No bite to be found, but whose bark is most feeble?

For me, watching the inauguration carried not so much the air of pomp and celebration but the weight of a stunning reality: America recently elected Barack Obama to the highest office in the land, and he is now not someone waiting in the wings, but the president. I was also struck by the fact that despite the wide variation in people’s individual political leanings, Obama is seemingly impossible to truly dislike as a human being, as a leader. I voted for him in November, but I was also consciously voting against the appalling idea that someone as cerebrospastic as Sarah Palin could play any role at all in a presidential administration. But I was reminded today Obama’s presence and command of himself and his audience is stunning given his relative youth and inexperience.
Of course, it is this presence that has his blind and throaty detractors claiming that Obama is nothing but presence, and that his rhetoric is ominously reminiscent of (natch) Adolf Hitler. I can see their point; both men, after all, gave speeches to large numbers of people.
That brings me to a nod of appreciation toward a couple of terminally addled and agitated bloggers whose reliably inept contributions to the Web’s ignorance quotient today put the cherry on top of ushering out eight years of thumb-sucking pandering to America’s sprawling, noisy Moron Belt and ushering in someone whose intentions are exactly what people–some of them grudgingly–hope to see in a president. Rather than accept the reality of a new and inspired leadership, this pair of mush-mouthed and failed rhetoricians simply sank even deeper into the wingnut shitbog, letting fly with some gloriously incompetent gems.

I ask you to choose the more laughable of two posts: This one by “Big Dog,” and this one by “Gribbit.” These guys, rather than simply piping down for a day and delaying–however fleetingly–further self-embarrassment, went for the Full Monty of naked stupidity as Bush began his own undignified exit from the White House.
First, from Big Dog:

Obama could not have won without a significant numer of whites voting for him … This country was founded by whites and whites freed slaves.

The completion of this hapless and predictable syllogism, of course, is “Ergo, racism is a thing of the past.”

[Democrats] are the ones who have done the most harm to people of color. I might also point out that everyone in this country has an equal chance and people of color have a more equal chance because of affirmative action.

Remember: This person is not just a nameless, cowardly blogger, he (presumably) has voting privileges and isn’t afraid to use them.

[The homos were all worried about Warren? Get real, he did not say anything that insulted anyone (I did not hear him but if he had it would be all over the news).

Sure, the homos and everyone else should just take your word for it.
And of course no “Big Dog” coda would be complete without a remarkably vulgar display of raging irony:

The second thing that was offensive was the way the moonbats treated President Bush. This was his last day in office and they could not let him transfer power and leave. They were singing nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey goodbye. They were being nasty to him and treating him terribly in front of his family and in front of the world. I was hoping that the moonbats would have enough decency to behave and show some civility on his last day. I know that I expected too much. I have seen how these morons acted for the past 8 years and today was nothing different. I imagine there would have been a riot if Bush supporters had heckled Obama. Maybe we need a few good old fashioned riots to alleviate some tension.
Well, to hell with them. They talk of working together and making nice. SCREW them. It is time they get a bit of their own medicine. Turn about is fair play and I am in no mood to be nice.
What we need is open season on liberals with no bag limit.

However, whereas Big Dog’s ferociously canted yapping was windy and all over the place, Gribbit’s yipping was brief and focused:

A simple post about a simple man.
Today begins the reign of THE most Pompous, Arrogant, Elitist, Ideotarian since Adolf Hitler got himself elected Chancellor of Germany in 1932. And we all know how THAT turned out.
‘Yes We Can’ is the ‘Seig Heil’ of the Obama Infestation.
Just think, we will be done with him in a very short 1095 days.

Apparently, in whatever alternate universe this prognathous pundit inhabits, either a presidential term is only three years or a year is only about nine months long. With the Hitler reference and the typical wingstruck maths, this entry, despite its brevity, gives “Big Dog’s” a serious run for his Alpo.
These guys may not be housebroken, but they’re obviously heartbroken, and it’s rendered some already abominable analysis even more putrid. If this kind of delectable trash is what’s to be expected of crapbloggers now that their worst nightmare is upon them, I–though like everyone much more intent on seeing how Obama and Co. will approach the perhaps unprecedented social and economic front-loaded wreckage that is now their bailiwick–will count this as a fringe benefit.

10 thoughts on “No bite to be found, but whose bark is most feeble?”

  1. Gribbit, Big Dog why do you now hate this country and her people so much? Since 9-11 we’ve been told again and again that disparaging the president and his policies is disparaging the troops weakening their ability to keep us safe. When you equate President Obama with Hitler you are really calling the brave men and women who defend us the SS.

  2. What’s the deal with the bulldogs anyway? Do these guys suffer from severe underbite and poor dental health? Do they drool excessively? Do they enjoy wearing spikey leather collars? All of the above?
    Also, when I look at the jowls of Gribbit’s bulldog I cannot help but be reminded of a scrotum. I guess it brings new meaning to the term “dick face”.

  3. Err, Hitler was elected. He became Chancellor through the correct procedures as specified in the constitution.
    Admittedly, he became dictator through violence (real and implied) and through the weaknesses of the constitution. He was however elected, although not by a majority of the electorate, or even those who voted. In principle, the Weimar Constitution was valid for the whole of the Nazi regime and he acted within it (under its emergency powers).
    Remember that Clinton wasn’t elected by a majority either. He was the good guy though. I don’t want to get into the election of Bush.

  4. Well, lacking the resolve to either remark on my criticism of him here or allow comments to his posts, Gribbit has begun addressing me more or less regularly in his entries, and has done so again:
    >blockquote>Take note Kevin the Chimp – I know you’ve been watching and sending your 13 readers to me…
    The man clearly has size issues, as over the years one of his trademarks has been to constantly refer to the supposedly small readerships of the blogs that “attack” him. His comment about the number of readers of this blog is interesting in light of the fact that Gribbit has a visible hot counter on his site, and that the total number of visitors he’s attracted in the past two years doesn’t even come close to the number who hit the Chimp Refuge in December.
    Granted, a high hit count no more assures credibility than the high sales total of a shitty romance novel makes Judith Krantz a better novelist than Cormac McCarthy, but Gribbit seems to think it does. Welcome to reality, my man.
    And on the matter of numbers, Gribbit apparently remains secure in his belief that four years equals 1,095 days, a position he has reiterated in his Twitter gurglestream (thanks a LOT, mg).

  5. They were singing nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey goodbye.

    What the hell were they supposed to be chanting for the fuckfacer whose popularity stands at 22%… 4 more years?

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