Random bullshit to establish the existence of life

on this blog. Usually one or two of us retreats into a cocoon for a spell for various benign reasons, but the last month has seen a combined, unplanned hiatus. For my part I had a laptop stolen and have been scrambling to keep the orts of my life in order ever since (replacing it has been a fiasco, but that’s a long, boring, and profanity-laced story). SO I’ve been neglecting this place, but at least I weaned myself off Facebook and the Concord Monitor site in the process of losing much of my online access.

Anyway, recent days have seen American stupidity move from its terminally gibbous phase into the full–I daresay full-frontal–version. Two stories in particular have tweaked my balls: the teabagger nonsense in D.C. yesterday and the failure of the film Creation to find a U.S. distributor. More to get some content up here for a change than anything else, I’ll paste some scattershot thoughts I’ve expressed on message boards relating to these calamitous phenomena.

ME (in a discussion ostensibly about Jennifer Connelly’s nipples): I am looking forward to Creation. There was recently a piece in the NY Times about it, and it sounds as if the film was well done.

OTHER: Apparently, you’ll be waiting a long time [link to story included]. (I think you’ll be able to get a lot of mileage out of this one, Kevin. This is rantworthy even for mild-mannered folks like myself.)

ME: I’m now officially rooting for churches to burn to the ground. This country sucks. The next time I hear the natural anthem I’m going to whirl around, drop my pants and point my bare ass at the flag until that ugly song is over.

ME (a little later): Given time to think about it, I’ve decided there’s probably a lot more to the film’s failure to secure a U.S. distributor than fear on the part of those in charge.

If anything, the film isn’t controversial enough. It’s a nice historical narrative about the life of someone whose work over decades did more for biology, and maybe human understanding overall, than anyone before or since.

Also, while the United States is full of religious types, it is,more importantly, full of morons (with significant overlap between the two, of course–anyone who claims that evolution hasn’t been firmly established despite the efforts of scientists while holding that the conflicting Genesis accounts are true is as hapless as humans get, and is functionally a bovine with the ability to speak). People on the whole aren’t interested in such things, not when there are cheese doodles to be eaten, channels like VH1 and E! to be surfed, couch cushions to be farted in and molded to one’s fat ass, NASCAR drivers to be rooted for, Wal-Marts to be haunted, and cross-eyed drooling children to be conceived. Interest along the masses would be minimal.

So I wouldn’t blame the fact that distributors won’t pick up the film in the U.S. on our sadly pervasive religious character. I’d blame it on what underlies that character–untrammeled, unapologetic, gap-toothed-and-grinning ignorance. I hope I get to watch this on PBS or the Discovery Channel sometime.

(On teabaggers)

ME: Those people as a group are so overtly, immutably stupid that it’s unnecessary and maybe even cruel to portray them as any worse than they are. Watching them mill about was reminiscent of a Special Olympics reunion, but without the guileless charm of the genuinely mentally retarded. Even on FOX, the images and mini-interviews spoke for themselves–no amount of spin can make a scene like that look like anything more graceful than a bunch of psychotics with heavy-metal poisoning engaged in a slow-motion cowshit-eating contest. I’m really hoping some humanitarian put a powerful sterilizing agant in whatever water they were drinking.

I keep seeing these wall-eyed genetic tragedies blaring on about their freedoms being taken away. I want them to name even one. And these are the same hominids who supported the Patriot Act.

God obviously has the same kind of sense of humor I do, but that’s poor form when you’re running the fucking show.

OTHER: Why is the “liberal media” painting such a pleasant picture of Tea Baggers?

ME: Well, it’s the weekend. Just wait until tomorrow when people like Matthews, Olbermann, Maddow, Stewart, and Colbert have their brutal, giddy, lubrication-free, grunting, 180-thrusts-a-minute way with this nonsense.

Concerning the “liberal media,” most people in the media are in fact politically liberal themselves. People who make journalism a career choice tend to be well-educated and curious about the facts, two things that are antithetical to right-wingers.

I am not sure why people think that media outlets are obligated to offer opinions from both sides presumed to carry equal weight in the first place. These days that’s akin to giving equal play to Jack Daniels and Richard Gibbens when it comes to marathon training. When one side is pig-ignorant, proudly dishonest, and functionally insane, fuck ’em. They deserve to be the subjects of bias against them.

Then there’s the disconnect between the shit wingnuts parrot about the “liberal MSM” and what they gleefully proclaim about who is watching what. They complain without any introspection that the media on the whole is unfairly biased and left-leaning, but in the next breath they will boast that FOX “News” has more viewers than Countdown, Hardball et al. combined and that 90% of political talk radio is the purview of conservatives. Normal people obviously recognize that one cannot have it both ways, but morons can, because in the world of the moron, logical contradictions are merely one more construct communist faggots have produced into order to destroy America.

OTHER: The atmosphere and the slogans were, in places, extreme enough that four liberals who’d come to parody the protesters were having no trouble slipping in unnoticed, even cheered. This despite the four — Jack Neville, Julian Brunner, Tushara Ekanayake and Marina France — carrying signs like one that read “A whole lot of white people here today” and another that asked “Where’s the proof?” and showed an image of Obama’s certification of live birth. Ekanayake’s sign warned of gay Muslims — it should have been a tip-off, except that he was also carrying a photo of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, a rising star in the Republican Party, and telling people he was Jindal’s nephew. That, he said, had allayed suspicion.

“It’s such an example of group think,” France said of the crowd at the rally.


ME: I’m laughing to the point of tears right now. This, despite the fact that fooling the average teabagger is like stealing jewelry from a corpse.

I didn’t see evidence of a single black person in the TV coverage I was watching–this despite the rally being held in Washington, D.C.

4 thoughts on “Random bullshit to establish the existence of life”

  1. I’m really hoping some humanitarian put a powerful sterilizing agant in whatever water they were drinking.

    PROOF that OBAMA LIBRULS want to STERILIZE everyone by putting FLOURIDE in the WAAATER!!! PROOF!!!

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