If you must masturbate, for God’s sake don’t lust while you do it

This is surreal. I genuinely feel sorry for each and every one of these poor, tricked kids. While it’s easy to get some cheap laughs from reading through this crap, I think life is hard enough for teenagers without them believing ardently that God is going to hate and punish them if they touch their own genitals for the express purpose of self-gratification.

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  1. #1 by Miguel on December 15, 2008 - 4:22 am

    Thou shalt not fondle thy willy.
    Because only the important deities demand “no willy touching”. Sheesh.

  2. #2 by Miguel on December 15, 2008 - 4:22 am

    Thou shalt not fondle thy willy.
    Because only the important deities demand “no willy touching”. Sheesh.

  3. #3 by Rob W on December 15, 2008 - 4:51 am

    Wow. That’s amazingly cringe-worthy reading.
    Anyone read this far?

    masturbation and lust go together like penutbutter and jelly. Its a sin. I too dont think its possible not to lust while mb’ing. Besides would you do it if jesus was standing right there. I hope not.

    Response 1: for God’s sake, don’t spell it “penut” — you’re already comparing it to masturbation, and “jelly” already has multiple meanings.
    Response 2: News at 11: local man hospitalized in agony after weeks of refusing to defecate. “Jesus… standing right there… won’t give me a second’s privacy….”

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