Indirect evidence of organisms somewhere along the evolutionary continuum between Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo kerwinium decerebratum has been found at Stop the ACLU, where something calling itself “davef” has, in the course of a dolorous gripe about a Florida court decision, exhibited a number of behavioral similarities to both fully sentient humans and Kerwin Brown.
Like both humans and Kerwin, davef is clearly able to tap out words, phrases, and even full sentences on a keyboard and navigate to selected Web sites using a PC or possibly a Mac. Also like Kerwin, it has the capacity to generate primitive but impassioned opinions on current affairs, possessing just enough reading ability to gain a loose sense of a newspaper article’s content while remaining both intractably ignorant of the background and shy of the mental dexterity required to comment sensibly on such material. It is first and foremost an instinct- and emotion-driven creature, suggesting that, as with Kerwin, its amygdyla and surrounding areas play a grossly exaggerated role in neurological function as compared to H. sapiens, which often relies on its forebrain when making decisions rather than strictly on precortical reptilian or “root-hog” reflexes.
However, davef — while unmistakably less than literate in any meaningful sense — seems more human-like than Kerwin in terms of its willingness to punctuate sentences and otherwise write in ways that clarify its various misbegotten but mostly consistent positions. Though addled to the core, it is able to complete a blog entry without veering wildly into territory marked by rampant paranoia about gay homosexers, cohabitation, the United Nations, and other thematic solecisms interpreted by lower hominids as especially pestilential to any advanced society.
davef’s complaint today — which begins with the quizzical sentence “Yesterday a Florida appeals court ruled in favor of a team who wanted to have an abortion without her parent’s knowledge” — revolves around a Florida appellate court’s ruling that a teenager, now nine weeks pregnant, may seek an abortion without her parents’ knowledge. In Florida, girls under 18 are not nominally not permitted to obtain abortions without parental notification, but may be granted a waiver under certain circumstances. Abortion opponents contend that the ACLU, as part of its covert mission to render humans (and presumably Kerwinians and devefarians) extinct via both the enforced termination of pregnancies and the “murder” of mechanized corpses such as that of Terri Schiavo, has helped girls abuse this legal right by, well, encouraging them to use their legal rights.
Not surprisingly, the site which davef credits as its news source, LifeNews.org, also appears to operated by first-order dullards. In one paragraph, Mr. Steven Ertelt notes that the waiver to bypass parental notificaton “is meant to be a provision that allows teenagers in problematic home situations involving abuse or potential abuse to get abortions without subjecting themselves to a threatening parent.” Two paragraphs later, Mr. Steven Ertelt — after scoffing at the fact that the teenager would prefer at this point to finish high school rather than become an unwilling mother — observes that “Although her parents are pro-life, the teen is not.” Evidently Mr. Steven Ertelt fails to see how his own statements relate to one another and may safely be classified a f*cktard.
Note that it matters not at all to davef and its ilk that there is nothing illegal whatsoever afoot here. The girl appealed to the court system for a waiver and it was granted by a judge, clearing her to seek a “secret” abortion, which will probably not be a “secret” to the girl herself. (Mr. Steven Ertelt seems to lament the fact that the girl’s identity is unknown, barring him from participating in her richly deserved tarring in the press.) In other words, they don’t care that what the girl is doing is legal; they don’t want her to be able to do something they, wedged in their purulent vesicle of broken, faith-based morality, simply do not like. Remember, these are the same whiz kids whose entire mission is to complain (with a wondrous lack of comprehension at each step) about an organization they believe undermines personal freedoms.
Note also that there is a difference between “parental notification” and “parental consent.” This girl can get an abortion whether her parents want her to or not. What f*cknuts like davef and Mr. Steven Ertelt want is for girls to be browbeaten or shamed out of a perfectly legal choice by introducing confict between girls and their parents. This, bear in mind, is the “family values” party, where “family values” in the context of women means “do whatever your parents and husbands say, you stupid cows.”
See, too, this searing blast of verbal flatulence from Ms. Robin Hoffman, president of Florida Right to Life: “I have heard many testimonies of minors who have given birth because of the parental notification law being in effect.” Such statements reinforce the fact that it does not matter one bit to f*cknuts like Mr. Steven Ertelt and Ms. Robin Hoffman what the parental fitness of pregnant teenagers might be (hint: In those seeking abortions, the likely answer is “low to nonexistent”). The goal here is simply to ensure that every pregnancy results in at least one more Floridian, which is suffering from a perenially low rate of population growth.
davef, clearly as fond of witless hyperbole as his STACLU peers, laments that the ruling asserts that “we as parents do not have the right or capability to raise our children.” Certainly parents have a right to participate in the upbringing of their children; to claim that teenagers should be free to operate entirely outside the sphere of parental influence would be farcical. But in the case of a pregnant teenager with pro-life parents who does not want a baby, who wins by preventing the teen from terminating the pregnancy on her own? Who loses if she cannot? These are really not difficult questions. In fact, any “parental notification” law is a dubious half-measure, aimed at placating people on both sides.
This organism, which operates a blog linked in comment #3, also appears to be a transitional species of some sort. I opted not to read its entire contribution, but suspect that it may be what some term “a doozy.”
There is a reason to highlight the opinions of the nominally brain-dead here. Every time you wonder how people like Tom Coburn, Rick Santorum and Jim DeMint become senators, reasonably (and accurately) speculating that no sane person would vote for them, keep Kerwinians and devefarians in mind. These are the critters who vote Republican and feel very good about it no matter what. These are the facultative bipeds who use phrases like “think critically” with a straight face while every irony meter within a 200-mile radius explodes on the heels of this and every utterance they produce. It is important to remember that despite the precariousness of such an arrangement Kerwinians and devefarians alike have the same voting privileges as do intact humans, and that they will unquestionably put these to use on November 7, 2006.