To the BRC guy I saw doing a road fartlek this morning (North Boulder)

(Yeah, I’m posting in Craigslist Rants & Raves mode.)

Hi. I’m the guy you saw a few times on and near the Cottonwood Trail at 7 a.m. who was wearing a bright blue Charlottesville Running Company windbreaker, black Sporthill-style pants, a Delaware XC hat and two-dollar gloves from Walgreens. (You surely couldn’t see all that, but I like describing this crude ensemble.) You were — and probably still are — about 5′ 10″ or 5′ 11′ and 160-ish pounds, and were wearing black bicycle-type tights and a Boulder Running Company top. You had — and most likely still have — a dark mustache/goatee combination and appeared to be about 30 or 40 years old. (I didn’t have my sunglasses on.) Here’s the deal. I was out to run for a little over 70 minutes so I could call it ten miles. That gave me the freedom to go by my watch rather than landmarks, which will explain the behavior I’ll review below. We first passed each other when I was heading north and you were rolling south on the trail between Independence Road and Jay Road. I turned around at Jay because I was then a half-hour in, and I soon saw that you had also reversed direction as well as dumped your windbreaker and picked up the pace. Genius that I am, I realized that you were doing a hard workout of some sort. So by this time we were well acquainted, but nothing weird was afoot.

When I got back to Independence Road I decided to bang a left, as I’d never explored what lies east of the northern side airport. When I made another left onto 57th street a kilometer or so later, I saw you charging in my direction. You yourself had obviously made a right from the trail at Jay and right at 57th. Anyway, just after I spotted you I noticed that my watch read 45:00, so it was time for me to turn around again. To you it may have looked like I was reacting to your presence. About five minutes later you went by me on the other side of the road. Based on the time it took you to catch up and how fast I reckon I was going — and I felt like shit this morning, thanks for asking — you must have been doing about 5:30 pace. Sturdy work! As soon as you built about a 30-meter gap, you started jogging, but I didn’t think for a moment that you had only kept the pedal to the floor long enough to pass me. Only I do that to people. No, I don’t, but I bet it’s looked like that at times.

Finally, I hopped back on the paved part of the Cottonwood Trail, near the UCAR buildings along 47th and the residential neighborhood where I started north of Valmont. I headed north again for a spell, but when the watch hit 65:00 I was due to reverse direction once more. And wouldn’t you know, at precisely that moment you were headed toward me on the path, again with your windbreaker on. Luckily I darted off the trail before you could catch up, had that been your intention, which I strongly doubt.

You have to have thought by the time you got home that I was mentally unstable, a private eye, a victim of serious social anxiety or maybe all three. No worries, though, because you’re very unlikely to see me on any of those roads and trails ever again. Good luck to you!