What’s next for Blago?

So the Illinois Senate just voted to wash the state’s hands of its cartoon character of a governor by a vote of 59-0.
I like the fact that once the tally had reached 40-0, thus establishing the two-thirds majority required for impeachment, the process continued in order to get everyone’s vote on record. This was akin to running up the score in a sporting event. Unlike the situation involving The Covenant School of Dallas, this clean sweep was hilarious.
It’s clear that by the time today’s proceedings rolled around, even any hypothetical senators who believed Blagojevich to be innocent of criminal wrongdoing had to recognize that the man is gloriously, unapologetically unhinged. Grandiosity, quoting of famous and notorious historical figures, affability, supreme and unfounded confidence–these things all suggest that Blago may well come to next week scratching his head, honestly confused as to why he is no longer an office holder.
Anyway, what comes next? The options, as I see them:


A) Criminal trial and suspended prison time
B) Criminal trial and imprisonment
C) Caricature of his appearance on The View in an SNL skit this weekend (I’d bet on this)
D) Hosting SNL
E) Writing his memoirs
F) Writing a how-to book for aspiring politicians
G) Entering the Chicago Marathon
H) Entering the Chicago Marathon with stated intentions of breaking the world record
I) Becoming Sarah Palin’s press adviser
J) Many of the above
Feel free, of course, to add your own.

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  1. #1 by The Science Pundit on January 29, 2009 - 7:11 pm

    E-a) His memoirs will be titled If I had tried to sell Barack’s Senate seat.
    K) Arrested in prostitition sting (since he’s a Democrat, there’s only a 10% chance that it will be with a gay prostitute–it would be 80% if he were Republican).
    L) Infomercials for hair products/how-to book referenced in (F)/diet scams schemes?etc.

  2. #2 by Bill from Dover on January 29, 2009 - 8:08 pm

    Ambassador to Bedrock.

  3. #3 by Barn Owl on January 29, 2009 - 9:56 pm

    M) Rod Blagojevich as Jerry Mathers as the Beaver
    N) Narcissistic Personality Disorder officially renamed Blagojevichtic Personality Disorder

  4. #4 by Barn Owl on January 29, 2009 - 9:56 pm

    M) Rod Blagojevich as Jerry Mathers as the Beaver
    N) Narcissistic Personality Disorder officially renamed Blagojevichtic Personality Disorder

  5. #5 by Julie on January 30, 2009 - 8:24 am

    O) Film deal for a Blago biopic to be directed by persecution auteur Mel Gibson.

  6. #6 by Rev. BigDumbChimp on January 30, 2009 - 8:53 am

    I worried that this impeachment and removal has angered his hair.
    It’s a terrifying prospect, his hair now angered set loose on the world.

  7. #7 by blf on January 31, 2009 - 5:04 am

    CXXVI (or whatever the list is up to now): He’ll claim the entire Senate is comprised of doppelgängers, who are really alien lizardmen installed by the same team of crack UN super-dooper ninjas with black helicopters who blew up the twin towers in NYC, and refuse to leave.
    CXXVII: That will so infuriate the real alien lizardmen, ninjas, and al-Qaeda that they all leave Earth and return to their home planets, leaving behind a mysterious message: “So long, and thanks for all the fish!” Mysterious because the dolphins, whales, and other marine mammals did not leave the planet. Unfortunately, ex-Governor Bombast also did not leave the planet.

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