New Ways to Approach Buffet Restaurants

If you follow or tolerate me on Facebook, you’ve probably seen the titles of some of the articles I’ve written for a particular entity that clearly counts on SEO, not quality, for traffic. I don’t write the titles; I choose them from among a huge slag heap of computer-generated ones and then write stuff that more or less conforms to them. I was musing in an editor’s forum yesterday that I wouldn’t mind seeing the following titles:

Pederast Priests in Flin Flon, Saskatchewan
All You Can Eat Restaurants that Tolerate Bulimics
How Do I Drive My Car After The Wheels Are Gone?
Barbequed Ice Cream for Cocker Spaniels
10 Ways to Become A Porn Star with Erectile Dysfunction in Syria

Someone smartly suggested that if we all Googled these things simultaneously, it would push into the realm of possibility and, via whatever bots the site uses, maybe into the selection bin. Well, I did Google the second one up there and found this. It’s…an interesting thread, and all the more poignant for sigs like “Enjoy life to the fullest.”

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Moon Chew

Today I went to an all you can eat with my parents, I just picked up a salad as usual but there was a really really really super super bony skinny tall girl at a table in the corner on her own with a huge piled up high plate a noodles, eating it as if she was on a crazy binge, I looked at her for a while and then she looked at me and turned more to face the wall.
After she had finished eating, she went to the bathroom, then she went to get another huge plate of food, she noticed me watching her ever though I tried not to be noticeable. Every time I looked at her, she looked at me, even my parents didn’t notice I was looking away from the table.

When she went to the loo again & came back & grabbed a 3rd plate I just knew she was definitely mia, after that plate, she went to the loo and then left, she was there before we arrived & left just before we left.

I just wondered if anyone else has B/P ‘d at a buffet?

It’s a cheap way of getting a lot of food I guess .

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Green Tea

good idea. but i can;t purge qquietly 

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Moon Chew

I think the more your purge, the quieter you get, that is how it happened for me, it used to take me 45 minutes of gagging to get very little food back up but after a year it has gotten kind of easy and I don’t really ever purge more than twice a day, twice a week at maximum, I think the quietness came with dulling my gag reflex, I can put my hand in my mouth as far as I want now without gagging, the techniques to make me actually purge require certain fingers in certain ways now, I constantly have to find new finger combination techniques too which isn’t so great, but purging isn’t exactly “great” though.

I don’t think I could do this because the idea of anyone watch me eat just a salad is hell, so stuffing my face is public would make me want to die., but for a last resort, mia can make you wouldn’t even dream of doing if you were thinking straight, so I can’t say never.

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Green Tea

well it’s funny because it’s not the problem getting it all up. i’m just loud ahah, but it will probably get quiteter, and for the finger combo druethat 

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nathrakh

It would be a cheap way of getting an awesome binge thats for sure. I dont really care if people hear me purge either. My room mates here it all the time. They think, im just a poor guy thats often sick. (ignorance is bliss) I wouldnt be able to eat in a restaurant tho. I cant stand eating in public. I Dont want to be seen with, or around food. I feel sorry for the girl u saw tho, shes probably very unhappy.

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Moon Chew

I tried to miss that part out, but she looked completely miserable and she didn’t seem to be enjoying anything she was eating, she looked like she could just start crying any time…

…and here I am feeling jealous 

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HoneyHeart

Oh my god i have done this at a chinese buffet.  Was it three or four LARGE and STACKED plates of dinner? And then two bowls of dessert (it was included in the buffet). I felt so ashamed afterwards, as it was such a waste of food and i turned into a monster. I was complaining about the other people going up for their buffet and eating the food i wanted when WTF i was going up there multiple times like a fat pig and going to puke it up anyway. I was sitting at my table watching the duck LIKE A HAWK, waiting for it to come out!. We were there for hours! lol! It’s a good thing my friend was fucking hungry too!

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starving-beauty

wish i had a bulimic friend that i could go out and do this with would be so much fun i have a real sweet tooth so i might just be going to the dessert table back and fourth all night i wouldnt go there by myself though id feel depressed and lonley and that everyone was looking at me.

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thinkingaloud

When i lived in the city i used to do this loads!

I wish i had someone to go with too, but that dosent stop me going by myself. Yeah i feel depressed and lonely and everyone is looking at me, but i just try and sit in the corner and ignore them! Even though i usually cant stand ppl watching me binge, and they must know. Im always so sared theres gonna be someone i know there! I dont think i could even go with family/friends, itd seem like such a waste a money that i couldnt eat and eat and eat! I have 2 or 3 big plates, i enjoy the first one but after that it feels like i just have to get through it b’cos its there. Somehow it seems worth it.

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After this I Googled “kicked out of all you can eat” and came up with this, a how-to article about how to be thrown out of a buffet restaurant. And the publisher? No connection to the parent company I mentioned about. Nope, none at all. That you know of.

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