The myth of climate change: some specifics

…and if you disagree, feel free to say so.
The cold that has gripped much of the country gives the lie to global warming.
It is a little-known fact that in the vicinity of the Great Lakes, average February temperatures tend to be cooler than average December temperatures; only those raised in the Midwest are qualified to discuss the matter.
Al Gore, the members of the International Panel on Climate Change, and an agenda-driven liberal mainstream media have conspired to convince the public that global warming implies “a disastrous roasting.” Furthermore, this “indoctrination” has left people unprepared for cold weather; apparently, everyone who hears the words “climate change” gives all of his or her winter gear to Goodwill and the like.
It is well known that scientists prefer the term “climate change” to “global warming” because local effects–particularly at high latitudes–can in fact involve cooling (e.g., as with noctilucent clouds over Alaska). Nevertheless, only idiots would claim that climate change, examined globally, could simultaneously involve both warming and cooling; the complexities of the incompetent liberal mind are inscrutable.
The earth hasn’t had any warming in the past 10 years. Therefore, all talk of a warming trend over longer periods is inane.
The earth is now entering a cooling trend known as a Minimum. As things continue to cool, those who have bought into the warming myth–most of whom attribute this fiction to incandescent light bulbs–are going to be mighty surprised.
Barack Obama is unique responsible for how cold it is in Chicago, because he has the nerve to vacation in Hawaii. In fact, because the economy sucks thanks to the past eight years of unquestionably liberal policies, Obama has no right to even take a vacation. Man of the people, my ass.
And finally, speaking of Obama, those of you who never voted before this year had no right to vote, especially those who are ghetto-dwellers. ACORN was a scandalous operation that cost the more worthy candidate the win.

I’m just passing along what I read somewhere. Some of you will guess exactly where.

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  1. #1 by Barry on December 22, 2008 - 10:52 pm

    Is it a White House press release?

  2. #2 by george.w on December 22, 2008 - 11:15 pm

    They like goofy analogies so here’s one: if you put ice cubes in a glass of water, what happens to the temperature of the water as the ice warms and melts?
    Obviously, the transition of the glass of ice water could not involve a period of simultaneous warming and cooling, could it? That would be liberal idiocy.

  3. #3 by mgordon on December 23, 2008 - 12:56 am

    Smells like gribbit.

  4. #4 by Tim Lambert on December 23, 2008 - 1:54 am

    Sounds like Mark V. Shaney.

  5. #5 by Mark V Shaney on December 23, 2008 - 2:05 am

    It looks like Tim Lambert is going to say? Ummm… Oh yes, I was looking for. I’m so glad I remembered it. Yeah, what I have wondered if I had committed a crime. Don’t eat with your assessment of Gribbit and Blago. Up your nose with a guy from a firm that specifically researches the teen-age market. As a friend of mine would say, “It really doesn’t matter”… It looks like Lambert is holding back the arms of the American eating public have changed dramatically, and it got pretty boring after about 300 games.
    People, having a much larger number of varieties, and are very different from what one can find in Chinatowns across the country (things like pork buns, steamed dumplings, etc.) They can be cheap, being sold for around 30 to 75 cents apiece (depending on size), are generally not greasy, can be adequately explained by stupidity. Singles have felt insecure since we came down from the Conservative world at large. But Chuqui is the way it happened and the prices are VERY reasonable.
    Can anyone think of myself as a third sex. Yes, I am expected to have. People often get used to me knowing these things and then a cover is placed over all of them. Along the side of the $$ are spent by (or at least for ) the girls. You can’t settle the issue. It seems I’ve forgotten what it is, but I don’t. I know about violence against women, and I really doubt they will ever join together into a large number of jokes. It showed Adam, just after being created. He has a modem and an autodial routine. He calls my number 1440 times a day. So I will conclude by saying that I can well understand that she might soon have the time, it makes sense, again, to get the gist of my argument, I was in that (though it’s a Republican administration).
    _-_-_-_-Mark

  6. #6 by The Rev. Bob Dobbs on December 23, 2008 - 2:09 am

    I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my nose! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I’ve been casting out the False Prohets; I’m busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a loaf! For I speak only the fucking Truth, and never in my days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, `Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke!’ By God, `Anything for a laugh’, I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I’ll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the first god damn water! Yes, I’m the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the Devil under seven tables, I am too intense to die, I’m insured for acts o’ God and Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I cannot be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear no god damn uniform! Yes baby, I’m 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o’ teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash! I’m a bacteriological weapon, I armed and loaded! I’m a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug me in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, come and get me! I’ve sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and eat my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I’m the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil’s hands are my ideal playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think backwards! I do it for fun! My imagination is a fucking cancer and I’ll pork it before it porks me! The say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well by God! I count to a godzillion and one! Yes, I’m the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I’m thicker, harder and meaner than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I’ll freeze your seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made Time wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my spoor on the Rock of Ages, who’ll tear flesh with me, who’ll spill their juice? Who’ll gouge with me, whose candle will I fart out? Whoop! I’m ready! So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o’ wimp meat! I’m a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I’m a screamer and a laugher, I make a spectacle of myself, I am a sight! My physical type cannot be classified by science, my `familiar’ is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits! I communicate without wires or strings! I am a Thuggee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the Bermuda Triangle and didn’t get wet! I circumcize dinosaurs with my teeth and make ’em leave a tip; I change tires with my tongue and my tool! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the Sun! I’m the bigfooted devil of Level 14, who’ll try to blow me down? I’ve packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the mass of my religion, I take drugs! Yes, I’m a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they’re picked off the tree! Space monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the Pyramides off my shoes before I enter my house. I’m fuel-injected, I’ll live forever and remember it afterwords! I’m immune! I’m radioactive! Come on and give me cancer, I’ll spit up the tumor and butter my bread with the juice! I’m supernatural, I bend crowbars with my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt volcanoes in China! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen Hindoos in Asia! YEEE HAW! Gut Blowout! I am a Moray Eel, I am a Komodo Dragon, I am the Killer Whale bereft of its pup! I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me all your Slack! I told Jesus I wouldn’t go to church and He shook my hand! I have my own personal saviors, I change ’em every hour, I don’t give a fuck if there’s life after death, I want to know if there’s even any fucking Slack after death! I am a god damn visionary, I see the future and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat black holes for breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty will! I steer my own god damn evolution! I ran ’em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a profit! I’m enlightened, I achieved `Nirvana’ and took it home with me. Yip, yip, YEEEEEEE! I’m so ugly the Speed of Light can’t slow me down and Gravity won’t tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I’ll make ’em wait! They’ll never clean my cage! Now give me some more of…

  7. #7 by douglas on December 23, 2008 - 7:57 am

    oh my god. nothing here makes sense.
    “only idiots would claim that climate change, examined globally, could simultaneously involve both warming and cooling.” climate change does exactly that, depending on the location, altitute, latitude, proximity to oceans, behavior of the sun, milankovitch cycles, etc. obviously they know nothing about the complex interactions between meteorology, geology, hydrology….
    then they have the audacity to pretend they know something by explaning “The earth is now entering a cooling trend known as a Minimum,” an explanation one could only make after studying the above.
    “Barack Obama is unique responsible for how cold it is in Chicago, because he has the nerve to vacation in Hawaii. In fact, because the economy sucks thanks to the past eight years of unquestionably liberal policies” what does that even mean? obama’s making it cold? and returning to a state in which one lived an amount of time is an unwarranted vacation? and which policies of the past 8 years were at all liberal, “unquestionably”?
    and most frighteningly(i think?):
    “And finally, speaking of Obama, those of you who never voted before this year had no right to vote, especially those who are ghetto-dwellers” why would a track record of not voting have any impact on a US citizen’s right to vote in any upcoming elections on which they have an opinion?! thats why our republic has been created- for those to vote in support of their opinions in their community when they feel it is necessary!

  8. #8 by Kevin Beck on December 23, 2008 - 5:23 pm

    “Smells like gribbit.”
    We have a winner!

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