Last night, I got into it on a friend’s Facebook page with a couple of lost-cause right-wing fuckheads, clearly among the many millions of Americans who simply do not care that the U.S. president is turning out to be as bad or worse than even full-throated cynics realized. These assholes, being simpletons and Bible-boppers, come in one basic flavor. They parrot Fox News talking points that only come from Fox News, but claim, pointlessly, to collect their “info” from a variety of sources; they take great umbrage at not being treated civilly despite providing every imaginable rationale for being insulted in the extreme; and they never, fucking ever read any links you offer or show the slightest sign that they’re in it for any other reason but to make noise, making their pleas for civility even more inane than they would be already.
In response, I started calmly discussing why the U.S. might become a slightly less adversarial place for people with somewhat advanced forebrains if everyone could be reversibly sterilized at birth. I actually do think this would be a good idea, but it’s not something I would personally implement even if given the unique power to do so.
The first thing I usually do when some stranger concludes that I’m legitimately unhinged based on some throwaway Facebook comment is double down and expand on whatever idea I’ve introduced to see how far I can go before the other person recognizes that I’m kidding. Read the rest of this entry »
A (trigger warning!) Florida man was arrested and fired from his job after being caught taking pictures up a woman’s skirt at his pace of work. That place of work was a church, the woman was a parishioner, and the man arrested is a pastor.
Serious question: Why don’t church leaders seem more concerned about the frequency with which this stuff happens, which in turn relates to how easy it evidently is to achieve the designation of “pastor”?
I figure that folks at the top don’t see any way to stop what people leading any of the thousands of congregations across the country are doing, or they don’t really care.
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Kim Duclos has been busy in the one place she continues to feel somewhat welcome: a Reddit forum for people with pernicious drinking problems they have no interest in addressing. That she feels comfortable in such a place is hardly extraordinary given the defining elements of her life these days. The telling aspect is that, even when surrounded exclusively by hammered depressives, she can’t avoid fighting with people, and she can’t be remotely honest even when she knows I and others are watching her antics.
Here’s the synopsis: Between November 2017 and January of this year, using three different Reddit accounts, Kim variously claimed to be an IT professional planning to return to school, a homeless Hungry Buffs driver, and a lawyer.
Having apparently not yet satisfied her appetite for self-degradation, she was back at it in March. This time, under the appropriate handle “Literal_Crap_bag,” she has claimed to be a condo-developer-turned-laborer, a single mom, and a drunk. Only one of these claims is true, and no one gets a prize for “guessing” which one that is.
How is it clear that this is Kim? Well, first there was this, in the Boulder subreddit in late March. It concerns an imaginary incident in the parking lot of a local liquor store.
Over 40% of eligible voters sat out the 2016 election. This would be a breathtaking statistic to anyone who hasn’t wandered outside recently and spent a few minutes in the company of typical American citizens. As a rule, we are a complacent, ignorant, and feeble-minded people. We love bullshit and peddlers of false hope like preachers and gurus. I don’t mean this unkindly, but even people who aren’t well off have known too much prosperity to demonstrate any sort of desperation about the government. This is perhaps best exemplified by all of the Obama-hating hillbillies who screamed about the last president being a socialist Muslim but also counted on their food stamps and newfound health insurance finding its way toward them thanks to policies that Democrats, for all of their flaws, support far more robustly than Republicans do.
Right now, I would guess that about 90% of ignorant people who routinely participate in important elections vote Republican. (Note that this is a different proposition than saying that 90% of Republicans are ignorant). Evangelical Christians may be a brainless and vile lot, but they have a certain mindless, insectile persistence when it comes to dragging themselves to the polls, where they reliably and proudly vote for whichever of the two or more people on offer is the bigger asshole and menace. Democrats may enjoy priding themselves on being nuanced and discriminating, but the current shitty state of things is largely attributable to the “Bernie or Bust” and third-party voters who apparently assumed things could only get so bad.
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I heard a cool story today. I don’t recall every detail, but here’s the gist:
Once upon a time not so long ago, this dude I know and a girl who had the hots for him took a rubber raft down the Merrimack River on a very warm July day. At some point the two of them got drunk on Schlitz to the sound of cows lowing away from both riverbanks, eventually inspiring the dude to push the chick over the side just to see what she might have been sitting on. She tumbled in backward, shoulder blades first and ass akimbo, which was nice. “JERK!” she yelled, tearing off her string bikini in consternation and following doggedly in his wake using a modified butterfly stroke. There were no witnesses. He tossed her a couple of beers and settled back for a nap.
After three hours and seven minutes of this, the dude, now awake, sunburned, and bored with the whole enterprise, steered the raft to shore, shed his homoerotic cut-off jeans shorts, and forcibly commandeered a 1967 Dodge Dart with bright yellow rocker panels from a blind yam salesman operating in a riverside park. He soon found himself driving down the Everett Turnpike, his nubile companion again seated beside him and — from the musky smell of things — uncommonly hot and bothered. (I’m just telling you what he said.) There was a decal of Yosemite Sam giving the finger pasted on the rear windshield. The oil light kept coming on even though the yam salesman had claimed to have dumped about four quarts into the crankcase that very day, so the dude became really angry and smashed in the dashboard display with his thumb. Then, while still doing seventy-five, he threw the door open, leaned way out and peered under the car, abrading his scalp on the pavement. He could see a veritable flood of oil spurting from the sagging engine block. This shit, he thought, should never happen with a Slant 6 engine. Read the rest of this entry »
“He’ll become presidential when it’s time,” assured an army of gibbering halfwits at the end of 2016, when Donald Trump was behaving like the idiot he always has been and forever will be. “The stupidity is all just an act! You wait and see!”
Here’s where we are a year and a half later. Things are exactly as bad as, or worse than, any objective and learned observer could have predicted. Trump is, if anything, even less intelligent, more temperamental, and more dishonest than he used to be, which makes sense given the stress he’s now under.
The convenient thing about being credulous enough to have ever swallowed such obvious nonsense about Trump’s brainpower and leadership potential is that your Trump excuse bag will never come up empty. Read the rest of this entry »
On June 6, Kim Duclos posted this on her Facebook Timeline for a short spell. It’s the text of an e-mail she was boasting about sending to USATF-New England the previous day.
It has come to my attention that an article exists using my name and image in relation to Kevin Beck. I have never had any connection to Beck, other than rejecting his coaching in both 2009 and 2014. He has since sought revenge on me via websites and social media. I was not aware that I received any awards from USATFNE and do not wish to be associated with any awards.
The article contains various inaccuracies. I never provided this interview. I do not have a degree in graphic design. My undergrad is in Comm/IT with CS classes at WPI. I did run in college for one season for WPI, qualifying for nationals. An ex-girlfriend, by the name of C______, who I was at one time acquainted with, gave this interview. It was done via a phone conversation, using a Massachusetts phone line that she had at the time while living there with her parents. She has since apologized.
With recent publications associating Kevin Beck with women beating, animal abuse, and theft, I want to make it clear that I have no connection to this clearly ill person. If the article is not removed voluntarily, I will ask for the assistance from my lawyer.
Criminal records and articles of Kevin Beck’s abuse can be provided upon request.
This is one of the many stories Kim has told that is simply so insane on its face, with so many obvious lies, that it’s difficult to pick which of them to debunk first. It’s like trying to decide what part of the Genesis account of creation is the most anti-scientific. Read the rest of this entry »
I think that catastrophic levels of psychological projection must be catching.
As I mentioned recently, when Kim Duclos decided to try to help a certain gay-hating Evangelical in his battle to keep me from criticizing the maniacal bullshit he continually flings into cyberspace, it quickly occurred to her to tip off another of my haters, the Granite Grok consortium of perpetually livid right-wingers in New Hampshire, to what was afoot.
It seems like none of these three parties is capable of expressing satisfaction about anyone or anything without their words being a painfully obvious indictment of their own shortcomings.
I have a history with Ed Naile. I don’t blame him for not liking me. He is a muckraker extraordinaire and utterly dishonest in how he conducts himself, and I’ve offered my insights about him a couple of times on this blog. I understand why this has upset him, and why he was quick to seize on the me-vs.-gay-bashing-Evangelical situation when Kim reached out to him. It’s not like him to be remotely concerned with accuracy, so the other day he decided to just fire off a bunch of disjointed words from his addled little forebrain.
A raving homophobe, a shitfaced self-loathing slug, and a couple of illiterate woodchucks walk into a bar
Make that a psychiatric ward. Or a pathological liars’ convention. Or a self-help group for people who need to vent about who’s to blame for their failures in life: Liberals, faggots, people who can function in everyday life without begging or resorting to crude sexual acts, etc.
Wait. In one paragraph, I’ve just described my view of the Internet lately.
Think of this post as the prologue of a novel you would only read if you were bored in an airport and wanted to feel both better about yourself and worse about humanity at the same time. Read the rest of this entry »
When new regulations are proposed in the automotive, airline, agricultural, pharmaceutical industries, you don’t hear widespread yammering that the government or some shadowy cabal of wealthy influence-peddlers is taking steps to completely eliminate car ownership, commercial air travel, prescription or OTC drugs, or small farms.
In my lifetime, cigarette vending machines and TV ads gave been eliminated and the tobacco age raised to 18. At no time has there been a groundswell of squawking about a plan to make cigarettes illegal altogether.
But when it comes to guns, whenever anyone so much as suggests something like “Hey, maybe there should be limits on the number of battle tanks private citizens can own,” the paranoiacs always start screaming at the top of their lungs about this being a clear step in the direction of Stalinism and totalitarianism. Which is funny considering that these same Yosemite Samites practically trip over their long red beards in an effort to fellate totalitarian politicians and the despotic nonsense of conservative Christianity.
Some people are hopeful that the next U.S. president will be a good one. By that, I assume they mean the opposite of Donald Trump: intelligent rather than blinkered, stable rather than demented, eloquent rather than stammering, and appealing to everyone (inasmuch as this is possible) rather than targeting a segment of the American population whose brains are indistinguishable from those of the proximate common ancestor of Homo sapiens and Pan troglodytes.
I, being spiteful rather than optimistic and convinced by episodes like this that there is no hope at all for sanity to evolve organically in the U.S., disagree. Because I want an entire class of people to be punished for things they can’t help feeling and doing anyway, I’d like to see a president who is in fact exactly like Donald Trump, but with opposite ideological leanings. I want him or her to embody the very things millions of paranoid religious yokels and rage-fueled Yosemite Samites (or is it Samists?) believed were true about Obama and, despite a decade of unfulfilled prophecies about him, still believe.
Here’s a short checklist of things I want the next president to say and do or at least make continual noise about: Read the rest of this entry »
A recent Christian Post article exploring the results of another survey showing a decline in the popularity of Christianity in the U.S. is, as is true of most Evangelical expulsions, entertaining for its lack of insight into how people view them.
By definition, Evangelicals are living a life built on lies and denial. It is one thing to believe in a conscious creator of the universe and leave it at that (I don’t, but it’s not a strictly irrational idea) but quite another to reject evolution and other basic scientific realities. So in a sense, it shouldn’t be surprising when Evangelicals turn out to be moral hypocrites as well as purveyors of — to be kind — psuedo-scientific nonsense.
But one would think that they would at least be able to understand why other people are not okay with their whole scam. That is, they should appreciate that there are valid reasons that other people aren’t on board with their peculiar shambles of an alternative reality. Read the rest of this entry »
For a few years in a previous decade, I used to regularly get into tussles with Evangelicals online. In case you haven’t heard, ECs, who for inexplicable reasons are often regarded as worthy interview subjects, staunchly and habitually attempt to defend indefensible, asinine things about the natural world; there is no point at all in arguing with them other than passing the time and in effect bullying people who flawlessly impersonate special-needs adults and uncontrolled schizophrenics.
Apart from their nonsense claims about geology, biology, and basic reality, they constitute a voting blog notorious throughout modern U.S. history for trying to claim the American moral high ground while keeping a straight face, like a guy who removes an issue of Penthouse with the pages stuck together from under his mattress and claims he’s never even looked at it. They are, of course, no more immune to temptations of the flesh than anyone else, and in fact often wind up in a disproportionate share of sex scandals thanks to the contradictory and unrealistic framework in which they are raised. Whenever you see a male state legislator from a low-information swamp-republic carrying on about the evils of same-sex marriage, you might as well start the countdown to the day he is found in a hotel room with some underage kid’s face in his crotch.
Read the rest of this entry »
This appeared on the Internet recently. It’s a very common trope, and the more reasons that emerge to disbelieve it, the more people like this one dig in their heels and engage unwittingly in intellectual self-abasement.
When someone overdoses on heroin, political leaders and other members of society don’t typically start jabbering about the number of responsible high-seekers who can use opioids safely, or the vast number who take prescription painkillers without selling them to people who then grind them up and snort them, etc. Sure, the government doesn’t actually care about the opioid epidemic at the moment, but no one is actually coming out and saying that drugs aren’t the problem in drug addiction and overdose deaths.
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Of all the obnoxious things people perpetrate against their friends and more-than-friends — stealing, infidelity, broken promises, and other forms of disloyalty — I think that ghosting is the worst.
For those who don’t know, this just means disappearing from someone’s life without any explanation. It happens plenty on social media between people who aren’t actually friends, which doesn’t count, and it’s a common tactic of potential employers, which is infuriating but also doesn’t fall under the umbrella of what I’m describing here.
I’ve noticed that the correlation between situations I would expect to result in ghosting and the ones that actually do is fairly weak. That is, the few times it’s happened to me, and in the instances on my friends’ lives that I know of, the people who have done it have had far less apparent reason(s) for doing it than various others who have been given every reason to commit a ghosting, but haven’t.
Interestingly, the only three times it has happened to me that I can think of have involved perpetrators from a very small U.S. region. (In one instance, it was actually a welcome thing because the other party was a bucket case with nothing to offer me or anyone else besides static and nonsense.) This place may be the Iten Province of ghosting; this wouldn’t surprise me, since anyone who’s been near it, from apocalyptic warmongers to noble civic leaders, would cheerfully agree that continuously shelling this locale for about a week straight would improve its overall profile and that of the U.S. and humankind overall.
About half of gun owners say that having a gun is either a very important or somewhat important part of their identity.
Think about that. How many of you can point to a single material possession you think defines you in any way? You might say “My car” or even “My college degree” (with the latter obviously symbolizing an experience rather than standing as a “possession” in the usual sense). But what sort of person actually associates a weapon, or any one object, with a strong sense of self?
Apparently, millions of people who own guns do Read the rest of this entry »
In the aftermath of the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, the right-wing media has advanced two ideas about the students who survived it and are speaking publicly about it: they’re too young and emotionally distraught to have valid opinions on the issue of gun control, yet at the same time they’re savvy operators being coached or even paid by liberals to parade themselves in front of the cameras and therefore cannot be trusted on the matter gun control.
Either way, the message is the same: “Don’t engage these silly kids on this issue.”
I’m not going to claim that I ever endured anything remotely resembling what these students did. But as a high-school sophomore in December 1985, I was, in fact, present for a school shooting at a time when those were extremely rare (the lone fatality was the shotgun-toting former student himself). And one month later, a teacher at my high school was killed on national television along with six others in a space-shuttle mishap while virtually all of us, from the superintendent of schools to the cafeteria ladies, watched. I saw my teachers and other adults on the scene sobbing and wandering the hallways in shock, no better prepared to handle this unexpected plot twist than any of us kids were; this collective breakdown was itself an unreal tableau.
I would say that counts as trauma by any reasonable standard. And it didn’t mean our brains were hobbled.
When you’re a teenager, no matter how skeptical and scornful you might be toward your elders — especially teachers and parents — at some level, you tend to believe that they are better or stronger than you, or at least immune to crippling fits of emotion. That’s how it was in the 1980s, anyway, and it was still true in 2001, as I saw during the 9/11 attacks. You tend to think that only obvious psychopaths like Jeffrey Dahmer are ruined grown-ups, and you tell yourself you’ll never confront such monsters anyway.
As a result, I cannot imagine how appalled I would have been in the wake of Challenger disaster to see a supposed adult – a news figure, no less, or at least a flapping face on a TV screen — attempt to delegitimize my and my classmates’ ideas and feelings by declaring, in effect, “Whatever those Concord High kids are saying about the space program, NASA, Morton Thiokol — they’re not reliable commentators on any of it.” Sure, we were kids, but a lot of is were already a fuck of a lot more on the ball and worth listening to out there than at least half of the adults in this country.
But we didn’t know it. In those days, there was no national-scale media-propaganda outlet set aside especially for stupid and insane people, as there is now. Carnival-barker media figures like O’Reilly, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, and every other squint-eyed piece of shit out there didn’t exist except in their ugly formative stages. Unfortunately, the sort of ignorant, resentful, incompetent mouth-breathing, Bible-banging bumpkins did, and they were an untapped market, unknowingly waited for a series of wrinkly peckers to metaphorically (in most cases) fellate (or worse).
Anyone suggesting that the kids in Parkland have an emotional stake in what they’re saying is absolutely correct. But trying to say this doesn’t matter is both obviously stupid and cruel. And people like Bill O’Reilly know it.
Also, my inclusion of that response from Shannon Moore, whoever she is (“a witch in search of her hat” is my first guess) was no accident. Despite being a simpleton, this “Christian” — who on her profile at least has the honesty to refer to herself as an aspiring writer, which makes sense given the wealth of basic grammatical and factual errors on her shitblog — is among the many amateur conserva-pundits pretending as though a handful of young people eating detergent constitutes a generation-wide phenomenon. Millions of howling rednecks, most of them older Americans like Shannon Moore, believe the crap spraying from the face-anuses of O’Reilly and Donald Trump every day, and most of them are “Christians” who think the cheerleader-fondling Roy Moore should have been elected because party loyalty. I’d say the latter peer group constitutes a greater danger to society than the former one does. Fortunately, they’re older and will die fairly soon, although not soon enough, the damage they’ve done will live on even as their bloated corpses rot unpretentiously away, the charred imaginary souls within destined for a Hell that unfortunately is as much of a lie as the rest of the nonsense these syphilitic twats believe.
If Trump were serious about an infrastructure overhaul, he would find a way to permanently plug the gushing sewer pipes extending from the faces of O’Reilly, Hannity, Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Dana Loesch, and of course himself and the various misbred proto-hominid life forms in his own family. He would find a way to detoxify the source of these messes, so whatever later emerged into the restored face-conduits was less obviously wrongheaded and inflammatory.
PECKERWOOD HEIGHTS, Tenn. — An armed gunman attending a National Rifle Association convention opened fire on his fellow Second Amendment enthusiasts yesterday, killing 137 and wounding 823 others and orphaning dozens of rifles — some as young as six days old — in a matter of eight horrific minutes.
The massacre, believed to be the deadliest U.S. shooting to occur so far today, took place inside the spacious theater of the Christian school that hosted the gathering. A video presentation instructing NRA members how to properly deal with irrational analysts intent on linking guns to gun violence had been playing for approximately 20 minutes when a 46-year-old former Marine combat veteran calmly trained the AR-15 military-style automatic weapon he had been casually brandishing on the front row of viewers and began dischargingn rounds of at a rate of 10 bullets per second while slowly rotating the muzzle clockwise. Before anyone could do more than let fly howls of terror and dismay, witnesses said, the man — whose name the gun lobby is declining to release owing to a high likelihood of negative media coverage by cowardly leftists — had also deployed a light anti-tank weapon, tossed several lethal grenades, and a tricked-up Kalashnikov capable of firing tiny conical thermonuclear warheads with a muzzle velocity of 1,100 meters per second.
“Sometimes,” marveled an owner of 54 firearms from Who The Fuck Cares, Texas, “bad people just find a way to make guns do stuff guns was never intented to do, and good people get killed.”
The dozens of surviving NRA members who were literally inches to feet away from people who lost their lives vowed to find the ultimate reason for this grisly attack, adding that had any armed private citizens been on hand to intercede, well over 130 of the fallen with various kinds of guns still strapped to their shredded corpses would surely have lived to see another NRA convention.
“Ole Jim there would have been ready for something like this,” said one survivor, pointing to a slain man lying a few feet away whose head now consisted of a pool of blood, skull fragments, and brain matter. “He was always packin’ heat and had an eye for miscreants. No psycho could’ve got the jump on him.”
“We’re sending our heartfelt thoughts and prayers to the deceased and their families, as well as each other,” declared Wayne Lapierre, the cult’s supreme leader for many harvest moons in a row now. “We feel it’s unfortunate that the Democrats, in their haste to blame NRA members whenever some nutbag from a domestic terror sponsor commits violent gun act, are probably going to politicize this first like they always do.”
At press time, a naked Dana Loesch was attempting to crack a coconut open with her thighs as part of filming another “We’ll Die Before You Take Our Guns” YouTube video for the NRA.
Today marks the 32nd anniversary of the loss of the Space Shuttle Challenger and its seven-astronaut crew. On January 28, 1986, the craft was ripped apart 73 seconds after it lifted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. All seven astronauts on board lost their lives, probably when the still-intact and depressurized crew cabin crashed into the Atlantic Ocean.
At the time, two-thirds of a lifetime ago, I was a sophomore at Concord High School, where Christa McAuliffe taught social studies. I was also a lifelong aficionado of astronomy and the space program, and was surely between girlfriends. As a result, I formed a lot of memories of this event and its aftermath – in terms of both the Concord community and NASA – in the days, weeks, months, and years that followed.
In 2007, I expanded on these memories in a series of five posts on the Chimp Refuge, then housed at ScienceBlogs.com; one year later I underwent a surprising experience related to the disaster, leading me to write another post. Links to all six of these entries are below, but — not to sound too much like a K-Tel record ad from the 1970s — I have collected all of them into this post. That’s right, for the first time, you can get all of these amazing hits in one place!
I have monkeyed with this migrating content so many times over the years that I am not confident of how many of the links, internal and otherwise, might be dead. But technical perfection is not the goal here, which may strike alert readers as sadly ironic.
Lots of people who were around before the advent of the World Wide Web blame the Internet for the apparent decline in people’s respect for one another in the past 25 or so years. They imagine that the ability to remain anonymous, the tendency of people on social media to form thought-bubbles, and even Donald Trump’s Twitter account have made inroads on people’s sense of honor and dignity.
I’m an optimist, so I accept that little has changed since I was a kid, and that in any society, most people are dishonest, uninformed, corrupt, incompetent, and self-serving by default and to varying degrees at different times. This has always been true and always will be until the warm, although admittedly abrupt, embrace of a multitude of glorious mushroom clouds erases us all in a giddy thermonuclear rapture.
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