The public cocoon

The world’s full of ignorant and constitutively unintelligent people. As the emergence of the Internet has shown, this shambling and insufferable army of halfwits is just as eager to offer opinions as those who can actually read, think, and process information above what I’d refer to as a simian level if I were fucking drunk and feeling less than charitable. Among these hominid-pundits who technically qualify as human beings are Gribbit and Ikester7579 (Andrew Richardson and Isaac Bourne respectively). If I were indeed plastered and inclined to engage in facile ways to upset these assholes, I’d write this post in a manner that would force Google to index additional evidence of the haplessness of Andrew Richardson of Dayton, Ohio (Gribbit) and Isaac Bourne of Jacksonville (Ikester 7579) and link it to their real names.

That dumbasses want to be heard just as much as others do is not at all surprising; in fact, it’s to be expected, and at some level it’s even acceptable. Before the Web, fuckheads who in a sensible world keep their delusions and misapprehensions to themselves had few options for sharing them beyond the walls of their trailers and group homes. They could disseminate their useless ideas was by writing incoherent letters to newspapers, creating illegible newsletters, and meeting in the basement of Cletus’ Snack Shack in Twat Rot, Alabama to trade insights about how to best deal with Negroes, liberals, the godless and other enemies of the trout-faced and toothless. Beyond that? Not much; functional illiterates have a hard time infiltrating higher-visibility venues such as the mainstream media, colleges, and book publishers (all of which are controlled by vindictive, godless Jew-communists anyway). Continue reading “The public cocoon”

“It’s not your average creation video”

This is true only to the extent that the video in question is narrated by a young-earth whackjob who looks and sounds disturbingly like Richard Dawkins. Watching the video is thus much like watching George Carlin deliver a speech in an impassive monotone about how bright and charming most people are, or seeing Sarah Palin offer her latest insights about superstring theory. Other than that, though, it’s standard creationist bullshit — allege that something that real scientists have elucidated is actually a quandary for them, then solve a nonexistent problem (or more to the point, something that is a problem only for YECs) by throwing up a Biblical model in its place. Boilerplate drivel.

You may have noticed that the guy who operates this blog, Ikester, himself doesn’t possess an especially deep understanding of that which he purports to debunk: Continue reading ““It’s not your average creation video””

The KKK wants its utopian vision of America back

Whoops, sorry. Not the Klan but the Tea Party, not that I doubt that this wild-eyed idiot from Jacksonville owns a white hood or two.

I remember being a kid and hearing the joke “I don’t hate blacks, I think everyone should own one!” Even the ten-year-olds slinging that one around understood that it was both ironic and in poor taste. Amazingly, there are people like Grady Warren who manage to reach adulthood fully believing that as long as you declare yourself to be a non-racist while you detail a long list of deficiencies you believe are the sole purview of certain ethnic groups, then you’re not racist.

These people are fascinating in that they continually force other teabaggers into scrambling to deploy the “No true Scotsman” fallacy. There are plenty of people who consider themselves Tea Partiers solely because they want to pay fewer taxes, just as there are fiscal conservatives who will always vote Republican even though they have no use for religion and climate-change denialism. Too bad — everyone wants to pay fewer taxes the last time I checked, and regardless of whatever the people behind the “real” teabagger movement supposedly wanted when they kicked the whole circus into action, it’s nothing but a teeming refuge of ugly hypocrites and the worst shitbags the United States has to offer. I’m sure all of these visionaries like Grady Warren are quite pleased that Ron Paul Font color=red>is popularly portrayed as someone who doesn’t much care fer nigras, Jews, and faggits hisself neither.

The “America” these rednecks yearn for has never existed except in the hollowed-out caverns of their own minds. The last time anything close to it did exist, it was a chunk of land that was technically no longer part of the same country. Really, it would just be so much more pleasant for everyone else if these worthless hominids would just gather in some forgotten place where they could make their own laws and currency, be as white and proud as possible, not pay taxes, and see how long their post-intellectual civilization could exist.

(NOTE: Addendum in red made at 10:48 p.m. EDT. Someone pointed out that the New Republic article I linked to was written by someone who has been widely denounced as a left-wing hack. Some comments Paul made recently about an experience with abortion he had as medical intern took some of the shine off of him in my eyes, but that doesn’t have anything to do with whether the racism label is well-earned or not at all earned. It’s the fact that Paul is perceived by a lot of racists as someone who sympathizes with their views that is most important, and if the label isn’t appropriate then chalk up another score for shitty journalism.)

Not to *directly* compare Michele Bachmann to the Ebola virus…

…but whenever I’m exposed to images and sounds of her, it’s like my internal organs are liquefying, a thermonuclear popcorn popper filled with ground glass is roaring away inside my skull, and my eyeballs are being burned out with nitric acid. I stress that I’m not being insensitive to victims of fatal viral illnesses here, and it is not an ideal comparison.

That’s essentially the latest from the studiously unhinged sort-of-almost-candidate-for-president Michele Bachmann, the proudly mindless congresswoman from a rich district in Minnesota who — along with Romney and Bloomberg and no small handful of others and now the Trump ape — epitomizes the reality of political aspirations these days: They’re about wealthy people entertaining themselves, not about wanting to lead, for better or for worse. Continue reading “Not to *directly* compare Michele Bachmann to the Ebola virus…”

When did the U.S. Armed Forces start giving jobs to refugees from Mike Judge cartoons?

Never mind the flagrantly stupid things the original poster in this message-board thread says. Even if you happen to believe that gays and women are inferior in some way, you should still be startled by this level of incoherence: Continue reading “When did the U.S. Armed Forces start giving jobs to refugees from Mike Judge cartoons?”