Adventures in courtroom lying, part 2: Kim Duclos falsely accuses a runner of cheating (audio)

This is the second in a series of posts about a March 14, 2016 court hearing pertaining to reciprocal restraining orders Kim Duclos and I had recently petitioned for. In addition to lying to the police on Feb. 26, 2016 about a nonexistent episode of harassment to trigger this whole mess and lying on a restraining-order petition the following Monday (Feb. 29, 2016), Kim lied repeatedly before a judge in court at the hearing (I think there’s a word for that) and has been periodically lying about both the nature of the hearing itself and events addressed in the hearing. She has also continued to hector my friends as well as attempt to interfere with my personal and business life. Ergo, this series of posts, which will reveal even more forcefully what a sociopathic and malevolent liar Kim Duclos is.

Moreover, Kim Duclos is a criminal. Lying to the police, on court paperwork, and in a court hearing itself are crimes, especially when you do make up these stories to try to get someone in trouble. As you’ll see throughout these posts, Kim has the personal ethics of a starving, drunken hyena. I want to emphasize this because of Kim’s frantic and throaty insistence that I’m a dangerous scofflaw myself. 

The audio clips were generated using Audacity and taken from the official .TRM files supplied to me by Boulder District Court. The audio itself has not been altered in any way. The hearing took place from 1:21 p.m. to 3:39 p.m. MST.

This picks up where the last installment left off, a little over halfway through the proceeding.

Because Kim Duclos is saddled a with very low level of social awareness, leaving her unable to perceive how her words and actions look to normal people, she made some strange choices in terms of what to present to the court to show that I was supposedly harassing her. Even less helpful were her attempts to refute allegations that she herself was a shit-stirring, lying loon. One of these was was her attempt to explain my website reference to her accusing a New Hampshire runner who was one of my teammates in my CMS days of cheating to win a race that he didn’t even finish. Here are the results.

The link in this passage goes to a screen shot of the public Facebook conversation, which occurred almost a year before Kim’s and my court appearance and was forwarded to me in real time by one of the numerous parties who were already aware of her aggressively off-kilter ways.

At the start of today’s episode of How Do People Get This Fucked Up and Shitty?, an Exhibit 11 was newly under discussion. This item was part of a packet prepared by Kim’s lawyer, who was late to the hearing and came across as some combination of dumb, unmotivated, and under-prepared. The two of them had not actually met before the hearing; I discovered during the proceedings that Kim had e-mailed him a bunch of stuff and he’d entered it all into the record without, in many cases, even knowing why it was there.

Exhibit 11 included a capture of a Facebook message I had recently sent to a quasi-friend of Kim’s (they’re not friends now) plus the screen shot noted above. I’ve magnified that screen shot by breaking it into chunks here. Read the rest of this entry »



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Adventures in courtroom lying, part 1: Kim Duclos dissembles about our “relationship” (audio)

This is the first in a series of posts about a March 14, 2016 court hearing pertaining to reciprocal restraining orders Kim Duclos and I had recently petitioned for. In addition to lying to the police on Feb. 26, 2016 about a nonexistent episode of harassment to trigger this whole mess and lying on a restraining-order petition the following Monday (Feb. 29, 2016), Kim lied repeatedly before a judge in court at the hearing (I think there’s a word for that) and has been periodically lying about both the nature of the hearing itself and events addressed in the hearing. She has also continued to hector my friends as well as attempt to interfere with my personal and business life. Ergo, this series of posts, which will reveal even more forcefully what a sociopathic and malevolent liar Kim Duclos is.

Moreover, Kim Duclos is a criminal. Lying to the police, on court paperwork, and in a court hearing itself are crimes, especially when you do make up these stories to try to get someone in trouble. As you’ll see throughout these posts, Kim has the personal ethics of a starving, drunken hyena. I want to emphasize this because of Kim’s frantic and throaty insistence that I’m a dangerous scofflaw myself. 

The audio clips were generated using Audacity and taken from the official .TRM files supplied to me by Boulder District Court. The audio itself has not been altered in any way. The hearing took place from 1:21 p.m. to 3:39 p.m. MST.

I’m starting in the middle because overall, this makes the most sense. This clip starts at 2:40 p.m., about halfway through the entire charade. Here, Kim’s lawyer asks her to explain what kicked off our coach-athlete relationship.

Before giving this a listen, bear in mind that Kim at various times since this court proceeding has declared that I never coached her at all. Here’s one example, an e-mail she sent to USATF-New England in early June of this year.

This message, sent in reference to an interview Kim gave without my knowledge in December 2009 or January 2010, actually includes numerous lies, at least one of which could get her sued. But for now, focus on the “I have never had any connection to Beck” part, which is ludicrous even by the standards of Kim’s unrestrained dissembling. This is someone who has repeatedly referred to me as an abusive coach, a drunken coach, a failed coach, et cetera (and by the way, we’ve only been in the same room three times not including this court appearance, never alone and never when anyone was drinking, unless Kim herself was sneaking a few nips).

In this 3-minute, 37-second MP3 clip, Kim gives her version of events. I will describe what she says and intersperse commentary, but will reserve my most pointed editorializing until the end of the post. Read the rest of this entry »


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The limitless extent of Kim Duclos’ dark obsession, and why this “fight” is asymmetrical

I’ll cheerfully admit that I waste a lot of time writing about a person who, in addition to being uncommonly malicious and motivated by imaginary offenses against her, is clearly disturbed. She isn’t likely to curb her behavior as long as she has a man with particular sexual tastes providing her with food, lodging and Internet access. She has very little to lose by continuing to wage war against facts, decency, and reality itself; as she is well aware but would never admit, it’s not as if she has, or ever will have, a professional reputation to protect, and everyone who is familiar with her has known for a long time that she is somewhere between vaguely antisocial at best and the kind of person you’d never want young children or even pets around at worst. Since I’ve started blogging about her, a few people in her former running club in Central Massachusetts have shared with me impressions they had of her without knowing her especially well, and have assured me that, while the things I’ve described in the past 2 1/2 years on my blogs and website have been eyebrow-raising in scope, none of her actions toward me are especially surprising in light of what these observers already perceived. In short, Kim has always been a jabbering fuckup, and it’s not as if she could hide this even if she wanted to.

One might make the argument (though to my knowledge no one has done so) that I’m just pouring gasoline on a tire fire by continuing to deride her here and on Twitter. But the undeniable reality is that Kim rants about me even when she doesn’t think I’m watching. Even ignoring the fact that she started all of this shit almost five years ago merely because I fired her as a non-paying, non-training coaching client who only wanted to use me as an audience-of-one for her ranting about her boy-problems and her struggles with drinking, this is not a symmetrical dispute. This is because, simply put, when Kim shuts up, I quickly start to forget she’s even out there even though her unseemly carcass is planted only a mile or so from where I live. I do, unlike Kim, have work to do, friends to see, hobbies other than online trolling to pursue, and a beautiful dog to spoil. Kim, in contrast, has been lying and complaining about me without pause since she moved to Boulder toward the end of 2014 — a move I’d bet my life savings would never had happened if I hadn’t already been living there myself.

For example, having worn out her welcome on various running forums long ago, she took to Reddit in 2017 and started in with her shit about me there. Again, remember that she didn’t think at the time I would ever see this stuff. (In a few cases, she was almost right, but I have friends in Boulder who read Reddit when they feel like surveying what the Internet’s anonymous trolling forces are up to, and Kim’s electronic ass-prints are unmistakable when you’ve had any exposure to her manic, disjointed rambling and the things she can’t help but mention.)

Again, please keep in mind my main point here as you read. Yeah, it may look like a case of he-said-she-said on the surface, especially if you don’t know the whole backstory (though no one I’m aware of has suggested as much). But not once have I posted about Kim spontaneously, or merely because it occurred to me that she’s probably sitting around being a piece of shit because that’s what she’s always been and all she’s capable of being. Everything I’ve written has been a reaction to some kind of bullshit she’s lobbed onto the Internet, or an e-mail she’s sent to spread lies about me.

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On how many fronts is Kim Duclos hilarious?

Well, she managed to get booted from a forum specifically set aside for the full-throated tearing apart of other people. That qualifies as hilarious, even if Kim Duclos‘ intentions are always anything but funny.

I’ve finally accepted the most likely explanation for why Kim — last seen wandering the Meadows Plaza shopping center looking like about 170 pounds of shit jammed into a sandwich bag — refuses to stop lobbing turds in my direction, and why she persists despite her salvos not merely being ineffectual but clearly backfiring. (In addition to “Because she’s a fucking psychopath,” I mean. There are levels in play here.)  The explanation I’ve come to terms with not only is unsettling, but also has become increasingly impossible to deny. I’ve tried to reject the whole idea despite compelling evidence in its favor. because it makes me literally nauseous, and I’m using the world “literally” with full command of the implications.

Kim has always been vicious to the women I’m close to because of garden-variety jealousy. She’s jealous of most women, but virulently angry at the women she knows or knows of with whom I’ve associated with me in a romantic way. (That ain’t a super-long list of women, in case you were in suspense about that.)

Numerous people have told me that this actually couldn’t have been more obvious from the very start, and they have laughed at my efforts to dismiss it. My own therapist has begun trying to persuade me of what she sees as plain-vanilla reality. I can now appreciate why, as I’m accepting that all of these people are correct. Why else would Kim harbor so much undisguised vitriol toward these women — who, by the way, never had a bad thing to say about Kim until she started in with this horseshit?

At any rate, it’s become undeniable. The facts are that Kim 1) doesn’t merely lie, but asserts the precise opposite of reality at every opportunity — I’m still not convinced this opposite-girl stuff doesn’t give her orgasms — and 2) has made repeated recent mention of how many times she supposedly “turned me down.” Taken together, these facts point at a conclusion is as clear as it is revolting, even in the absence of any knowledge of Kim’s attitude toward my lady-friends. I won’t explore it any more than I need to, which is to say that I would begin removing parts of my anatomy with a sharp implement before agreeing to have any “relations” with Kim Duclos for any amount of money. Hell, I don’t even think she’s any more capable of giving informed consent than a prize Holstein.

Anyway, enough background. Kim posted this on Reddit today:

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Not quite making history (or its channel), and an asshole sounds off again

In May 2017, I was contacted via Facebook Messenger by a television producer from the Pilgrim Media Group about being in a prospective History Channel documentary about the 1986 Space Shuttle Challenger disaster, which killed a teacher at my high school along with six other astronauts. The producer had found my posts on this blog from 2007 (aggregated here) and assumed, correctly, that I would be willing to appear in the documentary, assuming it was in fact produced.

We spoke on the phone for over an hour. Despite how often I have revisited January 28, 1986 in the past 32-plus years, I found myself far more expansive and animated at times than I ever expected to be, as well experiencing a wider and more potent array of emotions. As it happens, writing about something is not nearly as evocative of memories and feelings as is discussing it, even on the phone and even with a stranger.

Unfortunately, as happens so often in the TV business, the documentary – which would have aired on Jan. 28, 2018, the 32nd anniversary of the disaster – was never made, and as a result I obviously didn’t appear in it.

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Desperate measures

Kim Duclos wrote stuff.


Paragraph 1: Kim, with an astonishing lack of comprehension of how insane her output appears even to a Kim-naive observer, tries to convince herself that none of what I’ve written about her bothers her, that no one who reads the stuff believes it, and that she has allies in her fight against “abuse.”

Paragraph 2: Kim — a social recluse who has no contacts in Boulder I know of and probably none that I don’t — invents a local ally who sympathizes with her, doesn’t like me, and has the influence to limit my social contacts. This is one of her recurrent themes: She doesn’t have any friends besides Sean, who is really more of a caregiver than a boyfriend to Kim, so she overreaches by a factor of about 50 in trying to portray herself as having defenders.

Paragraph 3: Another reiteration of “He doesn’t bother me or interfere with my amazing life at all, so I’m just gonna rant every day about him until he stops.”

FIGURE 1: A crazy mofo is on another determined Reddit roll Read the rest of this entry »

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Kim Duclos tells stories…and may actually be dangerous

Kim Duclos, a flagrant liar and shitbag who takes exception to being called a lying bag of shit, doesn’t like it when people make fun of the absurdities she posts to Reddit, the one place she feels safe spinning and spouting angry fictions about leading an amazing life despite the devious ways of her loathsome adversaries. She’s used no fewer than seven Reddit handles in the last year: duclok2, i_climb_rocks_a_lot, Kitty_BunBuns_, HungryBuffsDriver, Legal_Throwaway34, Literal_Crap_Bag, and iCodeToYachtRock. She used duclok2 to lie about her academic history, whereas she’s dedicated the others almost entirely to posting lies about me and my friends.

She has recently settled exclusively on iCodeToYachtRock even though she knows I and my friends are having a field day on Twitter with the garbled-ass nonsense she catapults into Reddit-space using that moniker. For a while, I, not knowing what it’s like to inhabit the mind of a mentally troubled moron, couldn’t help but wonder why she didn’t at least create yet another handle so that she could try to fly under the radar for a while. But because of my inexperience at being a worthless loon, I had it all wrong. You see, it doesn’t bother Kim that no one actually cares about her fables, or that any discerning person who reads her posts even without any foreknowledge of her antics can immediately see that she’s both full of shit and utterly bonkers. All that matters to Kim is that she gets to say something dishonest on the Internet and it won’t be deleted as long as she doesn’t name names.

This is basically the life Kim has settled into for good: Get online every day and courageously continue to craft a life that bears little relationship to reality, and blame every single one of the many things she’s fucked up on someone or something else. She is the epitome of someone who has absolutely no worthwhile purpose except for playing out the string until the lights blessedly go out for good (more on the dire implications of this later in the post). Read the rest of this entry »

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Kim Duclos very stalkerishly describes tracking an imaginary stalker

(TL;DR version: Is my own life imitating my own art? I’m tempted to call the cops to tell them that an established nutbag who lives a mile from me is chasing me around with a camera and claiming this is evidence of me stalking her.)

Kim Duclos, having given up last spring on posting her delusional output under her own name, has found what she feels is a comfortable enough home in the one Internet wildfire where no one gives a fuck if you’re lying, and where outrageous bullshit is in fact widely encouraged: Reddit. Absent anything better to do when her carcass isn’t being trundled to edifying events like Burning Man or death-metal concerts, she frequents an impressive range of subreddits, usually but not always under the handle “iCodeToYachtRock.” Here, her efforts to pose as an authority on the topic at hand are unintentionally hilarious thanks to her constitutional inability to perceive how her garbled rambling presents to people who are actually knowledgeable about these topics.

While Kim’s attempts to impersonate a future computer-science doctoral student and someone with a current programming job are good theater, she has so far reserved her best work for the subreddit called “Narcissist Abuse,” where people who believe that they have been traumatized by dangerous, self-absorbed people post like dangerously self-absorbed lunatics. Okay, not all of them do, but it’s fair to say that after a certain point, if you think your ex is a total narcissist, you might want to ask why you’re on an Internet forum complaining vociferously about his or her supposed fixation on you. And I’m probably being unfair to some real abuse victims by lumping them into the same category as Kim, whose only experience with a narcissistic mind is the feeble one trapped inside her thick skull.

Check out this thread. The original poster’s situation is irrelevant to Kim, because she just uses the presumably real pain and grief of others as a springboard to launch into her own lies, being, you know, not just a flamboyant liar but a grade-A fucking narcissist.

I really don’t think exhaustive table-setting is required to convince anyone that sane people do not churn words and phrases and ideas like this.  Read the rest of this entry »

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A solemn anniversary

A year ago today, Kim Duclos had a classic meltdown. She had just learned that Lize, Brad and I had co-written a book called “Young Runners at the Top” and had given a public talk about the book at the Boulder Bookstore five days earlier. Kim, whose already lackluster life stalled completely when she gave up serious running before she was even 30 and has been going in reverse ever since, absolutely couldn’t abide by people she likes to trash for no good reason being recognized in a positive way, so she did one of the few things that affords her a special-needs adult’s equivalent of sexual gratification and took to for another classic rampage.

I’m not sure what her initial post consisted of because the Letsrun mods — who, while unconcerned with shitflinging on that message board in general, have been wise to Kim Duclos’s bullshit for years — deleted it before I or anyone I know could spot and collect it. But a friend diligently began capturing the inevitable HOW DARE YOU DELETE THE FUCKING LIES I POST HERE, YOU DICKWADS outbursts that followed. Read the rest of this entry »


Five in eight Americans can now identify thermonuclear-scale bullshit as bullshit

Pro-reason Americans can, I suppose, take solace in the 38% figure being the lowest in the 36-year-history of this poll from May 2017.

I take a perhaps more cynical view: Three in eight adult Americans subscribe to an obvious fairy tale (this poll isn’t about belief in god but in the Christian creation myth specifically). Another three in ten believe that “God” somehow “guided” this process, an idea that, while unsupported, is not flat-out stupid like creationism.

This wouldn’t be so bad if creationists didn’t try to push this nonsense into public schools with the unrelenting ferocity of starving termites, but if there’s one thing Evangelicals as a rule can do notoriously well, it’s behave very aggressively as if they don’t have anything resembling fully developed human brains inside their skulls. Read the rest of this entry »

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“Stupid is as stupid does” still evades smart people

Remember the scene in Forrest Gump where the title character finally decided to end his impromptu cross-country run, and his band of followers expected him to say something profound? And when he didn’t, they behaved as if he had anyway?

Forrest Gump had a heart of gold, but he was a garden-variety idiot. He was not naturally inclined toward philosophical profundity, but even had he been, he would have found himself incapable of it. His look of perpetual confusion was not an affectation. The only reason people believed he should express deep wisdom is because he was likable, physically gifted, kind, and found himself in a variety of extraordinary situations.

Remember the wisdom of director Robert Zemeckis the next time you or another pundit is trying to parse Donald Trump’s “deeper strategy.” Plenty of people who should know better continue to try to impart far-reaching meanings to his statements and actions, not because a single thing about them invites such an analysis but because he was elected President and must therefore possess some genius qualities, however occult. “A true halfwit could never have made it this far,” some of his detractors protest. (His fans think he’s smart as fuck, but that’s a given.) Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s time for Kim Duclos to quit lying about being an abuse victim (audio, anyone?)

Kim Duclos is never going to stop lying, any more than any other addict will quit indulging in a free and ubiquitous vice. She once declared to a good friend of mine, who’d been nice enough to let her room with her in Indiana, “I lie because it gets me what I want.” This was not long before she fled town owing my friend rent money and adding her to the interminable list of people she despises for no reason besides basic jealousy. The fact that Kim has undeniably reaped a great deal of pain from her dissembling habit, and has arguably ruined her own life beyond repair in the process, isn’t even on her radar, because she refuses to connect the dots between her own behavior and its negative consequences.

And really, watching her lie about her accomplishments and skills under various handles on Reddit (at least seven in the past eight or so months alone) is kind of funny. Reddit is a giant oozing anal wart of bullshit, anonymity, and resentment, making  it a perfect landing spot for her insatiable need to not only create an alternate reality, but publicize the details. When she burbles on with great confidence about things she knows next to nothing about, it’s like watching an oblivious character in a Judd Apatow or Coen Brothers film go on about his own panache and greatness even while the rest of the cast guffaws or gawks in horror. She’s back to pretending she has a full-time job in a tech field while pursuing the computer-science degree she’s been lying about chasing for close to four years now, all while not understanding or caring how the totality of her own comments across subreddits torpedoes her various claims — even in a shithole like Reddit where no one cares what you’ve supposedly done because so many others are also lying. She can prate on all she wants about the fictional existence she’s crafted in defiance of the reality that she’s a pissed-off stay-at-home toper and layabout who stands no chance of becoming an engineer; that’s her business and it doesn’t really hurt anyone else.

But, of course, most of her online flailing about is not so benign. She hasn’t stopped trying to interfere with my life in the exquisitely petty way of the powerless moron. She monitor my online tiffs with other drones and quietly gets involved, she tries to dissuade business entities from working with me, and she even attempted to get my website taken down because I have, you know, factual information posted about her there. This is all just in 2018.

Now there’s this beaut last from night Read the rest of this entry »

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Most habitual liars aren’t trying to convince *you* of anything

I’ve recently been watching someone use Reddit, the world’s largest and deepest online swamp of anonymous jibber-jabber, as a vehicle to propagate fantasy life but two (in one of them, she is supernaturally well adjusted, hands out advice no legitimate adviser would, and is a flagrant know-it-all; in the other, she’s a recently terminated drunken construction worker who only a few months ago was a luxury condo developer in the Boulder area).

Living under the illusion of being more accomplished, more loved and admired, more generous, more intelligent, more knowledgeable, and more goal-oriented than one actually is might be an amazing way to live if it were possible to maintain it. I suspect that many of us often rewind the tapes of our lives to some critical point, substitute a great outcome for the poor one that actually happened, and play the tape forward to the present just to imagine how things might be were it not for that one possibly awful choice or event. But most people aren’t loopy enough to transform “might-have-beens” or pipe dreams into online resumes or other fictitious accomplishments, because when people try to interface with the world as someone they’re not, the world tends to offer resistance.

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The U.S. President would call himself a giant pussy if he were his own foul twin

The U.S. President is an undisguised coward as well as vindictive and just plain infantile. It’s not enough that he can simply ignore questions reporters ask him, jowls askew in flustered agitation; he has to try to prevent the asking part, too.

This manifests in his schedule of rallies, too. He will only address crowds in abject Trumpist shitholes in places like West Virginia, Tennessee and Montana. These habits, combined with his conducting a “presidency” from behind Twitter, make him no different from every workaday right-wing blogger; they ban, block and delete all dissent, however civil, and can’t even be bothered to bullshit after a certain point — they merely hide.

Hopefully, when he finally kicks it, his unseemly carcass will be placed in a dunking booth filled with piss and shit and people can take turns wandering by and trying to hit the target from a reasonable distance, like ten feet. After every successful dunking, the carcass will be dutifully retrieved and returned to the booth seat for another round. After a few weeks and millions of happy dunkings, the mess and the stench will be sufficient to warrant moving on to the next step: a giant funeral pyre at a Superfund site somewhere in New Jersey.

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Kim Duclos, category 5 human cyclone, hankers for more “care and loving” toward people

(This post has been updated multiple times.)

One of my Boulder friends who’s become familiar with my dealings with Kim Duclos through following my writings and listening to my on-the-run stories was checking out the Boulder subreddit and happened across some comments that triggered his suspicion. He sent me a couple of screen shots and asked, “Don’t you think this sounds like Kim?”

I didn’t even have to look closely.  At some point in the not-too-distant past, Kim had “I code to yacht rock” in her Facebook introduction, and when I scanned the account’s comments page, I saw that one comment actually provides Kim’s former address in Worcester. Reading further, I quickly discovered exactly what I knew I would: a bunch of drivel in a subreddit for people who are victims of others’ behavior (yes, really) about how an unnamed drunken homeless schizophrenic pill-popping physically abusive liquor-store-robbing narcissist with bipolar disorder on welfare and food stamps (and yes she really said all of those things) was holding her back in life.



“Facts are your defense.” She has this part right, but she’s never in possession of actual facts.



Not that I need to say this, but I haven’t sent Kim any messages since I ended our coaching arrangement over four and a half years ago, and that was a formality since she was drinking, wasn’t training, and wasn’t paying me.

This is at least the sixth Reddit account Kim has created in just the past eight or so months that she’s used to jabber about me. The others are, let’s see, i_climb_rocks_a_lot, HungryBuffsDriver, Legal_Throwaway34, Literal_Crap_Bag (which she’s been using in parallel with iCodeToYachtRock), and Kitty_BunBuns_. She also used duclok2 for a while to lie about her academic history and aspirations.

The most jarring claim in her basket of lies is the one about how I was sexually interested in her and she rebuffed me several times. That’s not only extremely gross for obvious reasons, it’s also disturbing to know that the idea of the two of us being involved is clearly on her mind a lot. I never got the idea from her that she was interested in me in a “romantic” way (I use quotes because Kim is not capable of enjoying relationships that conform to any meaningful definition of romance), but we also spent virtually no time in the same room. Even today, outside of the time I had to sit in court with her crazy ass for a few hours after she lied to the police and on a restraining-order affidavit, I’ve only run into her in real life about four times, and only once since 2010. So who knows what she thinks. But the notion that she hopes to separate me from my exes or girlfriends, whom she calls “victims,” is troubling.

It is also funny that she claims to go months without looking at my accounts, yet somehow knows that my “social media is now everything loving dogs.”

She is a flamboyant and obvious liar, and she really can’t see that no one possessing a smidgen of discernment would believe her stories. The insane jibber-jabber she continually ejaculates only renders the few accurate things she says (usually by accident) almost as unbelievable. The Humane Society of Boulder Valley actually does conduct background checks on volunteers, but Kim wouldn’t know this because she’s lying about ever having applied. And the idea that I’m living on the streets wasted, yet somehow able to charm people on social media, is pure Kim; it reflects her own life of being wasted all the time and lying her ass off on social media.

This bit, back in the Boulder subreddit, really underscores the point:



Yeah, an apartment complex would be OK renting to a felon convicted of armed robbery, but the domestic violence on top of that would put the kibosh on the deal.

She writes, “I don’t use his past as a form of revenge. I would just use it privately in  situations such as that mentioned about.” This is true. Instead she uses lies about my past and present as a form of revenge for things I never did to her in the first place, and does this in public forums.

The depressing thing is that she’s been lying for long enough about all of this to appear convinced of the veracity of the core of it. Despite being routinely presented with the literally graphic evidence of her own lies (which is half the reason I write about her online),  she’s not dissuaded. This again comes back to the fact that while she is a shitbag of a human being, she’s also off her rocker, sometimes more than at other times. Whatever the balance of that mess is, it’s not going to go away because her useless boyfriend/caregiver isn’t interested in putting a dent in it as long as he can still enjoy some seriously kinky stuff with her (stuff she shared with me that I wont’t detail here). So this lunacy is just going to keep on keeping on, and I’ll keep finding ways to frame it as more funny than upsetting.

Update 1, July 20, 5:30 p.m.: Within the past hour, Kim has returned to her usual deranged nattering about carrying on some secret, meaningful life other than her actual one, which consists of being carted around to concerts and amusement parks between feedings and alcohol-soakings. This laughable claim to be employed is right up there with the fairy tales she was writing last summer about winning prize money at road races under fake names. She obviously doesn’t think at all before she rattles these tall tales off, because even though she is not very bright, she would at least be able to see that it’s not internally consistent in the least. “My lawyer just contacts anybody who might have to deal with stalker crap”? English much, Kim?

ICtRY legal advice

If she doesn’t want me “stalking” her, she should quit writing malicious lies about me and my friends. Simple as that. The fact that she doesn’t have a single person on this Earth who gives a stinking shit about her other than her caregiver/beau is her own goddamned fault.

Update 2, July 21, 7:40 p.m.: Kim, not surprisingly, deleted the above screed late last night or this morning. Also not surprisingly, she has replaced it with something equally stupid.


It’s true that it’s not possible to contact Kim’s friends or employer or say where she’s in school, for the same reason it’s not possible to contact unicorns or dragons or specify which NFL team I’ll be playing for this fall. It continues to amaze me that she persists with this bullshit while knowing that everyone she’s targeting with these details is laughing at her. This is someone who claimed last year to be winning money at road races under a fake name. This is someone who wrote on Twitter she had flown to a different part of the U.S. for a race and then was drunk and stupid enough to post a video of herself at a bar in Boulder that same night. This is someone who claimed for over a year to be employed at a Boulder business even though 1) this was absurd on its face, because Kim can’t do the sort of work this job would have required, and 2) she kept saying it was “in the canyon” (west of downtown) even though the business is actually in East Boulder. She also described doing things on the job that had nothing to do with this position. Finally one day for the fuck of it I contacted the business and let them know a flagrant lunatic had been claiming on a LinkedIn resume for at least a year to be employed by their small operation. They were not happy, and within a couple of days, no more LinkedIn resume. 

All of that lovely stuff about having a social life is what she desperately wishes she could enjoy, but she can’t, because every characteristic she attributes to me is actually one of her own defining traits: intoxicated, mood-disordered, and literally delusional at times.

Elsewhere on Reddit, Kim, in addition to rambling about her favorite liquor stores, is also jabbering on like a colleague to people who actually know or are legitimately studying computer science. Kim claimed in 2014 that she had enrolled at C.U. and would be completing a C.S. degree by the spring of 2018. Guess what? That time has come and gone, and she admitted last year on Reddit under a different username that she had “tried” a class at Front Range C.C. That’s it. Her pretending to have intentionally posted incorrect details about her plans to throw people like me off is a howl, given that she had no idea any of us were even looking at Reddit the whole time she was doing it. She was busted, she’s angry about it, and instead of giving up and accepting reality she’s doubling down on the lies.

You see, Kim is never going to be a computer programmer. Even without the boozing, she’d still have flagrant, uncontrolled mental problems. Even if some miracle drug was invented that could help her and she was actually compliant in taking it, all that would remain would be a relatively stable mind ill-equipped to handle the demands of higher-level math and logical frameworks in general. And she’s lazy anyway. As long as she has a caregiver/boyfriend willing to fund her life in exchange for whatever unmentionable favors she performs in return, that’s how she will exist, It’s a finite scheme — Sean won’t tolerate that mess forever — but for the time being it suits her purposes nicely, so there’s that. In that limited sense, she’s “winning” at life. Unlike most of us, who really do work and pay rent and behave somewhat responsibly, Kim receives booze money and sleeping quarters in exchange for cooking up revolting food and doing…other stuff. She might as well just admit this flat out instead of tacitly, because it’s the only way she’s going to have a place to stay.



A novel begging to be written

Last night, I got into it on a friend’s Facebook page with a couple of lost-cause right-wing fuckheads, clearly among the many millions of Americans who simply do not care that the U.S. president is turning out to be as bad or worse than even full-throated cynics realized. These assholes, being simpletons and Bible-boppers, come in one basic flavor. They parrot Fox News talking points that only come from Fox News, but claim, pointlessly, to collect their “info” from a variety of sources; they take great umbrage at not being treated civilly despite providing every imaginable rationale for being insulted in the extreme; and they never, fucking ever read any links you offer or show the slightest sign that they’re in it for any other reason but to make noise, making their pleas for civility even more inane than they would be already.

In response, I started calmly discussing why the U.S. might become a slightly less adversarial place for people with somewhat advanced forebrains if everyone could be reversibly sterilized at birth. I actually do think this would be a good idea, but it’s not something I would personally implement even if given the unique power to do so.

The first thing I usually do when some stranger concludes that I’m legitimately unhinged based on some throwaway Facebook comment is double down and expand on whatever idea I’ve introduced to see how far I can go before the other person recognizes that I’m kidding. Read the rest of this entry »

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Pervy pastors and the nature of the profession

A (trigger warning!) Florida man was arrested and fired from his job after being caught taking pictures up a woman’s skirt at his pace of work. That place of work was a church, the woman was a parishioner, and the man arrested is a pastor.

Serious question: Why don’t church leaders seem more concerned about the frequency with which this stuff happens, which in turn relates to how easy it evidently is to achieve the designation of “pastor”?

I figure that folks at the top don’t see any way to stop what people leading any of the thousands of congregations across the country are doing, or they don’t really care.
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13,850 to 0, 0 for 186, and Kim Duclos’ moral and mental deterioration progresses

Kim Duclos has been busy in the one place she continues to feel somewhat welcome: a Reddit forum for people with pernicious drinking problems they have no interest in addressing. That she feels comfortable in such a place is hardly extraordinary given the defining elements of her life these days. The telling aspect is that, even when surrounded exclusively by hammered depressives, she can’t avoid fighting with people, and she can’t be remotely honest even when she knows I and others are watching her antics.

Here’s the synopsis: Between November 2017 and January of this year, using three different Reddit accounts, Kim variously claimed to be an IT professional planning to return to school, a homeless Hungry Buffs driver, and a lawyer.

Having apparently not yet satisfied her appetite for self-degradation, she was back at it in March. This time, under the appropriate handle “Literal_Crap_bag,” she has claimed to be a condo-developer-turned-laborer, a single mom, and a drunk. Only one of these claims is true, and no one gets a prize for “guessing” which one that is.

How is it clear that this is Kim?  Well, first there was this, in the Boulder subreddit in late March. It concerns an imaginary incident in the parking lot of a local liquor store.

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Time to start collecting shitheads

Over 40% of eligible voters sat out the 2016 election. This would be a breathtaking statistic to anyone who hasn’t wandered outside recently and spent a few minutes in the company of typical American citizens. As a rule, we are a complacent, ignorant, and feeble-minded people. We love bullshit and peddlers of false hope like preachers and gurus. I don’t mean this unkindly, but even people who aren’t well off have known too much prosperity to demonstrate any sort of desperation about the government. This is perhaps best exemplified by all of the Obama-hating hillbillies who screamed about the last president being a socialist Muslim but also counted on their food stamps and newfound health insurance finding its way toward them thanks to policies that Democrats, for all of their flaws, support far more robustly than Republicans do.

Right now, I would guess that about 90% of ignorant people who routinely participate in important elections vote Republican. (Note that this is a different proposition than saying that 90% of Republicans are ignorant). Evangelical Christians may be a brainless and vile lot, but they have a certain mindless, insectile persistence when it comes to dragging themselves to the polls, where they reliably and proudly vote for whichever of the two or more people on offer is the bigger asshole and menace. Democrats may enjoy priding themselves on being nuanced and discriminating, but the current shitty state of things is largely attributable to the “Bernie or Bust” and third-party voters who apparently assumed things could only get so bad.
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A midsummer night’s dream sequence

I heard a cool story today. I don’t recall every detail, but here’s the gist:

Once upon a time not so long ago, this dude I know and a girl who had the hots for him took a rubber raft down the Merrimack River on a very warm July day. At some point the two of them got drunk on Schlitz to the sound of cows lowing away from both riverbanks, eventually inspiring the dude to push the chick over the side just to see what she might have been sitting on. She tumbled in backward, shoulder blades first and ass akimbo, which was nice. “JERK!” she yelled, tearing off her string bikini in consternation and following doggedly in his wake using a modified butterfly stroke. There were no witnesses. He tossed her a couple of beers and settled back for a nap.

After three hours and seven minutes of this, the dude, now awake, sunburned, and bored with the whole enterprise, steered the raft to shore, shed his homoerotic cut-off jeans shorts, and forcibly commandeered a 1967 Dodge Dart with bright yellow rocker panels from a blind yam salesman operating in a riverside park. He soon found himself driving down the Everett Turnpike, his nubile companion again seated beside him and — from the musky smell of things — uncommonly hot and bothered. (I’m just telling you what he said.) There was a decal of Yosemite Sam giving the finger pasted on the rear windshield. The oil light kept coming on even though the yam salesman had claimed to have dumped about four quarts into the crankcase that very day, so the dude became really angry and smashed in the dashboard display with his thumb. Then, while still doing seventy-five, he threw the door open, leaned way out and peered under the car, abrading his scalp on the pavement. He could see a veritable flood of oil spurting from the sagging engine block. This shit, he thought, should never happen with a Slant 6 engine. Read the rest of this entry »

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