The CU football team’s awesome el foldo

I love the CU track and cross-country programs and the diversity of the school’s academic programs, and I despise the football team just as much. Actually, it’s their fans I can’t stand. Or the whole phenomenon of home games. I know these folks flowing into the city are just trying to have a good time, but every time there’s a home game, Boulder becomes littered with alumni with an average age of about 68 who swarm across the bike paths with a seemingly willful degree of cluelessness and in general fuck up the city. (The woes were compounded this round by the fact that it’s Parents’ Weekend.) They dress so similarly that I almost suspect there is a de facto uniform — CU T-shirt, CU hat, and in some cases CU shorts. And for all I know, CU tampons and butt plugs. I saw one guy in his 50’s who was actually wearing football pants (no pads, though). Then again, this place having the character it does, that guy may well dress like this every day of the year.

I was spoiled by attending a school with no football team — the only state university for which this is true. (UVM dropped football in 1975 or so and pours its athletic money and energy into the hockey and skiing programs.) So I never dealt with this shit.

It might be more tolerable if the team didn’t suck. But they’re awful. In response to a shitty 2010 season in which the coach was sacked with a few games remaining, CU moved from the Big 12 to the Pac-10 (now Pac-12) — a much stronger conference. I suppose I could commend fans for showing up and demonstrating loads of support even though their team blows donkey dicks; this is no bandwagon phenomenon. And the Denver metro area enthusiastically supports the equally shitty Broncos, and the shitty-as-of-late Rockies, and the middling Nuggets and Avalanche. But in truth, most of the students and probably a goodly fraction of the alumni don’t care about the football team’s fortunes. They just want to get plastered.

Anyway, Colorado seemingly had yesterday’s game in the bag. With just over five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter they were up 27-17, and managed to lose the game.

An epic fourth-quarter collapse sealed the fate of Jon Embree’s predecessor last fall. Now Colorado’s new football coach has a late-game meltdown of his own to digest.

The Buffaloes managed to surrender a 10-point lead in the final 5 minutes, 4 seconds Saturday against Washington State and lost 31-27 at Folsom Field to a Cougars team that had won only one other time away from home under fourth-year coach Paul Wulff.

The loss left CU players and coaches devastated. It also left them with a 1-4 record and a road trip to No. 6 Stanford up next. In the moments after they self-destructed yet again, Embree had one question for his team.

“When is enough, enough?” Embree said. “You put in all this work. You do all the stuff that you’ve done from spring ball to coaches’ week to training camp for this. This is what we did the work for. When is it enough? When are they going to get tired of losing?

“This staff, we’ve been here for five frickin’ weeks and I’m tired of it. So if I’ve been here for five years, I got to be tired of it myself, too.”

Well frickin’ said.

One thought on “The CU football team’s awesome el foldo”

  1. In general, I don’t understand the appeal of big time spectator sports. Football in particular I find to be terminally boring. Everyone lines up, they go *mash*mash*, the clock stops, everyone mills around a bit and then they repeat those steps.

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