Gay marriage opponents are committed to saying asinine things

Here’s another dose of verbal vomit from OneNewsNow.com, that lovably corrupt arm of the American Family Association that makes me want to go out and gently set fire to as many churches as possible.

Maine citizens are taking a stand against the state legislature over homosexual “marriage.”

I love it when these “people” use scare quotes in an effort to deny the reality of something. If their “brains” worked right, they’d know that the “strategy” the use in their “news” releases is transparently stupid.

Although the legislature passed it and Governor John Baldacci approved the same-sex marriage bill in May, the law is on hold. Maine considers the people to be a branch of the government, and they can exercise a People’s Veto. Mary Conroy of Stand for Marriage tells OneNewsNow that means gathering enough signatures to put the issue before voters.

“So we have done a People’s Veto referendum signature-gathering campaign,” she explains, “and in just four weeks we’ve gathered more than 55,000 signatures from Mainers, which is a clear indication that the people of Maine really want to restore traditional marriage.”

Emphasis mine at the end there. Tell me, you worthless proto-hominid, has heterosexual marriage been put on hold since the passage of the same-sex marriage bill? No? Then please, I implore you with all of the dignity at my command, shut the fuck up about the need to “restore” anything.

That is a sufficient number of signatures needed to call the election in just a few weeks, but Conroy says the effort will continue to obtain as many signatures as possible.

“The outpouring of support has been incredible and, given the weather conditions here in Maine…we’ve had continuous rain and it has put a huge damper on our volunteer effort,” she laments.

That’s obviously God trying to tell you something, asshole. And I wouldn’t call the support you have received “incredible” if volunteers are afraid of getting wet, like a bunch of wicked witches.

At the end of the month, the signatures will be submitted to the state. If enough are deemed valid, the issue will go on the November 2009 ballot.

This will amount to a fart in a noisemaker. Maine has over 1.3 million people. I’m not sure how many people of voting age this amounts to, but 55,000 signatures is diddlyshit. Bunch of fuckin’ dubbahs. It’s amazing to me that people can obsess so profoundly over other things that don’t affect them, but since they do, good–I hope nasty and disturbing thoughts chase them into nightmares every time they lay their soft and misshapen heads on their pillows at night. Their angst is my tonic for a jaunty demeanor, a huge grin, and a series of “jack-off” hand-pumping motions aimed hither and yon, lawn-sprinkler-style.

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