In which I confirm a trivially accurate hypothesis

Over two years ago, shortly after the midterm elections that saw Democrats gain control of both houses of Congress, I concluded a post on the Refuge with this observation:

But I’m not surprised at the ramping up of the craterhead factor on the nutball blogs. These whirling shitbirds were already outraged when the Republicans controlled every branch of government, and it was clear that when the Democrats took over both houses that their only choice was to somehow elevate an already deafening level of pointless noise and hollowly bitter complaints. The dark of mind are nothing if not predictable, and each of these folks has done exactly as expected. May they all crash their ATVs into mobile gun-and-Bible shops on their way to anti-gay rallies held at all-you-can-gorge pork-rind buffets, and in the process forget their blogger passwords and lose their voter registration cards.

In February, I stated more explicitly (and no more charitably) that given the volume of complaining and conspiracy-mongering being perpetrated on winger-blogs during an administration more friendly to anti-science, anti-reason purposes than any in recent history, if not ever, it would be interesting–though ghastly–to see what would happen if a Democrat grabbed control of the presidency in 2009:

[T]he wingers are going to be making even more noise than usual for the next bunch of months (and, should a Democrat become president, for at least the next four years). They’re never happy and never will be, but they are always capable of plumbing new depths of bellyaching and reactionary stupidity. Democrats nominally if not functionally control both houses of Congress, and right now, it is virtually assured that the nation’s next leader will be either a liberal masquerading as a Republican, an uppity bitch, or a Negro.
I’m not sure what would satisfy the wingers completely other than a complete dissolution of the Democratic Party. I’m not kidding. There are more than a few people who, if they could push a button and have their wishes magically forced into policy, would eliminate liberals, the ACLU, the United Nations, New York City, California, Massachusetts, homosexuals, Mexicans (and Mexico), most blacks, atheists (actually, all non-Christians), pro-choicers, climate scientists who agree with consensus views on global warming, anyone who agrees with the theory of evolution, most people with graduate degrees, liberal blogs and media outlets, and anyone whose attitude toward guns and weapons is not strictly in line with that of Elmer Fudd, Marvin the Martian, or both.
These same people, who cannot appreciate or even envision modes of thinking outside their own, naturally tend toward paranoia and reckon that most liberals would, if given the same kind of button, not only eliminate religion and churches and guns, but hand America over to the highest bidder from among a suicidally demonic conglomerate including Al Queda, Mexico, Planned Parenthood, the Freedom from Religion Foundation, Venezuela, San Francisco, and a few others. They’ll tell you flat-out that groups like the ACLU are not merely out to serve selfish interests, but bent on literally destroying America, ideally using the tools of communism. I’m not kidding.

My mild pessimism about the Democratic nominee’s chances against McCain proved unfounded, but everything else has played out as anticipated. But it admittedly did not take a lot of insight or strong powers of prognostication to see that these off-kilter human sieves would somehow manage to ramp up their fever-pitch babbling about the roundly anti-American evils of communist atheist liberals a heretofore unexplored levels, blissfully ignoring the fact that whoever took charge this year would inherit a colossal mess and assigning blame to the Dems long before the incoming president even had a chance to succeed or fail.
This, of course, was before I knew that an undiluted moron, basically a wind-up doll, would be selected as the Republican candidate’s running mate, or that the Democratic nominee and eventual winner of the election would be an African-American with a middle name nutters could seize on as their version of evidence that he, like most liberals, had terrorist ties and sympathies and would serve as a puppet for the ACLU as a means of selling out the nation as a whole, if not simply incinerating it outright for the pure joy of smelling the charred flesh of three hundred million people. I am not sure if I am exaggerating here.
So I am trying to keep this long-understood reality in mind and in perspective as I observe, with due distaste, the surreal quantity of flagrantly uninformed sniping, bitching, swapping of lies, and hate-mongering coming from the more unhinged Republican voters out there. I have numerous friends who used to vote Republican as a matter of course, and a lower number who did so in November; I can barely imagine what they must think when considering this noise, if anything. I’m sure if I looked a little harder I’d find a fair number of crazed loudmouths identifying with liberal causes, but somehow I gravitate more efficiently to little-known blogs maintained by functional illiterates with zero grasp of science and the scientific process and no interest in understanding their own deficits, much less ameliorating them.
I love the smell of democracy in the wake of an election, any election. Now if I can find a way to do all of my business traditionally conducted in public–grocery shopping, trips to the bank, and so on–from the privacy of my home so that I don’t have to consider whether those in line around me are clinically or functionally insane, I’ll be all set.

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  1. #1 by JimFiore on January 5, 2009 - 9:50 am

    It’s not just the crazed, small-blog yappers on the right who get things very wrong in the field of politics; it’s the big names as well. Consider that about two years ago Bill Kristol (he of The Weekly Standard and neocon Project for the New American Century) proclaimed that no one in the Democratic Party had a chance against Hillary.
    And I’m being kind here. After all, Project for the New American Century has pretty much defined the concepts of both a failed hypothesis and a failed execution. They couldn’t have gotten it more wrong if they called a grape an aircraft carrier and tried to land planes on one in the middle of the Pacific.

  2. #2 by Michael Render on January 5, 2009 - 10:27 am

    My wife plays a game where she reads the comments on news stories and sees how soon they mention Obama or the liberal agenda. It is amazing how fast the unwashed masses turn into a group of ill-informed hate-mongers.

  3. #3 by The Ridger on January 5, 2009 - 11:21 am

    Bank on line, have your groceries delivered … it’s what I do (though, granted, that’s because I don’t drive)

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