Just when I think I’m wasting far too many words on nonsense…

…someone points me to a blog post that reminds me I’m not even in the Triple-A of inane and verbose.

God hates the quiet life, I think. He wants us to break a sweat on our passage through this vale of tears.

He keeps throwing us into the deep end of the pool when we still aren’t sure we can swim without water wings; he wants us out in the Tour de France when we still miss our training wheels.

He wants us to face challenges that are bigger than anything we know, more complicated than we can figure out, and so dangerous and all encompassing that we are forced to develop our gifts and our characters to the highest possible degree.

That must be it. God loves us so much that he visits minor inconveniences on us in order to help us flourish — things like senseless, far-flung wars, famine, fatal incurable diseases, tsunamis, wife-beating, rape, theft, and the horrific slaughter of untold numbers of innocent children, etc. I mean, without a few ripples here and there, how would be be able to appreciate it when God’s actually being nice?

You could make a case that the mismatch between the human drive to predict and control the future and the radically unknowable nature of the chaos in which we live proves that God is a sadist.

You could make a similar case that the Tooth Fairy has such a hankering for discarded human enamel that she’s willing to shell out millions a night in order to secure tons upon tons of it. Or you could…never mind.

Prepare yourselves, friends. God loves us with a fierce and terrible love, and he really, really thinks it’s time for us to grow.

That this essay is as eloquent as it is demented and incoherent underscores the fact that “faith” of this sort if about the only thing besides mind-altering drugs that can cause intelligent people to harbor howlingly stupid beliefs.

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  1. #1 by jim on April 28, 2011 - 10:21 pm

    You know, most sane people would run away as quickly as possible from someone who professed a “fierce and terrible love” of them.

    What’s next, a soft and cozy hatred? How about a warm and relaxing jealousy? Not far enough? Well then, how about tasty and tart vomit or a pleasing and gentle bout of explosive diarrhea?

    It’s like I tell my computer programming students, just because you can string words together using proper syntax doesn’t mean that what you’ve said makes any sense.

  2. #2 by hopper3011 on April 29, 2011 - 3:56 am

    Actually Jim, those descriptors aren’t the antonyms you suppose; according to Webster’s, “fierce” can also mean “3. intensely eager; intense; ardent” and “terrible” is “3. Extreme in extent or degree; intense” – so the post could be rewritten “God loves us with an ardent and intense love”.

    Doesn’t prove that the poster isn’t a loon, just that they happen to read Dickens.

  3. #3 by Jim on April 29, 2011 - 10:50 am

    That’s as may be, but with that sort of “ardent and intense love”, I think we’d all be better off with plain old indifference.

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