Dumb-ass polls

It’s as though Christian “news” sites are engaged in a perpetual contest to see which one of them can produce the most inane poll question.

Take this one, for example.

How should Christians respond to lawmakers who support healthcare reform which includes abortion funding? (See related article)

1. Complain about them to other people
2. Contact the lawmakers to express your concerns
3. Remember their names when you vote in 2010

Leave aside the fact that no one is presently supporting such a thing, although I, despite not being a lawmaker, would gladly support the public funding of forced abortions for the lepers behind sites like those created by the AFA and other stupid people who insist on getting knocked up with the intent of churning out one more wall-eyed, flat-faced, mentally defective affront to the mammalian world. These are just useless questions. #1 is a given–Christians always complain about shit. It’s virtually their job. So thrilled are they by the very notion of bitching for its own sake that they donate money to outfits whose entire sad act consists of airing grievances founded on lies, all with the intent of parting morons from their money. #2 is a wash, since no one who frequents sites boasting polls like this one is resourceful or sensible enough to actually become involved in civic affairs in a meaningful way. #3 is also a wash because people with the intracranial extravagance of cuddlefish won’t remember their own names in 2010, let alone those of these rat bastards intent on hoodwinking American taxpayers via the healthcare reform business.

Ardent pro-lifers are liars by trade. They intentionally mislead people with their punctured-foetus photos aimed at portraying late-term abortions as a frequent occurrence. They make up numbers on the spot while pretending that what organizations like the CDC have to say on such matters is driven by conspiracies. The National Right To Life couldn’t generate an honest press release if you paid them to try. These people, as a group, are hysterical, meddlesome, and uneducated cross-waving fuckabouts, although few of them are as insanely out-of-control of this bitter and schizotypal cretin, who calls herself “an advocate for the rights of all women” even as she rambles on incoherently about “Feminazis” and “pro-abort feminists.” I guess the only rights she feels women should have are the ones she approved of. Pro-lifers know in their hypocritical hearts that their campaign is destined for failure, now and in the future.

Speaking of categorically failed goals, I’ll never quite get my mind around the idea that a bunch of functional illiterates with a blog genuinely thing that they can “Stop the ACLU.” That’s not what they’re interested in anyway–they’re driven only by the aim of railing about anything they see as a liberal cause, lying, and putting their room-temperature IQs on display with every misinformed shitburst. I bet none of them even knows why he is compelled to complain in the manner he does. All of them seem to have been raised in hillbilly households by inbred Jesus-freak parents whose only success was producing offspring with a number of chromosomes somewhere in the ballpark of appropriate. The stupid on that site almost burns.

Anyway, I voted for #1 just so I could see the results, and the results are wonky. Supposedly, at this point 8097 people have voted, and none of them have chosen the answer I did, even though I just did. 63% favor #3 and 36% like #2.

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  1. #1 by terrence on November 7, 2009 - 4:23 am

    The poll is allegedly up to 8779 votes now — the percentages are, however, exactly the same as the ones quoted, 36.76% and 63.24%, and it doesn’t appear to have counted my vote either. I suppose if I were not completely inured to the supreme dishonesty and incompetence of these of these clowns by now, a completely fake poll would have to push me over the edge. On the bright side, they’ve managed to take sock-puppetry to a whole new, even more despicable level, so I suppose it’s not a complete wash.

  2. #2 by terrence on November 7, 2009 - 7:09 pm

    Over last night, the poll numbers have changed to 37.22% and 62.78%. However, with the current total vote at 10614 results, in order for option 1 to show 0.01% of the pie (assuming they always round down), I think you would only need ceil(10614*0.0001)=2 votes (which we know we have). So it looks like they have programmed the poll software to drop votes to option 1, rather than just putting up a bitmap with results they like. That seems like a bizarrely large amount of work to conduct a fraudulent poll, but I suppose you can’t expect them to do things the smart way.

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