World’s religions vying for loser’s attention

It’s true–I saw it on the Internet!

Owen Pritchard’s recent downward spiral into drug addiction, unemployment, and complete and utter hopelessness has sparked the intense interest of several top world religions, each of which is vying for his services as a devotee, the 39-year-old uncommitted prospective convert reported Monday.
“I’ve finally reached a point in my life where all the big religions want me,” said Pritchard, whose two failed marriages and mounting gambling debts have left him penniless and in a state of blind despair. “Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism–you name it, they’ve come to me. I have no job, no family, no direction whatsoever. So right now, I’m totally in the driver’s seat.”

I wish I could remember to read this publication every week rather than devote time to maddening myself through exposure to crap from the AFA and similar entities.
(Thanks, Brian)

2 thoughts on “World’s religions vying for loser’s attention”

  1. Come now. You know the AFA is the real thing, and The Onion is just a lame imitation.

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