You shouldn’t drink Coca-Cola

Not because it will rot your teeth or make you fat, but because of this disconcerting arrangement:

When you visit Noah’s Cafe you will notice that our deck is adorned with colorful bright red umbrellas courtesy of our Coke corporate partners.

The Creation Museum and Coke have been partners officially since April even though Coke has been on site for years.

Bunch of fucking whores. I can’t blame corporations for following the money, especially in this economy, but I didn’t have to like or personally support it.

Interestingly, I was thinking about this earlier today when I was on my way to the store for something calorie-free and fizzy (I have something of an addiction to carbonated drinks), and when I reached the convenience store I saw a Pepsi sedan in the parking lot. When I went inside and started perusing the limited selection of two-liters piled up on a series of plastic pallets in typical mini-market fashion), I saw lots of Diet Coke, but no Diet Pepsi. “Screw it, one last time,” I muttered, and started reaching for a bottle on the second pallet from the top. As I tried to extract it, the Pepsi guy materialized and said, in a friendly way, “Hey, there’s actually some Diet Coke on top, on the other side.” After a pause, he grinned and said, “Of course, you could always get Pepsi instead.” He then pointed at a bunch of two-liters I hadn’t seen in the next aisle.

I then thanked him and told him I had valid reasons for choosing Pepsi products over Coke products from that day forward, and told him about the Creation Museum-Coke arrangement. For all I know he was a creatonist, but that’s not likely around here, and e probably had no idea what “Creation Museum” even implied.

I was tempted to chalk this exchange up to happenstance–after all, there are soda reps in convenience stores as often as not–but then I had to admit that Satan must have put the Pepsi guy there when he did just to ensure I didn’t cave and support Bible-based bullshit, however indirectly.

Coca-Cola makes a formidable array of products. You can peruse the list in the drop-down menu here.

5 thoughts on “You shouldn’t drink Coca-Cola”

  1. This doesn’t mean, I think, that Coke endorses creationism. It just means that the Creation Museum decided to save some money by going to a single supplier, and Coke won the bid. It could just as easily have been Pepsi.

    The statement by the museum, though, demonstrates once again how these people are more than eager to stretch the truth.

  2. Hey, I wish they only “stretched the truth”. These folks are shameless liars, blithering idiots or both. I mean really now, the giant dagger-like teeth of the T-Rex were intended for opening coconuts? They might as well suggest that the belly button is, in fact, an emergency relief valve in case you drink too much soda.

  3. Actually, the president – or CEO – of Coca Cola is a Christian who has deliberately made Coke’s corporate headquarters (in Atlanta, I think) a “faith-friendly” workplace. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he deliberately sought a partnership with the Creation Museum.

  4. Just when I was about to credit Gingerbaker with a very plausible theory (which it remains), along comes the chaplain with an interesting piece of info. Makes you wonder.

  5. Chaplain;
    I think you might be confusing Coca-Cola with the Coca-Cola Bottling Company ?
    I don’t see either Neville Isdell (recently retired CEO) or Muhtar Kent (current CEO) as God-botherers; if they were it would be part of their “business philosophy” and there are multiple interviews with both of them available. If they were into religion in a big way they would have used these interviews to praise God for something-or-other, and I can’t find either of them ever doing that.
    If it were a bigger corporate decision and Coca-Cola itself were in some sort of partnership with the Creation Museum then it would be more obvious – there would definitely be some recognition of it on the Museum’s website for a start, and probably on Coca-Cola’s as well.
    On the other hand the Coca-Cola Bottling Company’s website is very God-heavy and they do have a “faith-friendly” policy. J Frank Harrison III (current CEO and grandson of the company’s founder – hooray for nepotism!) appears to be just sort of guy who would want to form a partnership with the Creation Museum, which is in the company’s distribution region. A partnership between these two companies would be a good move both in a business sense, given their emphasis on faith, and probably personally for the CEO.
    Fortunately for Kevin, I don’t think the Coca-Cola Bottling Company has the distribution rights where he lives, but I could be wrong about that.

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