This morning I found an article called “The Eight Habits of Lousy Listeners.” I thought this might be of interest to the scrapes who read the shit I splatter all over my Facebook wall, so I posted the link there. This sparked an amusing comment thread and sparked my recollection of a genuinely appalling Internet phenomenon, known (aren’t they all?) solely by an abbreviation: TLDR.

TLDR stands for “too long; didn’t read” and appears on message forums below posts in threads that some genius has taken the time to navigate to and–at least in part–read through, but refuses to digest in their entirety. Specifically it’s typed as a reflex response to seeing an assembly of words guaranteed to take more than thirty seconds to get through and therefore, in the mind of the standard neo-fuckhead, not worth even skimming.

Understand that if you type “TLDR” on an Internet forum in a non-ironic way, this is a cardinal sign of willfully being a lifelong ignoramus. If your attention span is such that you can’t be bothered to read three whole paragraphs about something about which you’re ostensibly interested, then you’ve resigned yourself to being sufficiently stupid to render self-immolation, defenestration, terminal auto-erotic asphyxiation, etc. actions that would be a tremendous boon to the gene pool, especially if your attention span has proven suitably short to keep you from becoming pregnant or impregnating anyone else.

By the way, I didn’t read the linked article about shitty listeners; I just thought based on the title alone that others might find it interesting. I’m really not concerned with whether you think I’m hanging on your every word. If I interrupt you, at least it means I care.

  1. #1 by Doc Bushwell on October 8, 2010 - 12:00 pm

    Understand that if you type “TLDR” on an Internet forum in a non-ironic way, this is a cardinal sign of willfully being a lifelong ignoramus.

    A fair assessment, I guess. On the other hand (or in interwebz-savvy parlance OTOH), I have seen comments to posts in other venues that exemplify the worst kind of writing from earnest and self-important humanities majors/grad students. These meandering tracts of verbiage drive me nuts. It’s all I can do to whip out a digitial red pen and go into full-on editor mode whilst bellowing “GET TO THE FUCKING POINT ALREADY!” In the interest of brevity, perhaps I should just respond: TLTR.

  2. #2 by kemibe on October 8, 2010 - 12:06 pm

    Oh, but it’s different when you are looking at something from a “this could be a hell of a lot more economical of word” perspective, because it means that you are (twatforbid!) *reading* the comment. Now, if you were to see a comment, note only that it was lengthy, and respond with “comment #45 was way too fucking long–didn’t bother with it,” you’d have fallen into the category of shitbag I’m grousing about here.

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