Not to *directly* compare Michele Bachmann to the Ebola virus…

…but whenever I’m exposed to images and sounds of her, it’s like my internal organs are liquefying, a thermonuclear popcorn popper filled with ground glass is roaring away inside my skull, and my eyeballs are being burned out with nitric acid. I stress that I’m not being insensitive to victims of fatal viral illnesses here, and it is not an ideal comparison.

That’s essentially the latest from the studiously unhinged sort-of-almost-candidate-for-president Michele Bachmann, the proudly mindless congresswoman from a rich district in Minnesota who — along with Romney and Bloomberg and no small handful of others and now the Trump ape — epitomizes the reality of political aspirations these days: They’re about wealthy people entertaining themselves, not about wanting to lead, for better or for worse.

Bachmann told a group of people in Manchester, N.H. that she recalls being mortified as a kid to learn about the Holocaust (this, despite ample evidence that Bachmann has never sat through a history class in a conscious state) and that taxation and entitlement programs represent “a similar death and a similar taking away.”

She hastened to add that the analogy wasn’t perfect, of course. I have to think that Bachmann’s handlers, whoever they are, cannot be as dumb as she is even if she’s hand-picked them, and that they no longer even try to keep her from saying rowdily embarrassing things. Most sentient adults know that this kind of paralipsis (“I’m not going so far as to compare a tax increase with wholesale human slaughter, but…”) doesn’t work and that once a cat that mangy is let out of the rhetorical bag, there’s no stuffing it back inside. I will go further and predict that someone in her campaign or on her congressional staff is very busy right this moment compiling notes for a book that will prove highly entertaining, if not at all revealing, to intelligent people in another year or so.

I actually admire Holocaust deniers more than I do people like Bachmann, a ham-handed blithering demagogue with the sensitivity of mud and the intellect to match. At least conspiracy theorists tend to be interesting and equipped with a bit of verbal panache. Bachmann is just a bumblefuck, and before long even she won’t seem especially funny.

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