Would Google survive in a world of eunuchs?

Here are some of the search terms that have landed people here just in the past 20 hours or so, in order:
porn purple
italian scientist’s penis discovery
porn cold
s & m toys
girth matters
sex with animals
sex with animals
sex at 75
check porn
what makes it difficult to not have sex?
penis extenders
large breasts
penis demographic race (OK, maybe this one is just out of academic curiosity)
having sex with animals
sexwithanimals
enzyte ad
south african porn
sex with animals
www sex animals
large breast
interspecies porn
bikini waking the bung hole
large breasts
large breasts
masturbating for the sake of it
sex with animals
sex with animals
african porn
survey % of girls that “would have sex for money”
hip porn
does girth matter?
penis fits he anus
phucking
animals for sex
extenze girl
pornpump
sexwithanimals
south african porn
south african porn
south african porn
how to masturbate without lust
sex with animals
sexing porn
porncold
sex (just that, and they wound up here?)
adults only
are men more sexually active than women?
“he came on my face”
sex with animals
transvesite christian
sexwithanimals
adults only
large breasts
penis extender day by day blogs
hot or not and sex
chimpanzee erections
free south african porn sites
penis extender problems
sex withe animals
pornpump
photos of chimp vagina
large breasts
africa porn
In the end, it was a fairly close race between “sex with animals” (including people in too much of a hurry to include spaces between the words) and “large breasts.” But I think the zoophilia crowd won out.
I also suspect there was a newsworthy event within the past few hours involving a New Jersey woman and a bikini wax gone badly wrong.
I think that just for the sake of a test, I’m going to slap together the most stank piece of erotica I can come up with and post it here just to see what happens in the ensuing days. I can understand why this place is a bit of a draw for “sex with animals” searchers, what with having just posted this, but the point is the number of people who are actually looking. How many hits do the real porn sites get? And do I perform these kinds of searches without actually knowing it? Finally, how long will it take for one of you dear devoted readers to Google “Kevin Beck sex with animals” just to add to the fun and games?

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  1. #1 by Dave C on March 19, 2009 - 3:16 pm

    Seeing as how humanity wouldn’t survive in a world of eunuchs, I doubt Google would either. :)

  2. #2 by BGT on March 19, 2009 - 3:25 pm

    Well, the newsworthy NJ thing would be that they are discussing outlawing Brazilian waxing. Evidently a lady had one, and it went wrong, resulting in an infection, and is suing the waxer…..

  3. #3 by Kevin Beck on March 19, 2009 - 3:53 pm

    Really. Well, one time I was plastered in Parsippany, New Jersey, and when I took my inevitable tumble, I bit my tongue so hard the swelling made it impossible for me to talk for several days. I think the Garden State needs to outlaw liquor! Oh, wait–do I need to sue somebody first?

  4. #4 by Kevin Beck on March 19, 2009 - 3:53 pm

    Really. Well, one time I was plastered in Parsippany, New Jersey, and when I took my inevitable tumble, I bit my tongue so hard the swelling made it impossible for me to talk for several days. I think the Garden State needs to outlaw liquor! Oh, wait–do I need to sue somebody first?

  5. #5 by John on March 19, 2009 - 3:58 pm

    If they outlaw liquor, I’ll happily help them dispose of what they have on hand.

  6. #6 by Julie on March 19, 2009 - 6:57 pm

    This is my favorite: “masturbating for the sake of it”
    It’s so practical, like something my Depression-era grandmother would have sternly advocated.

  7. #7 by Kevin Beck on March 19, 2009 - 7:10 pm

    Well, during the Depression, jobs were unusually scarce, money was short, stress levels were therefore high, and people had lots of free time. I can’t imagine a more fertile scenario for pragmatic masturbation, and thank goodness times have changed.
    Then there’s “how to masturbate without lust.” I would bet my life that a young conflicted Christian was behind that one. Here’s the evidence.

  8. #8 by Norm Olsen on March 20, 2009 - 12:04 am

    The “photos of chimp vagina” search was me. Purely out of clinical interest, I can assure you, and not at all related to the many freaks who Googled “sex with animals”.

  9. #9 by Kilian Hekhuis on March 20, 2009 - 5:37 am

    @Norm: couldn’t you better have used more clinical terms (e.g. ‘female chimpanzee genitalia’ or something)?

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