will receive two.)

1. While shooting a nifty 37 over par, one man passed out piss drunk on the 16th green of the Tournament Players Club at Avenel three days after the lobbyist’s transgression.
2. The Vice President, the man who was overheard making racist remarks in an exclusive topless bar, and the Monday offender cheated their way through the Yale School of Law together back in the day.
3. The Speaker of the House committed his faux pas earlier in the week than the man who paid out a large sum of hush money to a White House aide, who acted earlier in the week than the man who sold classified information to an undercover federal agent posing as a reporter from the Washington Post.
4. The lobbyist wasn’t the man who enjoyed a tryst with a transvestite prostitute boasting a prosthetic leg.
5. The President and the Vice President (who was not in the bribery business) behaved badly on consecutive days, in that order; neither man had ever swung a golf club in his life.
6. The topless bar is closed for disinfecting on Tuesdays.

6 thoughts on “A Capitol Hill logic problem”

  1. Wow, this totally brings me back to that logic-y section on the GRE that (I heard a rumor) no longer exists anymore! I loved that section!
    Good times.

  2. I think I’ve worked it out. I don’t have much confidence in my answers because I’ve been drinking for the last four hours, but here they are:
    1. The President, in addition to being a douche, was at the tittie bar on Thursday.
    2. The Veep, in addition to being a power mad ass, revealed classified info to a Washington Post reporter on Friday.
    3. The Speaker of the House, in addition to being someone I know virtually nothing about including his/her name due to the fact that I’m Canadian and don’t follow US politics as much as I should but is also probably a jackass, was piss drunk on a Wednesday.
    4. The Senate Majority Leader was gettin’ his drills on with a tranny on Monday.
    5. The Lobbyist was paying hush money on a Tuesday.

  3. speaker = prostitute = monday
    lobbyist = hush money = tuesday
    president = racist comment = wednesday
    vp = classified sale = thursday
    senate leader = drunken golf = friday

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