The U.S. President is an undisguised coward as well as vindictive and just plain infantile. It’s not enough that he can simply ignore questions reporters ask him, jowls askew in flustered agitation; he has to try to prevent the asking part, too.
This manifests in his schedule of rallies, too. He will only address crowds in abject Trumpist shitholes in places like West Virginia, Tennessee and Montana. These habits, combined with his conducting a “presidency” from behind Twitter, make him no different from every workaday right-wing blogger; they ban, block and delete all dissent, however civil, and can’t even be bothered to bullshit after a certain point — they merely hide.
Hopefully, when he finally kicks it, his unseemly carcass will be placed in a dunking booth filled with piss and shit and people can take turns wandering by and trying to hit the target from a reasonable distance, like ten feet. After every successful dunking, the carcass will be dutifully retrieved and returned to the booth seat for another round. After a few weeks and millions of happy dunkings, the mess and the stench will be sufficient to warrant moving on to the next step: a giant funeral pyre at a Superfund site somewhere in New Jersey.
(This post has been updated multiple times.)
One of my Boulder friends who’s become familiar with my dealings with Kim Duclos through following my writings and listening to my on-the-run stories was checking out the Boulder subreddit and happened across some comments that triggered his suspicion. He sent me a couple of screen shots and asked, “Don’t you think this sounds like Kim?”
I didn’t even have to look closely. At some point in the not-too-distant past, Kim had “I code to yacht rock” in her Facebook introduction, and when I scanned the account’s comments page, I saw that one comment actually provides Kim’s former address in Worcester. Reading further, I quickly discovered exactly what I knew I would: a bunch of drivel in a subreddit for people who are victims of others’ behavior (yes, really) about how an unnamed drunken homeless schizophrenic pill-popping physically abusive liquor-store-robbing narcissist with bipolar disorder on welfare and food stamps (and yes she really said all of those things) was holding her back in life.
“Facts are your defense.” She has this part right, but she’s never in possession of actual facts.
Not that I need to say this, but I haven’t sent Kim any messages since I ended our coaching arrangement over four and a half years ago, and that was a formality since she was drinking, wasn’t training, and wasn’t paying me.
This is at least the sixth Reddit account Kim has created in just the past eight or so months that she’s used to jabber about me. The others are, let’s see, i_climb_rocks_a_lot, HungryBuffsDriver, Legal_Throwaway34, Literal_Crap_Bag (which she’s been using in parallel with iCodeToYachtRock), and Kitty_BunBuns_. She also used duclok2 for a while to lie about her academic history and aspirations.
The most jarring claim in her basket of lies is the one about how I was sexually interested in her and she rebuffed me several times. That’s not only extremely gross for obvious reasons, it’s also disturbing to know that the idea of the two of us being involved is clearly on her mind a lot. I never got the idea from her that she was interested in me in a “romantic” way (I use quotes because Kim is not capable of enjoying relationships that conform to any meaningful definition of romance), but we also spent virtually no time in the same room. Even today, outside of the time I had to sit in court with her crazy ass for a few hours after she lied to the police and on a restraining-order affidavit, I’ve only run into her in real life about four times, and only once since 2010. So who knows what she thinks. But the notion that she hopes to separate me from my exes or girlfriends, whom she calls “victims,” is troubling.
It is also funny that she claims to go months without looking at my accounts, yet somehow knows that my “social media is now everything loving dogs.”
She is a flamboyant and obvious liar, and she really can’t see that no one possessing a smidgen of discernment would believe her stories. The insane jibber-jabber she continually ejaculates only renders the few accurate things she says (usually by accident) almost as unbelievable. The Humane Society of Boulder Valley actually does conduct background checks on volunteers, but Kim wouldn’t know this because she’s lying about ever having applied. And the idea that I’m living on the streets wasted, yet somehow able to charm people on social media, is pure Kim; it reflects her own life of being wasted all the time and lying her ass off on social media.
This bit, back in the Boulder subreddit, really underscores the point:
Yeah, an apartment complex would be OK renting to a felon convicted of armed robbery, but the domestic violence on top of that would put the kibosh on the deal.
She writes, “I don’t use his past as a form of revenge. I would just use it privately in situations such as that mentioned about.” This is true. Instead she uses lies about my past and present as a form of revenge for things I never did to her in the first place, and does this in public forums.
The depressing thing is that she’s been lying for long enough about all of this to appear convinced of the veracity of the core of it. Despite being routinely presented with the literally graphic evidence of her own lies (which is half the reason I write about her online), she’s not dissuaded. This again comes back to the fact that while she is a shitbag of a human being, she’s also off her rocker, sometimes more than at other times. Whatever the balance of that mess is, it’s not going to go away because her useless boyfriend/caregiver isn’t interested in putting a dent in it as long as he can still enjoy some seriously kinky stuff with her (stuff she shared with me that I wont’t detail here). So this lunacy is just going to keep on keeping on, and I’ll keep finding ways to frame it as more funny than upsetting.
Update 1, July 20, 5:30 p.m.: Within the past hour, Kim has returned to her usual deranged nattering about carrying on some secret, meaningful life other than her actual one, which consists of being carted around to concerts and amusement parks between feedings and alcohol-soakings. This laughable claim to be employed is right up there with the fairy tales she was writing last summer about winning prize money at road races under fake names. She obviously doesn’t think at all before she rattles these tall tales off, because even though she is not very bright, she would at least be able to see that it’s not internally consistent in the least. “My lawyer just contacts anybody who might have to deal with stalker crap”? English much, Kim?
If she doesn’t want me “stalking” her, she should quit writing malicious lies about me and my friends. Simple as that. The fact that she doesn’t have a single person on this Earth who gives a stinking shit about her other than her caregiver/beau is her own goddamned fault.
It’s true that it’s not possible to contact Kim’s friends or employer or say where she’s in school, for the same reason it’s not possible to contact unicorns or dragons or specify which NFL team I’ll be playing for this fall. It continues to amaze me that she persists with this bullshit while knowing that everyone she’s targeting with these details is laughing at her. This is someone who claimed last year to be winning money at road races under a fake name. This is someone who wrote on Twitter she had flown to a different part of the U.S. for a race and then was drunk and stupid enough to post a video of herself at a bar in Boulder that same night. This is someone who claimed for over a year to be employed at a Boulder business even though 1) this was absurd on its face, because Kim can’t do the sort of work this job would have required, and 2) she kept saying it was “in the canyon” (west of downtown) even though the business is actually in East Boulder. She also described doing things on the job that had nothing to do with this position. Finally one day for the fuck of it I contacted the business and let them know a flagrant lunatic had been claiming on a LinkedIn resume for at least a year to be employed by their small operation. They were not happy, and within a couple of days, no more LinkedIn resume.
All of that lovely stuff about having a social life is what she desperately wishes she could enjoy, but she can’t, because every characteristic she attributes to me is actually one of her own defining traits: intoxicated, mood-disordered, and literally delusional at times.
Elsewhere on Reddit, Kim, in addition to rambling about her favorite liquor stores, is also jabbering on like a colleague to people who actually know or are legitimately studying computer science. Kim claimed in 2014 that she had enrolled at C.U. and would be completing a C.S. degree by the spring of 2018. Guess what? That time has come and gone, and she admitted last year on Reddit under a different username that she had “tried” a class at Front Range C.C. That’s it. Her pretending to have intentionally posted incorrect details about her plans to throw people like me off is a howl, given that she had no idea any of us were even looking at Reddit the whole time she was doing it. She was busted, she’s angry about it, and instead of giving up and accepting reality she’s doubling down on the lies.
You see, Kim is never going to be a computer programmer. Even without the boozing, she’d still have flagrant, uncontrolled mental problems. Even if some miracle drug was invented that could help her and she was actually compliant in taking it, all that would remain would be a relatively stable mind ill-equipped to handle the demands of higher-level math and logical frameworks in general. And she’s lazy anyway. As long as she has a caregiver/boyfriend willing to fund her life in exchange for whatever unmentionable favors she performs in return, that’s how she will exist, It’s a finite scheme — Sean won’t tolerate that mess forever — but for the time being it suits her purposes nicely, so there’s that. In that limited sense, she’s “winning” at life. Unlike most of us, who really do work and pay rent and behave somewhat responsibly, Kim receives booze money and sleeping quarters in exchange for cooking up revolting food and doing…other stuff. She might as well just admit this flat out instead of tacitly, because it’s the only way she’s going to have a place to stay.
Last night, I got into it on a friend’s Facebook page with a couple of lost-cause right-wing fuckheads, clearly among the many millions of Americans who simply do not care that the U.S. president is turning out to be as bad or worse than even full-throated cynics realized. These assholes, being simpletons and Bible-boppers, come in one basic flavor. They parrot Fox News talking points that only come from Fox News, but claim, pointlessly, to collect their “info” from a variety of sources; they take great umbrage at not being treated civilly despite providing every imaginable rationale for being insulted in the extreme; and they never, fucking ever read any links you offer or show the slightest sign that they’re in it for any other reason but to make noise, making their pleas for civility even more inane than they would be already.
In response, I started calmly discussing why the U.S. might become a slightly less adversarial place for people with somewhat advanced forebrains if everyone could be reversibly sterilized at birth. I actually do think this would be a good idea, but it’s not something I would personally implement even if given the unique power to do so.
The first thing I usually do when some stranger concludes that I’m legitimately unhinged based on some throwaway Facebook comment is double down and expand on whatever idea I’ve introduced to see how far I can go before the other person recognizes that I’m kidding. Read the rest of this entry »
A (trigger warning!) Florida man was arrested and fired from his job after being caught taking pictures up a woman’s skirt at his pace of work. That place of work was a church, the woman was a parishioner, and the man arrested is a pastor.
Serious question: Why don’t church leaders seem more concerned about the frequency with which this stuff happens, which in turn relates to how easy it evidently is to achieve the designation of “pastor”?
I figure that folks at the top don’t see any way to stop what people leading any of the thousands of congregations across the country are doing, or they don’t really care.
Read the rest of this entry »
Kim Duclos has been busy in the one place she continues to feel somewhat welcome: a Reddit forum for people with pernicious drinking problems they have no interest in addressing. That she feels comfortable in such a place is hardly extraordinary given the defining elements of her life these days. The telling aspect is that, even when surrounded exclusively by hammered depressives, she can’t avoid fighting with people, and she can’t be remotely honest even when she knows I and others are watching her antics.
Here’s the synopsis: Between November 2017 and January of this year, using three different Reddit accounts, Kim variously claimed to be an IT professional planning to return to school, a homeless Hungry Buffs driver, and a lawyer.
Having apparently not yet satisfied her appetite for self-degradation, she was back at it in March. This time, under the appropriate handle “Literal_Crap_bag,” she has claimed to be a condo-developer-turned-laborer, a single mom, and a drunk. Only one of these claims is true, and no one gets a prize for “guessing” which one that is.
How is it clear that this is Kim? Well, first there was this, in the Boulder subreddit in late March. It concerns an imaginary incident in the parking lot of a local liquor store.
Over 40% of eligible voters sat out the 2016 election. This would be a breathtaking statistic to anyone who hasn’t wandered outside recently and spent a few minutes in the company of typical American citizens. As a rule, we are a complacent, ignorant, and feeble-minded people. We love bullshit and peddlers of false hope like preachers and gurus. I don’t mean this unkindly, but even people who aren’t well off have known too much prosperity to demonstrate any sort of desperation about the government. This is perhaps best exemplified by all of the Obama-hating hillbillies who screamed about the last president being a socialist Muslim but also counted on their food stamps and newfound health insurance finding its way toward them thanks to policies that Democrats, for all of their flaws, support far more robustly than Republicans do.
Right now, I would guess that about 90% of ignorant people who routinely participate in important elections vote Republican. (Note that this is a different proposition than saying that 90% of Republicans are ignorant). Evangelical Christians may be a brainless and vile lot, but they have a certain mindless, insectile persistence when it comes to dragging themselves to the polls, where they reliably and proudly vote for whichever of the two or more people on offer is the bigger asshole and menace. Democrats may enjoy priding themselves on being nuanced and discriminating, but the current shitty state of things is largely attributable to the “Bernie or Bust” and third-party voters who apparently assumed things could only get so bad.
Read the rest of this entry »
I heard a cool story today. I don’t recall every detail, but here’s the gist:
Once upon a time not so long ago, this dude I know and a girl who had the hots for him took a rubber raft down the Merrimack River on a very warm July day. At some point the two of them got drunk on Schlitz to the sound of cows lowing away from both riverbanks, eventually inspiring the dude to push the chick over the side just to see what she might have been sitting on. She tumbled in backward, shoulder blades first and ass akimbo, which was nice. “JERK!” she yelled, tearing off her string bikini in consternation and following doggedly in his wake using a modified butterfly stroke. There were no witnesses. He tossed her a couple of beers and settled back for a nap.
After three hours and seven minutes of this, the dude, now awake, sunburned, and bored with the whole enterprise, steered the raft to shore, shed his homoerotic cut-off jeans shorts, and forcibly commandeered a 1967 Dodge Dart with bright yellow rocker panels from a blind yam salesman operating in a riverside park. He soon found himself driving down the Everett Turnpike, his nubile companion again seated beside him and — from the musky smell of things — uncommonly hot and bothered. (I’m just telling you what he said.) There was a decal of Yosemite Sam giving the finger pasted on the rear windshield. The oil light kept coming on even though the yam salesman had claimed to have dumped about four quarts into the crankcase that very day, so the dude became really angry and smashed in the dashboard display with his thumb. Then, while still doing seventy-five, he threw the door open, leaned way out and peered under the car, abrading his scalp on the pavement. He could see a veritable flood of oil spurting from the sagging engine block. This shit, he thought, should never happen with a Slant 6 engine. Read the rest of this entry »
“He’ll become presidential when it’s time,” assured an army of gibbering halfwits at the end of 2016, when Donald Trump was behaving like the idiot he always has been and forever will be. “The stupidity is all just an act! You wait and see!”
Here’s where we are a year and a half later. Things are exactly as bad as, or worse than, any objective and learned observer could have predicted. Trump is, if anything, even less intelligent, more temperamental, and more dishonest than he used to be, which makes sense given the stress he’s now under.
The convenient thing about being credulous enough to have ever swallowed such obvious nonsense about Trump’s brainpower and leadership potential is that your Trump excuse bag will never come up empty. Read the rest of this entry »
On June 6, Kim Duclos posted this on her Facebook Timeline for a short spell. It’s the text of an e-mail she was boasting about sending to USATF-New England the previous day.
It has come to my attention that an article exists using my name and image in relation to Kevin Beck. I have never had any connection to Beck, other than rejecting his coaching in both 2009 and 2014. He has since sought revenge on me via websites and social media. I was not aware that I received any awards from USATFNE and do not wish to be associated with any awards.
The article contains various inaccuracies. I never provided this interview. I do not have a degree in graphic design. My undergrad is in Comm/IT with CS classes at WPI. I did run in college for one season for WPI, qualifying for nationals. An ex-girlfriend, by the name of C______, who I was at one time acquainted with, gave this interview. It was done via a phone conversation, using a Massachusetts phone line that she had at the time while living there with her parents. She has since apologized.
With recent publications associating Kevin Beck with women beating, animal abuse, and theft, I want to make it clear that I have no connection to this clearly ill person. If the article is not removed voluntarily, I will ask for the assistance from my lawyer.
Criminal records and articles of Kevin Beck’s abuse can be provided upon request.
This is one of the many stories Kim has told that is simply so insane on its face, with so many obvious lies, that it’s difficult to pick which of them to debunk first. It’s like trying to decide what part of the Genesis account of creation is the most anti-scientific. Read the rest of this entry »
I think that catastrophic levels of psychological projection must be catching.
As I mentioned recently, when Kim Duclos decided to try to help a certain gay-hating Evangelical in his battle to keep me from criticizing the maniacal bullshit he continually flings into cyberspace, it quickly occurred to her to tip off another of my haters, the Granite Grok consortium of perpetually livid right-wingers in New Hampshire, to what was afoot.
It seems like none of these three parties is capable of expressing satisfaction about anyone or anything without their words being a painfully obvious indictment of their own shortcomings.
I have a history with Ed Naile. I don’t blame him for not liking me. He is a muckraker extraordinaire and utterly dishonest in how he conducts himself, and I’ve offered my insights about him a couple of times on this blog. I understand why this has upset him, and why he was quick to seize on the me-vs.-gay-bashing-Evangelical situation when Kim reached out to him. It’s not like him to be remotely concerned with accuracy, so the other day he decided to just fire off a bunch of disjointed words from his addled little forebrain.
A raving homophobe, a shitfaced self-loathing slug, and a couple of illiterate woodchucks walk into a bar
Make that a psychiatric ward. Or a pathological liars’ convention. Or a self-help group for people who need to vent about who’s to blame for their failures in life: Liberals, faggots, people who can function in everyday life without begging or resorting to crude sexual acts, etc.
Wait. In one paragraph, I’ve just described my view of the Internet lately.
Think of this post as the prologue of a novel you would only read if you were bored in an airport and wanted to feel both better about yourself and worse about humanity at the same time. Read the rest of this entry »
When new regulations are proposed in the automotive, airline, agricultural, pharmaceutical industries, you don’t hear widespread yammering that the government or some shadowy cabal of wealthy influence-peddlers is taking steps to completely eliminate car ownership, commercial air travel, prescription or OTC drugs, or small farms.
In my lifetime, cigarette vending machines and TV ads gave been eliminated and the tobacco age raised to 18. At no time has there been a groundswell of squawking about a plan to make cigarettes illegal altogether.
But when it comes to guns, whenever anyone so much as suggests something like “Hey, maybe there should be limits on the number of battle tanks private citizens can own,” the paranoiacs always start screaming at the top of their lungs about this being a clear step in the direction of Stalinism and totalitarianism. Which is funny considering that these same Yosemite Samites practically trip over their long red beards in an effort to fellate totalitarian politicians and the despotic nonsense of conservative Christianity.
Some people are hopeful that the next U.S. president will be a good one. By that, I assume they mean the opposite of Donald Trump: intelligent rather than blinkered, stable rather than demented, eloquent rather than stammering, and appealing to everyone (inasmuch as this is possible) rather than targeting a segment of the American population whose brains are indistinguishable from those of the proximate common ancestor of Homo sapiens and Pan troglodytes.
I, being spiteful rather than optimistic and convinced by episodes like this that there is no hope at all for sanity to evolve organically in the U.S., disagree. Because I want an entire class of people to be punished for things they can’t help feeling and doing anyway, I’d like to see a president who is in fact exactly like Donald Trump, but with opposite ideological leanings. I want him or her to embody the very things millions of paranoid religious yokels and rage-fueled Yosemite Samites (or is it Samists?) believed were true about Obama and, despite a decade of unfulfilled prophecies about him, still believe.
Here’s a short checklist of things I want the next president to say and do or at least make continual noise about: Read the rest of this entry »
A recent Christian Post article exploring the results of another survey showing a decline in the popularity of Christianity in the U.S. is, as is true of most Evangelical expulsions, entertaining for its lack of insight into how people view them.
By definition, Evangelicals are living a life built on lies and denial. It is one thing to believe in a conscious creator of the universe and leave it at that (I don’t, but it’s not a strictly irrational idea) but quite another to reject evolution and other basic scientific realities. So in a sense, it shouldn’t be surprising when Evangelicals turn out to be moral hypocrites as well as purveyors of — to be kind — psuedo-scientific nonsense.
But one would think that they would at least be able to understand why other people are not okay with their whole scam. That is, they should appreciate that there are valid reasons that other people aren’t on board with their peculiar shambles of an alternative reality. Read the rest of this entry »
For a few years in a previous decade, I used to regularly get into tussles with Evangelicals online. In case you haven’t heard, ECs, who for inexplicable reasons are often regarded as worthy interview subjects, staunchly and habitually attempt to defend indefensible, asinine things about the natural world; there is no point at all in arguing with them other than passing the time and in effect bullying people who flawlessly impersonate special-needs adults and uncontrolled schizophrenics.
Apart from their nonsense claims about geology, biology, and basic reality, they constitute a voting blog notorious throughout modern U.S. history for trying to claim the American moral high ground while keeping a straight face, like a guy who removes an issue of Penthouse with the pages stuck together from under his mattress and claims he’s never even looked at it. They are, of course, no more immune to temptations of the flesh than anyone else, and in fact often wind up in a disproportionate share of sex scandals thanks to the contradictory and unrealistic framework in which they are raised. Whenever you see a male state legislator from a low-information swamp-republic carrying on about the evils of same-sex marriage, you might as well start the countdown to the day he is found in a hotel room with some underage kid’s face in his crotch.
Read the rest of this entry »
This appeared on the Internet recently. It’s a very common trope, and the more reasons that emerge to disbelieve it, the more people like this one dig in their heels and engage unwittingly in intellectual self-abasement.
When someone overdoses on heroin, political leaders and other members of society don’t typically start jabbering about the number of responsible high-seekers who can use opioids safely, or the vast number who take prescription painkillers without selling them to people who then grind them up and snort them, etc. Sure, the government doesn’t actually care about the opioid epidemic at the moment, but no one is actually coming out and saying that drugs aren’t the problem in drug addiction and overdose deaths.
Read the rest of this entry »
Of all the obnoxious things people perpetrate against their friends and more-than-friends — stealing, infidelity, broken promises, and other forms of disloyalty — I think that ghosting is the worst.
For those who don’t know, this just means disappearing from someone’s life without any explanation. It happens plenty on social media between people who aren’t actually friends, which doesn’t count, and it’s a common tactic of potential employers, which is infuriating but also doesn’t fall under the umbrella of what I’m describing here.
I’ve noticed that the correlation between situations I would expect to result in ghosting and the ones that actually do is fairly weak. That is, the few times it’s happened to me, and in the instances on my friends’ lives that I know of, the people who have done it have had far less apparent reason(s) for doing it than various others who have been given every reason to commit a ghosting, but haven’t.
Interestingly, the only three times it has happened to me that I can think of have involved perpetrators from a very small U.S. region. (In one instance, it was actually a welcome thing because the other party was a bucket case with nothing to offer me or anyone else besides static and nonsense.) This place may be the Iten Province of ghosting; this wouldn’t surprise me, since anyone who’s been near it, from apocalyptic warmongers to noble civic leaders, would cheerfully agree that continuously shelling this locale for about a week straight would improve its overall profile and that of the U.S. and humankind overall.
About half of gun owners say that having a gun is either a very important or somewhat important part of their identity.
Think about that. How many of you can point to a single material possession you think defines you in any way? You might say “My car” or even “My college degree” (with the latter obviously symbolizing an experience rather than standing as a “possession” in the usual sense). But what sort of person actually associates a weapon, or any one object, with a strong sense of self?
Apparently, millions of people who own guns do Read the rest of this entry »
In the aftermath of the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, the right-wing media has advanced two ideas about the students who survived it and are speaking publicly about it: they’re too young and emotionally distraught to have valid opinions on the issue of gun control, yet at the same time they’re savvy operators being coached or even paid by liberals to parade themselves in front of the cameras and therefore cannot be trusted on the matter gun control.
Either way, the message is the same: “Don’t engage these silly kids on this issue.”
I’m not going to claim that I ever endured anything remotely resembling what these students did. But as a high-school sophomore in December 1985, I was, in fact, present for a school shooting at a time when those were extremely rare (the lone fatality was the shotgun-toting former student himself). And one month later, a teacher at my high school was killed on national television along with six others in a space-shuttle mishap while virtually all of us, from the superintendent of schools to the cafeteria ladies, watched. I saw my teachers and other adults on the scene sobbing and wandering the hallways in shock, no better prepared to handle this unexpected plot twist than any of us kids were; this collective breakdown was itself an unreal tableau.
I would say that counts as trauma by any reasonable standard. And it didn’t mean our brains were hobbled.
When you’re a teenager, no matter how skeptical and scornful you might be toward your elders — especially teachers and parents — at some level, you tend to believe that they are better or stronger than you, or at least immune to crippling fits of emotion. That’s how it was in the 1980s, anyway, and it was still true in 2001, as I saw during the 9/11 attacks. You tend to think that only obvious psychopaths like Jeffrey Dahmer are ruined grown-ups, and you tell yourself you’ll never confront such monsters anyway.
As a result, I cannot imagine how appalled I would have been in the wake of Challenger disaster to see a supposed adult – a news figure, no less, or at least a flapping face on a TV screen — attempt to delegitimize my and my classmates’ ideas and feelings by declaring, in effect, “Whatever those Concord High kids are saying about the space program, NASA, Morton Thiokol — they’re not reliable commentators on any of it.” Sure, we were kids, but a lot of is were already a fuck of a lot more on the ball and worth listening to out there than at least half of the adults in this country.
But we didn’t know it. In those days, there was no national-scale media-propaganda outlet set aside especially for stupid and insane people, as there is now. Carnival-barker media figures like O’Reilly, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, and every other squint-eyed piece of shit out there didn’t exist except in their ugly formative stages. Unfortunately, the sort of ignorant, resentful, incompetent mouth-breathing, Bible-banging bumpkins did, and they were an untapped market, unknowingly waited for a series of wrinkly peckers to metaphorically (in most cases) fellate (or worse).
Anyone suggesting that the kids in Parkland have an emotional stake in what they’re saying is absolutely correct. But trying to say this doesn’t matter is both obviously stupid and cruel. And people like Bill O’Reilly know it.
Also, my inclusion of that response from Shannon Moore, whoever she is (“a witch in search of her hat” is my first guess) was no accident. Despite being a simpleton, this “Christian” — who on her profile at least has the honesty to refer to herself as an aspiring writer, which makes sense given the wealth of basic grammatical and factual errors on her shitblog — is among the many amateur conserva-pundits pretending as though a handful of young people eating detergent constitutes a generation-wide phenomenon. Millions of howling rednecks, most of them older Americans like Shannon Moore, believe the crap spraying from the face-anuses of O’Reilly and Donald Trump every day, and most of them are “Christians” who think the cheerleader-fondling Roy Moore should have been elected because party loyalty. I’d say the latter peer group constitutes a greater danger to society than the former one does. Fortunately, they’re older and will die fairly soon, although not soon enough, the damage they’ve done will live on even as their bloated corpses rot unpretentiously away, the charred imaginary souls within destined for a Hell that unfortunately is as much of a lie as the rest of the nonsense these syphilitic twats believe.
If Trump were serious about an infrastructure overhaul, he would find a way to permanently plug the gushing sewer pipes extending from the faces of O’Reilly, Hannity, Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Dana Loesch, and of course himself and the various misbred proto-hominid life forms in his own family. He would find a way to detoxify the source of these messes, so whatever later emerged into the restored face-conduits was less obviously wrongheaded and inflammatory.
PECKERWOOD HEIGHTS, Tenn. — An armed gunman attending a National Rifle Association convention opened fire on his fellow Second Amendment enthusiasts yesterday, killing 137 and wounding 823 others and orphaning dozens of rifles — some as young as six days old — in a matter of eight horrific minutes.
The massacre, believed to be the deadliest U.S. shooting to occur so far today, took place inside the spacious theater of the Christian school that hosted the gathering. A video presentation instructing NRA members how to properly deal with irrational analysts intent on linking guns to gun violence had been playing for approximately 20 minutes when a 46-year-old former Marine combat veteran calmly trained the AR-15 military-style automatic weapon he had been casually brandishing on the front row of viewers and began dischargingn rounds of at a rate of 10 bullets per second while slowly rotating the muzzle clockwise. Before anyone could do more than let fly howls of terror and dismay, witnesses said, the man — whose name the gun lobby is declining to release owing to a high likelihood of negative media coverage by cowardly leftists — had also deployed a light anti-tank weapon, tossed several lethal grenades, and a tricked-up Kalashnikov capable of firing tiny conical thermonuclear warheads with a muzzle velocity of 1,100 meters per second.
“Sometimes,” marveled an owner of 54 firearms from Who The Fuck Cares, Texas, “bad people just find a way to make guns do stuff guns was never intented to do, and good people get killed.”
The dozens of surviving NRA members who were literally inches to feet away from people who lost their lives vowed to find the ultimate reason for this grisly attack, adding that had any armed private citizens been on hand to intercede, well over 130 of the fallen with various kinds of guns still strapped to their shredded corpses would surely have lived to see another NRA convention.
“Ole Jim there would have been ready for something like this,” said one survivor, pointing to a slain man lying a few feet away whose head now consisted of a pool of blood, skull fragments, and brain matter. “He was always packin’ heat and had an eye for miscreants. No psycho could’ve got the jump on him.”
“We’re sending our heartfelt thoughts and prayers to the deceased and their families, as well as each other,” declared Wayne Lapierre, the cult’s supreme leader for many harvest moons in a row now. “We feel it’s unfortunate that the Democrats, in their haste to blame NRA members whenever some nutbag from a domestic terror sponsor commits violent gun act, are probably going to politicize this first like they always do.”
At press time, a naked Dana Loesch was attempting to crack a coconut open with her thighs as part of filming another “We’ll Die Before You Take Our Guns” YouTube video for the NRA.