Homosexuality is unnatural, except for one problem…

…it’s everywhere in nature and serves clear and beneficial purposes in communities. In a move that would almost certainly incite protests, lawsuits, and possibly riots in the U.S., the Norwegian Natural History Museum is hosting an exhibition focusing on homosexuality among god’s less favored creatures. Called “Against Nature?”, the exhibition will run for the next six-plus months.
Among the salient points:

  • At least 1,500 animal species practice homosexuality.
  • Defusing violent tendencies via homosexual activity is a major factor in keeping order in groups of numerous herd animals, despite their absence of giveaway “Make Love, Not War!” tie-dye T-shirts.
  • Male lions often strengthen within-pride loyalty by having sex with each other.
  • Dwarf chimpanzees, dolphins, and killer whales — hardly classifiable as neurologically primitive animals — all practice homosexuality.
  • Sea urchins — and you knew this was coming — are not known to engage in homosexual activity.

Put this on the list of kosher-on-the east-side-of-the-Atlantic-only quotes: “Sex among dwarf chimpanzees is in fact the business of the whole family, and the cute little ones often lend a helping hand when they engage in oral sex with each other.” That’s from Petter Boeckman, the exhibition academic advisor. It’s my pleasure to pass along this revelation to whatever minion of Coral Ridge Ministries reads this site after doing Blogger searches with the Caps Lock key depressed.
Adds Boeckman, “there are plenty of animals who will masturbate when they have nothing better to do.” Just wait until they master the art of blogging and learn to conquer boredom and other urges at a single whack.

6 thoughts on “Homosexuality is unnatural, except for one problem…”

  1. it’s everywhere in nature and serves clear and beneficial purposes in communities
    somehow i don’t think the standard charge of ‘panglossian adaptationism’ will be charged by the usual suspects in this case :)

  2. Well, the only thing I see the Right doing is going back to an older argument. Rather than saying it’s “unnatural”, they’ll want us to “resist our natural urges to be the higher creature that God made us to me until we fell”. Giving in to “base, natural urges” is the real sin, so homosexuals are supposed to rise above their temptation to gay sex and get married with women.
    In other words, it won’t change the hatred in these so called “loving” people at all.
    *sigh*

  3. they’ll want us to “resist our natural urges to be the higher creature that God made us to me until we fell”.
    At the ecstatic moment of sexual release or minds are momentarily blank bringing us closer to the divine. Sure I read it in a pulp novel but it works for me and its not really any different than other divine text.

  4. These hedonistic animals are intent on destroying the values that this great nation was built on and it is about time we did something to stop it. I propose longer hunting seasons to encourage them to STOP this self destructive behavior. I would also like to see heavier screening at zoos so these animals have no access to our children. After all, we DO NOT want these sickos recruiting them into their “lifestyle”.

  5. Kinda gives new meaning to a piece of tail.
    Guess it all depends on how far whatever species is willing to travel.

  6. I’ve always understood that a male lion has backward-facing spikes on the penis which in some way assist ovulation, although I’ve never actually seen a lion’s penis close enough to verify this, and never really wanted to. The spikes supposedly provide “stimulation” (not my descriptor) as the male withdraws, making the thought of any “backdoor action” incredibly cringeworthy.

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