I’ll cheerfully admit that I waste a lot of time writing about a person who, in addition to being uncommonly malicious and motivated by imaginary offenses against her, is clearly disturbed. She isn’t likely to curb her behavior as long as she has a man with particular sexual tastes providing her with food, lodging and Internet access. She has very little to lose by continuing to wage war against facts, decency, and reality itself; as she is well aware but would never admit, it’s not as if she has, or ever will have, a professional reputation to protect, and everyone who is familiar with her has known for a long time that she is somewhere between vaguely antisocial at best and the kind of person you’d never want young children or even pets around at worst. Since I’ve started blogging about her, a few people in her former running club in Central Massachusetts have shared with me impressions they had of her without knowing her especially well, and have assured me that, while the things I’ve described in the past 2 1/2 years on my blogs and website have been eyebrow-raising in scope, none of her actions toward me are especially surprising in light of what these observers already perceived. In short, Kim has always been a jabbering fuckup, and it’s not as if she could hide this even if she wanted to.
One might make the argument (though to my knowledge no one has done so) that I’m just pouring gasoline on a tire fire by continuing to deride her here and on Twitter. But the undeniable reality is that Kim rants about me even when she doesn’t think I’m watching. Even ignoring the fact that she started all of this shit almost five years ago merely because I fired her as a non-paying, non-training coaching client who only wanted to use me as an audience-of-one for her ranting about her boy-problems and her struggles with drinking, this is not a symmetrical dispute. This is because, simply put, when Kim shuts up, I quickly start to forget she’s even out there even though her unseemly carcass is planted only a mile or so from where I live. I do, unlike Kim, have work to do, friends to see, hobbies other than online trolling to pursue, and a beautiful dog to spoil. Kim, in contrast, has been lying and complaining about me without pause since she moved to Boulder toward the end of 2014 — a move I’d bet my life savings would never had happened if I hadn’t already been living there myself.
For example, having worn out her welcome on various running forums long ago, she took to Reddit in 2017 and started in with her shit about me there. Again, remember that she didn’t think at the time I would ever see this stuff. (In a few cases, she was almost right, but I have friends in Boulder who read Reddit when they feel like surveying what the Internet’s anonymous trolling forces are up to, and Kim’s electronic ass-prints are unmistakable when you’ve had any exposure to her manic, disjointed rambling and the things she can’t help but mention.)
Again, please keep in mind my main point here as you read. Yeah, it may look like a case of he-said-she-said on the surface, especially if you don’t know the whole backstory (though no one I’m aware of has suggested as much). But not once have I posted about Kim spontaneously, or merely because it occurred to me that she’s probably sitting around being a piece of shit because that’s what she’s always been and all she’s capable of being. Everything I’ve written has been a reaction to some kind of bullshit she’s lobbed onto the Internet, or an e-mail she’s sent to spread lies about me.
Last Christmas, one of my friends, a man named Benjamin Harvey, died on Christmas morning on University Hill in Boulder. He had a drinking problem, very much like the one I used to have, and he was homeless. It dipped below 10 degrees that night, and he froze to death. Shortly thereafter, I said a few words at a memorial service for Benji in downtown Boulder and described my frustration at the Boulder Shelter for the Homeless for banning Benji months earlier (based on what I had been told about the particulars, this was somewhere between unnecessary and obviously wrong). A reporter for the Boulder Daily Camera got in touch with me and wrote an article that drew on our conversation.
Soon after the article ran, I got a hunch that Kim would would have seen it and taken to any Reddit threads dedicated to the situation or to homelessness in Boulder in general. After all, I’d recently caught her on Reddit exposing one of her own favorite false claims about herself — that she was enrolled at the University of Colorado working toward a computer science or engineering degree — as a lie (not that this was remotely believable in the first place). She quickly deleted the duclok2 account after discovering I’d found the relevant threads, but you can’t keep an insane, hateful troll down for long, and I knew she was probably back in the fray under a different handle, since every stay-at-home burrito-belching shitbird needs a way to fill her day while the boyfriend is off earning her beer money.
I found what I was looking for immediately. (I’ve covered the Benji situation vis-a-vis Kim’s malignant yammering, along with her unwitting admission that she hasn’t earned a single college credit in her four years in Colorado and would be better off accepting that she’s too fucking dumb to get a meaningful college degree, here and here. I’m focusing in this post on things she’s posted in the belief that I wouldn’t see them.)
Kim made the comment below in the summer of 2017, about five months before Benji died. I noticed it because of more recent comments from the same account, HungryBuffsDriver, in a thread about Benji’s death that had obviously come from Kim. That account is still active, but she deleted this comment in January when I made it forcefully known that I was on to her.
The core issue isn’t that she’s lying, being flagrantly malicious (“I can’t wait for the downfall”) and pretending to have a job; she is always all of these and knows no other way. The core issue is that she expresses these things about me (and in this case, my girlfriend Lize) even when she believes we’ll never see it. Combining this with the idea that neither Lize nor I never did anything bad to her to begin with when she embarked on this ruthlessly stupid — and spectacularly self-defeating — quest, she should strike any sane observer as dangerous in the extreme. Mainly to herself, but to the rest of us, too.
Anyway, as you can see from this screen capture, I discovered the first batch of her Benji-related posts five days after she made them. I’ll post just this one representative comment, but feel free to examine the rest for yourself. Not only was she trying desperately, even heroically, to reveal my name without literally revealing it, she was also simultaneously describing me as a dangerous resident of the shelter and was even claiming to know Benji because she was homeless herself (yet somehow working for Hungry Buffs, a local food-delivery service).
In the same thread, she posted something blatantly stupid and blatantly in violation of the Reddit rules under a different handle, Kitty_BunBuns_. Neither the comment nor the account lasted very long.
Again with the shit about me being a homeless drunken woman-beater, one of her themes that persists to the present.
But that still wasn’t good enough, so she also decided to pose as a lawyer, albeit a functionally illiterate one, with knowledge of the shelter and, you guessed it, Kevin Beck and Benjamin Harvey. This account, Legal_Throwaway34, is also still active, and Kim created it just for this subject (and hasn’t used it since). Again, I’ll offer just one comment here, but the rest, like the HungryBuffsDriver ones, remain available for review.
At this point I jumped in and called her out, purposefully doxxing both of us, and she quickly lost it. (At one point she tried to post in defense of the homeless delivery person as the lawyer, but was still logged in as the lawyer, or maybe it was the other way around. There’s always the silver lining of raw entertainment value with enraged loons.) That’s when she deleted the HungryBuffsDriver comment about Lize and me waiting for Lize’s mom to die so we could take over the house and lose it owing to our presumed inability to pay taxes on it. A moderator got involved and deleted a bunch of comments. Reddit mods tend to be an ignoble lot themselves (seriously, who would want to be in charge of one of those fucking zoos besides a jobless moron on an ersatz power trip?), but this one took my side.
But was she done? Of course not! Within a day or two she was back again, this time as i_climb_rocks_a_lot. (In yet another of her fantasy lives, she’s an avid rock-climber.) That account was soon suspended. This stuff doesn’t technically belong with the foregoing material because by then, Kim was aware of my presence. So she just defaulted to the usual “let’s show the world I could still smear my own foul shit on the wall even in a straitjacket”-style keyboard-banging. I’m including one of the comments I saved (which is all of them) for the sake of completeness.
To my knowledge, that was the end of it — for a while. In March, she made an account called literal_crap_bag, which if nothing else is aptly named. At the beginning of May, someone pointed me to a post in the Boulder subreddit that he knew had to have been from Kim. (This guy is sharp, but you really don’t need to be to pick up on Kim’s unusual combination of meanness, poor grammar, and jovial, oblivious departures from reality.)
I looked at her comments in other subreddits and found a couple of clinchers.
That account is still live, although abandoned for now, but she deleted the three above comments once I started ragging her here and on Reddit itself.
Finally, in April, she created an account called iCodeToYachtRock. She even helpfully revealed her identity by describing the exact location in Worcester where she used to live, though, again, this was a mere formality. I discovered this account in late July, by which time she had posted this:
It’s difficult to convey how angry this makes me. Not so much the attempt to paint me as some lost-cause abusive drunk, as I’m used to that from this turd, but the stuff about knowing Benji. If she winds up drunk on the streets herself and freezes to death, left like a pile of garbage in a ditch littered with discarded liquor bottles and fast-food wrappers — and that’s more than a remote possibility — it’ll be too good for her, and in her case, no one would bother with any sort of memorial. Sean, her boyfriend, would in all likelihood morosely jerk off on her pauper’s grave, and that would be it.
Anyway, there you go. Just since last year, just on Reddit, Kim Duclos has created at least six accounts dedicated primarily or exclusively to ranting about me, only one of which she set up in the knowledge I was watching.
I’ll say that one more time. Just on Reddit, since the middle of 2017 alone, Kim Duclos has used a minimum of five accounts to post horseshit about me and people I know despite believing that I would never see it. In other words, she’s not just trolling to get my attention; she’s continually thinking about me and using the Internet as a bullhorn for her toxic obsession regardless of the audience and no matter my recent behavior toward her or anyone or anything. That’s beyond all conventional definitions of “pathological.”
Worse still, in the iCodeToYachtRock account, where she recently experienced a bit of difficulty with the powers that be, she has introduced the persistent idea that I’m upset that Kim rejected me as a romantic partner. As I noted, this is both ludicrous and frightening, because it implies that she, a preternaturally powerful projection factory, has unresolved feelings toward me that I really do not want to even think about at all.
Anyway, to be fair, I should now reveal the number of accounts I’ve created for the purpose of railing anonymously about Kim in an effort to get her in trouble. That number is zero. See, I don’t need to lie about what’s gone on with Kim and me. I just don’t. I’d love for her to reveal the URLs of my blogs and websites to the people to whom she insists — always under anonymous handles — that I’ve fabricated things about her. Sure, I’ve created some Twitter accounts that are obviously me and a few Reddit ones just to tweak her udders, and it works beautifully because she’s prone to keening bouts of fuckwit rage. But there’s no pretense afoot with these. She knows it’s me, no one else on Reddit knows who either of us really is or gives a fuck, and for a while, at least, Kim tends to shut up. But never for long, because she’s fucking crazy.
Also, for all my bombast and insults, I don’t lie about Kim. I haven’t stated one intentional falsehood about her, ever, and I am certain I’ve made next no unintentional ones as well. At worst, I’ve speculated about things I can’t technically know. And that brings me to another aspect of the asymmetry at work here. Imagine what would happen in the following scenario:
Kim uncovers evidence of me claiming that I had earned a master’s degree in biology, or had worked for NASA, or had run a 2:17 marathon, or making some other easily disprovable statement of fact. I delete this in horror after sobering up, or finding out she was watching, but not before she’s taken a screen shot of it.
There would be no fucking end to the flogging she’d give me over this. She might even be willing to use her own name to do it, though she’s such a cowardly shit, I doubt it. And you know what? This would be a well-earned rebuke, even given the source.
Now consider the sheer number of fucked-up, out-of-this-world lies Kim has told and that I’ve documented over the years. I don’t have to link to any because that’s basically what this whole section of the Chimp Refuge is about. She does virtually nothing but lie; at any time, she’s either fabricating her own achievements or exaggerating — or more often, plain lying about — my setbacks and misdeeds, usually both at the same time. Anyone who doesn’t believe she needs to be tossed into a psych unit and loaded with enough haloperidol to kill a cow is either a fan if uncontrolled social chaos, a pure sadist, or both.
Speaking of Lize, she’s grown even more tired of Kim’s shit, too, and is not the pushover Kim believes she is. Sooth.
What’s going to happen soon is this: I’ll be uploading portions of the audio from the court appearance Kim and I had on March 14, 2016. This was made necessary by Kim filing a false police report, a crime, and subsequently submitting a restraining-order petition filled with lies, also a crime. She escaped being prosecuted for these lies for the simple reason that if the law decided to clamp down on every raving fucking loon like Kim who gums up the system with arrant nonsense, they’d have to build a new wing at every county jail. But the transcripts and audio of this court date represent, to put it mildly, a supreme embarrassment for Kim. You’ll get to hear her stammer about the nonexistent limited liability company she long claimed to own, the nonexistent jobs she’s claimed to have in online resumes, and the undiluted craziness of the accusations she made against me. Believe me, she is just as fucking pathetic and nutty in person as her postings make her appear. She speaks in a quavering falsetto, as all liars should. It’s bad. I was shocked myself, and still am to some extent; keep in mind that before that court appearance, I had only spoken to Kim in person three times in my life.
I no longer want to just stop her from doing things like this. I want her to feel extraordinary levels of shame and despair. I want her to wobble through her days awash in the reality of her own lack of human worth and absence of any sort of dignity. If that sounds cruel, excellent. Because I’m only taking practice swings at this point.
Long ago, when we were something akin to friends, Kim revealed to me all of her various weak spots. By then, I knew she also had a history of turning viciously on people after a while for no good reason. If she knew was going to turn on me, she shouldn’t have treated me as a confidant; having treated me as a confidant, she should have resigned herself to being unable to turn on me without consequence. Instead, muddle-minded cretin that she is, she’s chosen to turn on me, again and again, after telling me a great deal of things no one would want a sworn enemy to know.
Re-read all of this, and ask what you think you’d do if someone you helped achieve great things in good faith and with no hope of monetary compensation decided to devote her life to trying to ruin you and your closest friends with lies and worse, and shit on your dead friends to do it. Please try to imagine that, and decide if anything I’ve written here or anywhere about Kimberly S. Duclos is overly harsh.