Some truly funny comments from the wingnut world

Granite Grok, a shitblog maintained by proud right-wing New Hampshirites who aren’t from New Hampshire, is always a reliable source of misinformation, illiteracy, and the various other noisome hallmarks of self-identification with neoconservative politics. They’ve outdone themselves, though, with this post about serial lunatic Michele Bachmann, a congresswoman from Minnesota. Its opening utterances:

She drives the left nuts. George Will wrote about her in a recent column. What makes Michelle [sic] Bachmann catch peoples’ [sic] attention? She’s smart. She speaks in plain language. She doesn’t engage in doublespeak or pander. THAT is what people want in their politicians…

Apparently, someone thinks that it’s not Hallowe’en, but April Fool’s Day.

Bachmann doesn’t drive the left nuts. She’s an endless source of entertainment. As far as her speaking in plain language is concerned, I suppose that if you’re knot reel good with wurds yerself, yu might think that. A great example of Bachmann’s “plain language” was her claiming that the Swine Flu epidemic broke out under Jimmy Carter’s watch:

I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.

Sure she’s not blaming Obama–she merely finds things “interesting.” But more to the point, it was during Republican Gerald Ford’s presidency that the first cases of this strain of flu were seen (not that Ford was to blame, obviously).

Bachmann has also claimed that 3% the atmosphere consists of carbon dioxide, putting her in error by a factor of roughly 100. Then there’s this gem:

I just wondered that if our founders thought taxation without representation was bad, what would they think of representation WITH taxation?

Brilliant.

There are scores of other examples of Bachmann’s unwavering incompetence as a member of the House and as a human being, but it would take all day and night to list them and I have to stock up on eggs and shaving cream before it gets dark.

The Granite Grok clowns have stood behind people like Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin in the past. But when you believe that Michele Bachmann is smart, it’s time to visit a neurologist, or have someone analyze your tap water for the presence of heavy metals.

I don’t doubt that Bachmann’s unmitigated stupidity, lies, and fact-check failures are in fact exactly what morons like the Groksters want in their politicians. With Republicans like Bachmann front and center, it makes it all the easier for ineducable jackholes to feign relevance by littering the Web with Kool-Aid-induced vomit and waste time hosting radio shows that no one with a normal number of chromosomes could possibly bear to listen to.

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  1. #1 by doug on October 31, 2009 - 2:31 pm

    Hey Kev, I have a friend that has a daughter that went to BBHS, where, for a period of time, she rejected her religion. I know she was on the track team. I’m wondering if it was some asshole like you that did that to her. Thankfully, she’s found her way back. I was horrified to find out that someone of your ilk was associated with that otherwise fine school. You suk! (sic) Too bad we can’t all be “enlightened” like you. Not…

  2. #2 by kemibe on October 31, 2009 - 2:54 pm

    Way to respond to the substance of the post, Doug. What a surprise. (That was sarcasm.)

    For one thing, were I to inspire a young person to reject religion, that would make me a hero, not an asshole. For another, I never once said a word about religion to anyone I coached. If this nameless person decided while at Bishop Brady that religion was the pile of bullshit it so clearly is, I’m not surprised–a lot of kids managed to figure that out during their tenure at that hallowed institution.

    Too bad we can’t all be “enlightened” like you.

    True, it is too bad that there are so many dimwits in the world, and that an alarmingly high fraction of them develop a yen for blogging. You will never understand what a livid joke Granite Grok is in the view of people with even moderately functional intellects. You can’t write a single post without a near 100 percent chance of committing some obvious fuckup, and I’m talking about the substance, not the fourth-grade grammar level. Fortunately for you, you’re too stupid to be embarrassed by your own blithering incompetence. And you do give your many cognitive betters something to deride, waste of time though it may be.

    Anyway, thanks for your meticulous and expert defense of Michele Bachmann. You should have married her–the two of you would have had kids who would have walked into at least three walls before figuring out how to leave a room.

  3. #3 by Kim on October 31, 2009 - 6:39 pm

    A sweet note for Dougboy from a Catholic school survivor:

    It was Catholic school in general that educated me to the point of realizing that religion was a load of BS. Before that, I was all on that Christ train.

    On the other hand, the running portion of my BS Catholic school education is what saved me from absolute madness and Satan worship after discovering how many hours I wasted listening to stories about Jesus, who is basically a Santa Claus for adults. I ran off that frustration for 6 long years.

    Anyway, chances are pretty good that the person that put this student in the Catholic school system is at fault when it comes the student realizing that there is no mystical creature in the sky waiting to save our asses from reality. Congrats to you friend for being such a genius.

    Oh, just to fill you in, many Catholic schools don’t require teachers to be licensed or even trained in education. They also lack many of the programs a public school has to offer. So, once again, way to go. You have spawned a well educated, sane creature for our earth. (sarcasm that I’m sure you wouldn’t pick up without this note).

    -Kim a.k.a God

  4. #4 by kemibe on October 31, 2009 - 10:53 pm

    “Oh, just to fill you in, many Catholic schools don’t require teachers to be licensed or even trained in education. They also lack many of the programs a public school has to offer.”

    Bishop Brady being one such school. Maybe they have working water fountains these days, but I’m not confident enrollment has risen enough in the 8+ years I’ve been there to even suggest such a possibility.

    The Holy See is nothing but a bunch of sickly self-indulgent, profiteering fuckballs, and I’d enjoy seeing its downfall. People can be spiritual without submitting to the requirements of the asshole calling itself the Pope.

  5. #5 by Warren on November 2, 2009 - 1:52 pm

    “[I]t was during Republican Gerald Ford’s presidency that the first cases of this strain of flu were seen (not that Ford was to blame, obviously).”

    I’d find it hard to imagine that Ford ever had the competence required to accept responsibility – or, indeed, blame – for anything during his sad tenure at 1600 Penna Ave.

  1. Granite Grok dude loses show, column thanks to anti-gay comments « Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge
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