Simplifying the DSM

Long ago, people believed mental illness was the result of demonic possession or other “supernatural” forces. Today, mental problems are typically described as resulting from imbalances in neurochemistry, even though there is no such thing as neurochemical balance.

I think it’s time to adopt a more progressive model, which includes exactly three psychiatric states (independent of drug use):

  1. Some degree of schizophrenia or departure from reality, rooted chiefly in serotonin pathways. Thankfully, medicatons exist to address this sometimes tragic state.
  2. Dementia, usually resulting from progressive CNS deterioration with age. Alzeheimer’s researchers continue to make strides in this area.
  3. Being an asshole, occasionally or perhaps even continually. This is caused primarily by being a person who interacts with others. If you’re not the asshole at the outset of any given exchange, there’s an excellent chance you soon will be.

I think it’s time to stop letting people off the hook for #3. All of this “Is he fit to stand trial or not?” chatter is nonsense. If you go out and shoot up a mall or a concert or drown your kids on purpose because something in the world isn’t right, you’re merely a more ambitious form of asshole than the sort who, say, systematically spreads bullshit on the Internet about people you resent and envy.

Ascribing Donald Trump’s abject stupidity and greedy ways to “a mental disorder” is like saying that a Geo Metro has “an engine problem” because it can’t go as fast as a Testarossa. On the whole, we attribute to pathology that which we simply find inconvenient and detestable.

If humanity were not a simulation being run by gigantic, non-carbon-based life forms in the sixth dimension of “space” via a wormhole near Fomalhaut, things might be a little better. I have REAMS of research, including 1,598 pages’ worth of journaling, about how these playful fuckers have convinced humans that psychiatric disorders are a widespread thing. A lot of you may have already heard about it because it’s on that deep-state website a select few of you know about. It would be best to noto share this post with anyone because They are probably watching. The take-home message is that you should not trust anyone who can levitate and has a lot of scars on his torso from manscaping with a cheese grater. (By the way, don’t do that either.)

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