Obama, Oprah, “worm-reptile-monkey people,” and Texas textbooks

There’s a connection, believe me.
As reported last week by the Texas Freedom Network–an organization that truly has a task before it that makes the travails of Job look like a game of mini-golf–Texas State Board of Education chair Don McLeroy (no stranger to this blog) offered a ringing endorsement of a self-published anti-evolution book by Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr. No surprise there. You can read excerpts from the book in the TFN post, which in turn links to a full-text online version.
But if you really want to spend a few hours reading some fifth-degree, superconcentrated crazy, check out what Johnson wrote on his blog last summer when agitating against Barack Obama’s ultimately failed campaign for president of the U.S. This is a very long screed, divided into chapters, and every last bit of it is jarring even by creationist standards, perhaps because Johnson has a certain facility with words. I’m going to paste a paragraph chosen completely at random after giving the touch pad of my laptop a flick of the thumb and seeing where the scroll bar parks itself. Okay, here we go:

In this chapter, we go into detail about how the NAS writers smear the lipstick of liberal, apostate Christendom all over their atheist hog, seducing millions of church-goers in the process. The seduction works like this:
Evolution comes to the door of a Christian church. Knock! Knock! The pastor answers the door.
EVOLUTION: Hello, Pastor. I’m Evolution. May I come in?
PASTOR: I don’t think so. You kind of frighten me.
EVOLUTION: No need to be frightened, Pastor. Science approves of me.
PASTOR: Well, in that case, you can come in. But wait, Atheism isn’t with you, is he?
EVOLUTION: Oh no, Pastor, I wouldn’t associate with Atheism.
PASTOR: Fine, then. Come on in. We’re happy to have you. I’m teaching today on the serpent as a symbol of evil, and of Satan, the Adversary.
EVOLUTION: I’m sorry, Pastor, but that won’t do. We’re all descended from serpents through chance and natural selection. No one life form is any more special than any other. Blaming the serpent is not politically correct.
PASTOR: Are you sure Atheism didn’t sneak in here with you?
EVOLUTION: Oh no, Pastor. Atheism is nowhere around here. I wouldn’t lie to you.
PASTOR: Well then, I’m going to teach on the truth of Noah with his ark saving humanity through the Flood.
EVOLUTION: No, Pastor, you can’t do that. I’d be a mess if there had been such a Flood. It didn’t happen. Stories like that are all metaphors. They mean anything you want them to mean. Trust your own mind. That’s how you tell what’s true and what’s false.
PASTOR: You know, Evolution, you said Atheism isn’t with you, but you haven’t said how God fits into your ideas.

Oh, wait; Obama won. See, I need to stay away from these sites. But I won’t, because after I do some work and go running, I’m going to come back to this mess and look for a favorite. That won’t be easy.
And remember: The chair of the board of education in a state with over 20 million people thinks this man has useful things to say to schoolchildren.
I wonder if Wilkins would give me an exception on this one. And I’m talking about McLeroy, not Johnson. The latter is too crazy to be called an idiot.

3 thoughts on “Obama, Oprah, “worm-reptile-monkey people,” and Texas textbooks”

  1. At some point we’re going to start to feel bad for making fun of these people. They’re obviously mentally ill.
    In the deep south, it isn’t done to laugh at people that have serious issues. Apparently we vote them into positions of power instead.

Comments are closed.