Friday Flower Porn: Tour Group Shocked by Salacious Statuary

Madison WI – Members of the Oconomowoc Happy Hoes Garden Club were outraged during a horticulturally themed tour of the University of Wisconsin campus. When the ladies viewed the UW-Madison Botany Garden near Birge Hall, many gasped and one fainted upon viewing the Essence installation. “I am outraged that state tax payers’ precious funds might be supporting this kind of filth,” said Edna Svendborg, Happy Hoes president, as she was confronted with “The Flower.”
“It’s far too alluring and obviously a terrible influence on the impressionable young students of this sedate conservative campus. You do know what that looks like, don’t you?” Svendborg said.
Mrs. Edwina Maplethwaite was overcome upon viewing “The Seed” and fainted onto the Rudbeckia bed.
After reviving Mrs. Maplethwaite by application of Badgerbrand Brats n’ Beer Aromatherapy smelling salts, paramedic Steve Schultz noted that “The blood must have rushed out of her head to, I dunno, somewhere else.”
Upon viewing “Fruit,” Mrs. Beatrice Hasenfeffer opined, “What is that dang deal?”
Commented Dr. Alice Ellison, associate professor of Horticultural Studies, “Thankfully, the Oconomowoc garden club didn’t make it to the greenhouse to see ‘Big Bucky.'”

3 thoughts on “Friday Flower Porn: Tour Group Shocked by Salacious Statuary”

  1. Yo, yo, yo y’all. You would thank that a club of Hoes would be so down wit da Big Bucky thang. ‘Sup wit dat dog?
    I swear them be-atches be as jammed bad as a DI preacher-man wit another losing court case.

  2. Isn’t it fascinating that the sexual organs of plants in some ways resemble our own? As above, so below. Mirabile dictu!*
    *Latin for “I am repeating a Latin phrase I saw in a book once and due to a similar context thought was sort of appropriate.”

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