Being a female sucks

Just passing on what I read on a general message board I’ve been wasting too much time on lately. You really need to read it, but I have no idea how long it’ll get, so I’ll extract the salient points here.

The thing starts with a poster discouraged because her being premenstrual has stalled her weight loss. OK, upsetting, but nothing eyebrow-raising about it. The thread evolves into a general, shared complaint about the various woes of menstrual periods, and someone chimes in to mention that she “ruined some sheets last night.” I never thought about it, and have never been privy to such an event, but now that I think about it, such episodes of leakage would seem commonplace. Others chime in to note similar experiences. Something called a “menstrual hut” is mentioned, and the suggestion to purchase red sheets is made.

It gets weirder. Some asks, “I’ve always wondered how rapists react if someone’s using a tampon.” One response:”Well in college my friend had sex and she forgot she had tampon in. You can fit a lot of stuff up there.” (This resulted in a trip to the emergency room.) Then, more gore: “While sleeping in my 13 year old son’s bed last month while he was at his dad’s, my body decided to unexpectedly gush blood all over his sheets, mattress pad and his carpet as I ran to the bathroom. When I returned to the room, I even found some on his pillows.”

Then, someone mentions having managed to insert a tampon and forget about it for weeks. Eventually the stench became overpowering (rampant bacterial vaginosis will do that) and triggered her to go to a clinic, where the doctor was aghast (yet probably impressed). Turns out that this is not especially rare.

I couldn’t help by add my probably unwelcome two cents. All I can say is that I thought “swamp balls” could be rank, but there’s no way men can compete with what goes un with the beleaguered fairer sex when problems occur. Anyone who can ably explain menstruation in the context of intelligent design needs to step up to the damned plate.

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  1. #1 by Suesquatch on June 10, 2009 - 10:25 pm

    “Anyone who can ably explain menstruation in the context of intelligent design needs to step up to the damned plate.”

    Nah. Explain what nimrod thought up wrapping an organ prone to hypertrophy around the male’s urethra.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

  2. #2 by monado on June 10, 2009 - 11:34 pm

    Actually, “incontinence pads” are a big help–better than towels.

    I once saw a man interviewed who had been a woman and changed sexes with the help of hormone treatments. He said he’d rather shave every day than menstruate every month.

    Consider that about 1/4 of the women you meet are menstruating at any given time. Before soap, water, and tampons, women stank worse than men.

    Dark brown is better than red.

  3. #3 by catgirl on June 12, 2009 - 12:07 pm

    I guess I’m lucky because I have no problems with my menstruation. I don’t get PMS or a heavy flow, and the onset is predictable to within a few hours. I haven’t had any leaks since I was 14. I occasionally have cramps, but it happens less often than the cramps I get from eating at Taco Bell. Mine lasts 3-4 days and runs so smoothly I usually forget that I even have it. I guess it’s worse for other women.

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