Adventures in courtroom lying, part 4: Kim Duclos is extremely chill for a petrified person

This is the fourth in a series of posts about a March 14, 2016 court hearing pertaining to reciprocal restraining orders Kim Duclos (now operating as “I_Code _to _Yacht_Rock” on Reddit) and I had recently petitioned for. In addition to lying to the police on Feb. 26, 2016 about a nonexistent episode of harassment to trigger this whole mess and lying on a restraining-order petition the following Monday (Feb. 29, 2016), Kim lied repeatedly before a judge in court at the hearing (I think there’s a word for that) and has been periodically lying about both the nature of the hearing itself and events addressed in the hearing. She has also continued to hector my friends as well as attempt to interfere with my personal and business life. Ergo, this series of posts, which will reveal even more forcefully what a sociopathic and malevolent liar Kim Duclos is.

Moreover, Kim Duclos is a criminal. Lying to the police, on court paperwork, and in a court hearing itself are crimes, especially when you do make up these stories to try to get someone in trouble. As you’ll see throughout these posts, Kim has the personal ethics of a starving, drunken hyena. I want to emphasize this because of Kim’s frantic and throaty insistence that I’m a dangerous scofflaw myself. 

The audio clips were generated using Audacity and taken from the official .TRM files supplied to me by Boulder District Court. The audio itself has not been altered in any way. The hearing took place from 1:21 p.m. to 3:39 p.m. MST.

Today’s short (1-minute, 49-second) clip picks up the action where the last installment left off. In that gloriously incompetent example of seat-of-the-pants bullshitting, Kim stammered her way through a lie about me attacking her from a truck two weeks earlier. When you fill out a restraining-order petition, it invites you to describe not only the most recent incident that let you to seek the R.O., but as many other examples of your aggressor’s malfeasance as you can fit onto the page — hence this. Kim, who responds to unexpected opportunities to lie about things in roughly the same way ordinary people react to the prospect of a powerful orgasm, obligingly filled the paper with nonsense. Because she knew that everything she was writing wasn’t true, she probably kept details about these non-incidents to a minimum in an effort to look not so much credible but like less of a fabulist. It didn’t work, because she’s a fucking idiot with little imagination and even less composure.

This is the relevant accusation. The most striking thing is that Kim says this incident took place at least six months before the most recent one, yet despite supposedly being somewhere between terrified and troubled, she never reported it to the police or even blogged about it, and later couldn’t remember not only the date but even the month in which it took place.

Although I am (thankfully) not a lawyer, I’m certain that when you accuse someone of an act of harassment or the like but cannot narrow down the timing of this alleged offense to within a reasonably small window, you have no case. Even if someone actually attacks you, if you can’t do any better than “It was sometime last July” eight months later, you won’t get anywhere because virtually no one living in a given city can prove that he or she wasn’t in a given place in the city in question at least once over the course of a summer or whatever. Kim probably wasn’t expecting this section of the R.O. paperwork, with this being her first formal foray into perjury, and when she saw it she probably figured her chances of not being outright accused of lying was to simply have no clue when this happened other than “summer 2015.”

I’m not entirely sure why she decided to list “cross-country course” as the location, since that could be almost anywhere. Someone whose mind wasn’t a war zone of anxiety and corrupt ideas might have at least aimed for a formal name or address, like “Buffalo Ranch” or “C.U. South Campus.” Again, though, I assume that when one knows she will be lying to a judge, she probably doesn’t want to spend any more time pondering the details than she has to. Regardless, here’s a map of the area in question. When Kim talks about a parking lot, she’s talking about the dirt patch north of the tennis courts and west of the triangular pond. It’s the only way in and out of C.U. South Campus (“Buffalo Ranch,” where the U. of Colorado teams stage home cross-country meets) by vehicle, a fact that is somewhat germane to Kim’s false testimony.

Kim’s story: Her lawyer, as you may recall, had checked out by this point and was clearly aching to go home or tip a few beers somewhere. He fittingly isn’t sure if this incident took place at a track or whether it was on a cross-country course, and perhaps doesn’t know the difference. Kim claims she was running south “on the hill part,” like that would mean a goddamn thing to anyone in the room, when I spotted her coming toward me and gave chase when she turned around. She says that there were people in the parking lot (on summer days, there always are) and that she wanted to be around them for safety, and says this took place in “late July-ish, I don’t have dates.” She cannot even describe in rough terms where in Boulder this tract of land is, which is probably the result of her being at least a little nervous about saying knowingly false shit up in court, her sociopathic tendencies notwithstanding.

The best part is this: “I heard yelling and swearing, I can’t pick out words, I mean I just know. It was…yelling and chasing.” How does one verify that words are curses when one cannot hear them? Was she reading my lips from a hundred yards out?

She then says she “booked it” back to the parking lot while assuring the court “I’m not fast” (all the better to portray herself as a helpless victim, I guess). It gets really weird here, because Kim says she “just hung around the parking lot for a little bit around people,” as if anyone who had just been chased by someone she had every reason to believe was dangerous — and was almost guaranteed to return to the parking lot himself at some point — would be inclined to just chill out. Also, if there were people around, why didn’t any of them notice this event? Wouldn’t Kim have told at least one of them “Hey, there’s some screamin’ maniac out there”? The cops would have been called for sure.

But was she supposedly sitting in her car or was she just standing there? She never actually says how she got to Buffalo Ranch (the parking lot is maybe 1.5 to 2 miles from her boyfriend’s apartment) for this ill-fated run and her lawyer doesn’t ask. Her lawyer asks, pointlessly, “Did you continue your run?” and Kim gibbers in her impressively annoying voice, “No, I headed home after sitting around for a bit.” When her lawyer, who at this point is seemingly intent on making things even worse for the sheer anarchic joy of it, asks, “Why didn’t you continue your run?” she responds “I just wanted to get home” — which is consistent with someone who’d just experienced a frightening episode, but utterly at odds with everything had just tumbled out of the anus-like aperture above her chin.

The actual story: Well, I can’t prove that I was never at Buff Ranch in the summer of 2015, but, assuming anyone needs any further convincing that this is horseshit, have a look at the next blog entry Kim made after this hearing, about six weeks after the court appearance. She conspicuously doesn’t mention it, so busy was she expelling a series of lies about what she was up to and what she would soon accomplish. Note that her last entry before this one was in June of 2015, not long before the supposed Buff Ranch pursuit and after at least one of the times I supposedly went after her. Nowhere on this blog does she mention any of these supposed harassment episodes (and in case you missed this before, she deleted the original blog over a year and a half ago, but I retained a copy for my records and still have it cached in Feedly, which is how I mirrored it on Blogger).

I remind you all that the reason I waited this long to undertake this dubious audio-files project is that for much of the past 30 or so months, I hoped against all reason that Kim’s rage toward me would burn out on its own, or that she’s at least find some other baseless grudge for he enfeebled, tortured mind to seize on and beat to death in some Internet hidey-hole. Instead, she’s carried on in the manner of other constitutionally damaged and poisonous people whose caregivers allow them Internet access, jumping into battles that aren’t hers, lashing out at my friends, and forgetting that vengeance is the last emotion she ever should have felt toward me or any of the others who helped her better negotiate a world her own hapless self is unfit to handle all.

Addendum: Just today, Kim posted this on Reddit.

This is not her first mention of being formerly “surrounded by angry people for a long time.” I mean, she appears to obviously talking about me here, but when she goes off on these stupid rants it’s as if she genuinely forgets that she and I have spent virtually no time in the same room.

Other than that, it’s just the usual bizarre rendition of a private reality in which Kim is a saint whose life is on an even keel and everyone else she knows is an aggressor whose lives are fucked up. This is someone who has made it her primary mission in life to piss people off, and now that she’s gotten more pushback than she ever thought she would, she’s acting surprised and indignant. She’s as daft as she is emotionally and mentally unstable.

She knows quite well by this time that her goals are far out of reach and that she’s resigned to a life of depending on handouts until her current benefactor tires of her antics and ships her back to Worcester or some other hopefully distant destination, yet she insists on trying to convince random Redditors, who aren’t reading her nonsense anyway, that she has come out on top despite the evil forces of the world being aligned against her. I don’t know how anyone’s mind can get things so completely backward, yet here we are: Kim has spent years being a taker and lashing out at those who have helped her the most, and yet she carries on as if she’s been minding her business all along, working innocently toward a variety of doctorate degrees while various drunken, homeless aggressors try to ruin her ambitions. It’s like she thinks she’s living in a zombie movie, with all of the zombies being especially skinny because they’re all distance runners and able to move about with ease despite catastrophic blood alcohol levels. I don’t know how much of this she actually believes, but I know she’s annoying as can be.

Kim refers to my behavior as “out of control” for the simple reason that she cannot control what I write about her. It’s literally out of her control. She fucked up, not just once or twice but dozens of times, and that’s just in regard to her conduct toward me. She knows she’s been nothing but a shit-encrusted wrecking ball, completely needy yet without a hint of grace or class in any of her dealings with others. She would really love to purge this de facto demon, but has no idea how, and besides, being a piece of shit is simply too comfortable an identity for her to give up.

Anyway, these court clips and the accompanying texts are designed to become progressively less flattering over time. I’ve already written 90 percent of the next one, and when I decide to publish it I’ll have written 90 percent of the one that follows. None of this is a matter of whimsy (and if you pronounce that “hwimsy,” I am coming after you).

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